Chapter 1
Chapter Text
October, 1990
The sun had just started to dip below the horizon, yet the streets were still crowded as children laughed or giggled, leading parents along, all intent on one thing. Trick or treating.
A two-year-old little boy, smaller than average, carefully climbed the steps dressed as a ninja turtle with an orange bandanna across the mask pushed on top of his head, the thick hair a riot of dark ‘almost’ curls sticking out.
His eyes were intense, little tongue sticking out as he knocked carefully, eyes darting up to the tall man at his side who smiled at him proudly.
A young woman dressed as a gypsy answered, chimes dancing along her skirt as she knelt, holding a bowl and smiling at the little boy.
“Aren’t you just the cutest, and who are you supposed to be?”
Eddie grinned and pulled his facial mask down, “Tortuga.” (Turtle)
Hastily, he pushed the mask up and held out his basket, “Me Eds, truco o trato.” (Trick or treat)
The young woman grinned and tapped her lip, “Hmmm, I have just the thing.” With what looked like magic, she pulled out a colossal-sized lollipop and held it up, Eddie’s eyes widening in shocked surprise, “Dulce.” (Candy)
“Here’s your trato(treat). You be good for your Papa and Mami.” The woman rose to her feet, “Say halo to Gabby, Ramon.”
Ramon smiled, and nodded holding out his hand, "Está bien, hombrecito, ¿listo para mostrarle a mamá tu botín?" (alright, little man, ready to show Mami your loot?)
“Botín! Botín! Dulce!” Eddie shouted excitedly, tripping over his feet and only saved from falling by Ramon’s quick actions.
“desacelerar Edmundo. (slow down).” Ramon cautioned, holding the little boy’s hand before swinging him up to his hip as a group of teens ambled down the sidewalk, laughing and joking around.
The paper ghost and pumpkins that Eddie and Gabby had painstakingly made riddled the flower garden, but that wasn’t what made Ramon pause on the walk, a little frown flickering across his face, as he spied the bowl of candy sitting on the front step, with the front door closed, the duel sized Skelton’s off kilter as if someone had shut the door hastily.
Feeling a shiver of apprehension slide down his spine, the mingled scent of roses and honeysuckle seeping into his nose as Ramon carefully lowered Edmundo onto the step and opened the screen door and then the front door, missing his son as he pushed on the door and inside the house yelling, “mami, mami, dulce.”
It was with a finger of growing dread and bile turning in his stomach that Ramon stepped into the silent home, the warm and welcoming vibe Gabby had created shallow and tasting like dust, and somehow knew as his son’s shout of joy turned to one of panic filled horror that nothing would ever be the same again.
***
October 2020
The first time Buck travelled through Texas on his way to Peru, his opinion hadn’t been flattering; that had been in the spring. That had been in 2014, and now, six years later, his fall opinion hadn’t changed his mind. Though the circ*mstances made him hate it. He’d dreaded the orders to join other teams to combat the wildfires in Texas, and the only thing that had convinced him to go was finding out from Eddie that he’d agreed to talk everyone into stopping in El Paso.
A mistake, Buck could see Eddie regretting as they listened to Helena Diaz grill Eddie relentlessly, uncaring that they had other people - teammates, sitting there awkwardly.
Sighing internally, glanced at his watch and then Eddie, whose face had turned to stone. The mask he had on evidently not taught in the Army like Buck had thought.
“This job is too dangerous, Edmundo. You need to stop this foolishness and come home. We never get to see Chris. You didn’t even call on your birthday last month, meaning we had to call you.” Helena glared at Buck like it was his fault, Eddie’s parents couldn’t be bothered to even wish their son a ‘Happy Birthday”. Of course, Buck would never admit it, but he’d shown up and convinced the two Diazes that a weekend camping trip would be ‘just the thing,’ they left, leaving their phones on silent the entire weekend.
Buck raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair, only breathing a sigh of relief when the chair didn’t break. Considering he was the biggest on the team, he had no clue How he’d ended up with the rickety chair.
Eddie clamped a hand around his wrist hidden by the table and jerked his head once, making Buck bite back everything he wanted to say. Instead, a fake and cold smile appeared on his face, “May I use the bathroom?”
Helena’s face twisted defiantly before Ramon nudged her with a warning look and responded. “through the kitchen on the left, across from the laundry room.”
“Thank you,” Buck said as he stood, brushing his hand along Eddie’s back as he passed him.
Crossing through the kitchen, Buck glanced around, taking in the decor and inhaling the scent of spices, nose wrinkling with displeasure, missing the familiar smell of Abuela’s kitchen. It was a weird mixture of Spanish and English decor, which shouldn’t have been odd, but it was off-putting in a way he couldn’t describe.
Finishing in the bathroom, he stood in front of the mirror, washing his hands way longer than necessary but needing the extra minute before facing whatever was out in the dining room. He’d known that Eddie had a somewhat contentious relationship with his parents, but this was overtly hostile in a way that felt worse than his non-speaking relationship with his parents. He was kind of grateful now for being Casper, the ghost haunting the rooms of his family’s home. It had been a nickname he’d given himself in junior high and only left behind when he’d left the Seals, the association with death a little too pointed after learning the truth.
Sighing, Buck turned off the water and dried his hands, opening the door as his eyes caught on an old black and white photograph in the corner. It showed a small bungalow, small bushes on either side of the front door and a young woman with dark hair, half turned so most of her back showed, laughing as she held a baby over her head. Hen came around the corner, and Buck looked at her, wrenching his gaze from the photo and raising an eyebrow. “We leaving?”
Hen sighed and lowered her voice, nodding, “I’m not sure if I should ask you to go save Eddie or wait in the truck.”
“Oh?” Buck asked, already twitching; he knew where he was going, ask or not.
Hen rolled her eyes and handed over the keys as he eased past her, “Buck?”
Buck sighed and glanced behind him, “keep your temper.”
Snorting, Buck shook his head, “When have I ever lost my temper?”
Frowning Hen opened her mouth and then shut it before admitting, “There’s always a first time for everything.”
Tapping the frame, Buck flashed Hen a smile and stepped into the kitchen, unsurprised to find the three from B shift washing and loading the dishwasher. “Eddie still with his parents?”
The firefighter medic Ace grunted and muttered something under his breath as Bruno patted his back consolingly and answered. “Yeah, they corralled him into the living room.”
Sighing, Buck ran a hand down his face and glanced around the kitchen again, eyes landing on the calendar next to the fridge. Buck frowned and went to move closer, but Helena’s raised voice redirected him.
Following the sound of the harsh voices coming from the living room, Buck strolled in, ignoring the warning look on Helena’s face. “we gotta roll, Eds. B shift is finishing the dishes, so if you need to use the bathroom? I’d do it now.”
Eddie shifted to look at him, missing the look of horror and flash of fear on his parent’s faces as he nodded but hesitated as if the former army medic wasn’t sure he wanted to leave the conversation, much less the room, but nodded, “Thanks, Buck.”
Moving out of Eddie’s way, Buck glanced at his best friend’s parents and waited till Eddie was gone before speaking, “You know Eds is happy in LA, right?” Buck started purposely using the nickname Buck called him and watched with a shiver of apprehension as Ramon swallowed thickly and Helena turned white as if looking at a ghost. It was an ironic comparison, as he continued his voice even as he stared them down, “Eds has friends, family, a great job, he’s put down roots, and you attempting to chip at it every conversation is only going to drive him further away.”
Helena snorted shakily, trying to infuse something into her tone but failing as she folded her arms defensively, “he has family here.”
“I mean, not really, unless you mean yourself and Ramon, but compared to the Diazs and extended family in LA, he has five times the amount of support, including his sister and the little family she’s building for herself.” Buck shot back, satisfaction flashing through him as Helena flushed red at the pointed barb. After Helena’s reaction to Adriana’s relationship with a male-to-female partner, he knew Adriana was not talking to her mother. It was even more amusing because Helena did not know Adriana was currently six months pregnant, and no one was telling her, “Abuela lives-“
“You can’t call her that. She’s not your family.” Helena snapped, anger making her face twist unpleasantly.
A dark laugh escaped Buck, and he shook his head, “Technically, she’s not yours either. You married into the family-.”
“You can’t get married!” Helena snarled hands clenched at her side, “You aren’t turning my son gay. I forbid it!”
Buck laughed, “That’s not how sexuality works. It’d also be an honour to marry Eddie, even gaining you as a mother-in-law, but back to Abeula, not only have I been invited, I’ve been ordered to call her Abeula, and I have since I met her two years ago. If you think I’m stupid to go against her, you’re delusional.”
“And dangerous.” Helena spat angrily, attempting to redirect the conversation to put herself on top, shaking off Ramon’s hand when he rested it on her shoulder.
“You mean the tsunami, right?” Buck asked, head on, watching them both rear back as if expecting him to deny it. “I have regretted taking him that day, and I will for the rest of my life, but every person on the LA side of the family has repeatedly assured me that what happened was not my fault. Chris survived by the grace of god and by my actions that day. We survived the first wave and our temporary separation because Eddie has pushed past your beliefs and expectations and broadened Chris’s experiences by teaching him to be a kid with limitations and work around them. You don’t see that; you look at Chris and see his CP first, which means wrapping him in bubble wrap and never letting him live.”
Breathing any heavier, there would have been steam coming from Helena Diaz’s mouth, and she glared at him bitterly, “You need to leave Eddie and Chris alone; you’re overtly familiar with my family, and you’re going to get them killed.”
Feeling a cold shiver run down his spine, as the possessiveness in her tone, Buck straightened, face turning impassive as he stared down at the small woman in front of him, unconsciously trying to find Eddie in her facial features and failing. Musing slowly, like puzzling out a math equation, Buck spoke, “You know, as an employee of the LAFD, that does make me a peace officer, and I have the right to make a civilian arrest because that almost sounded like a threat….”
As Helena paled, Buck pointed at her, ignoring Ramon completely, “Let me make one thing absolutely clear. DNA isn’t everything. It doesn’t make a family - my sperm and egg donor could die in a ditch tomorrow, and I wouldn’t even muster a false tear and have to fight the urge to dance on their graves. Eddie and Chris are my family; we made that with our blood, sweat and tears. We have fought to be where we are by grit and determination. Chris and Eddie are the only two people in the world who can make me step away, and I’d probably go out fighting because they mean everything to me.”
“Buck.” Eddie’s voice was oddly calm as it came from behind him. Buck gave Helena one last glare before glancing over his shoulder, meeting Eddie’s eyes as the other man sighed and shook his head, “Come on, it’s not worth it.”
“Defending you is always worth it, Eds.” Buck denied instantly, furiously as he jerked his head back towards Helena as if to continue.
A warm hand caressed his lower back a second later as Eddie leaned against him, “Evan, let’s go home.”
Exhaling a shuddering breath at his given name, Buck slowly relaxed and nodded, giving the Diaz parents one last lingering look as Eddie led him wordlessly from the room.
In the kitchen, Buck’s eyes landed on the calendar again, and he shook his head in confusion. Eddie’s birthday was last month. Eddie had sworn his first Halloween was when he took Chris out when they first moved to LA. He knew that no one else in the Diaz family in LA had birthdays in October, having helped Chris with a geology project last year, so why was the thirty-first of October circled in a red heart?
***
(**This short podcast is about the 1990 murder of a Mexican immigrant on 15 Ross Ave, in Los Angeles, California.
This murder has been forgotten by society even though the 30th Anniversary is just around the corner. It proves that the social divide is still very much in play and evident throughout this podcast as it addresses the issues of assumptions and shoddy police work regarding those different or from a lower socioeconomic background. Much of this information comes from the incomplete police work, and an anonymous source, who requested they not be named as the husband in question, does not wish to be reminded of this time but has verified its accuracy by providing details only a family friend would know…**)
***
Within a week of getting home from Texas, Buck had been blindsided three ways to Sunday and left in a perpetually pissed-off state ever since, driving the oddness he’d meant to question Eddie out of his mind.
Thankfully, Eddie hadn’t questioned him, and in the lead-up to the date, he’d offered a distraction in the form of Chris as they planned their own Halloween party. COVID still making it impossible to go out and trick or treat.
The date for his parent’s arrival glared at him even though he’d kept it off the calendar - there was no way he could forget their arrival. He’d noticed Chimney acting odd a few days before their expected arrival time - practically running in the opposite direction when he saw Buck, and it had him question what Maddie had told him. His parents, while horrible to him growing up, were still the typical WASP and knew how to play the victim.
He’d never expected Maddie to use those lessons taught by their parents and portrayed herself as the victim, though.
Two weeks after Maddie dropped the bomb, she had invited their parents. Then she blackmailed him into attending dinner, getting confirmation on Daniel’s existence - a great irony towards his nickname in high school, Casper indeed. No, it was the fact that Maddie felt the need to share that dead brother with Chimney, first of all people, who then blabbed to a bomber during an active scene and then had the gall to be irritated with Buck for taking offence to his unwillingness to forgive. It was a stark reminder of the lawsuit all over again, Chimney doing Maddie’s work and undermining his relationship with his co-workers again by woefully whining that Buck was being ‘unfair.’
If Buck had to hear that he needed to forgive Maddie one more time, he was supposed to actually lose his temper, something he strove to never, ever do.
So he fought refuge at Eddie’s, escaping from everyone by turning off his phone the second his feet hit the doorstep, keys jingling in hand.
It was relieving to enter the Diaz’s house, shopping bag in one hand and duffel bag in the other. Toeing his shoes off, Buck tossed his keys in the basket next to his phone and moved through the house, “hello.”
“Kitchen, Chris is still in class,” Eddie called back, voice rough and uneven.
Instantly concerned, Buck hurried his steps, entered the kitchen, and found Eddie sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands, as he ignored the paperwork in front of him.
Not sure what to focus on, Buck went with the non-obvious and asked, “You’re not upset over that call anymore?”
Eddie shook his head, though he did pale a little at the mention of the house that disturbed him.
It had been a routine call to a single-story home in a nice neighbourhood close to Abeula’s but in the opposite direction of any of Eddie’s usual routes. The garden in the front had been lush with flowers, matching-sized rose bushes on either side of the stairs, and the couple had been older, the husband suffering from breathing problems.
No one else had noticed Eddie’s behaviour, trembling hands, and wide-eyed confusion as if seeing something no one else could. He was hesitant when they had to enter, keeping to the front door like he needed to be invited in.
It was odd and unusual, and Buck, who had a finely tuned Eddie meter, had been the only one who’d noticed and convinced him to take the rest of the shift off.
Buck frowned, eyeing him suspiciously before gesturing to the pile of papers. “So what happened?” Buck demanded as he set the shopping bag down and moved to the laundry room off the kitchen, tossing his duffel bag inside, using his shirt to wipe his face and pointing at the papers, “That better not be your mother’s work.”
Startled, Eddie looked up and shook his head dumbfounded, “what? No.” He shook his head again and inhaled slowly, “No, it’s the papers from my lawyer. They finally settled on a date for court. Shannon’s probate.” He waved Buck off when he opened his mouth, “I know it’s been almost two years, but there had been a problem with Janet’s estate when she passed. Shannon didn’t have a completed or signed will, but she was the only beneficiary from Janet’s estate, except for a portion that went to Chris. But because Janet’s hadn’t been completed, Shannon’s had to wait on Janet’s and then COVID….” Eddie sighed nosily, “anyway, it was a mess.”
“How can I help?” Buck asked as he sank into a chair across from Eddie, easing over one of the folders.
“You don’t need the help with this, Buck.” Eddie replied, “You have way too much going on-“
“I’m going to stop you right there. You and Chris will always come first, and this is - as sad as it sounds a great distraction.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow, “still not talking to Maddie?”
“Not talking to any of them.” Buck retorted and made a face as he stood, moving to the bag he’d left on the counter, “I grabbed some beef and veggies, figured we could do a stir-fry.”
“Sounds good.” Eddie muttered under his breath and sighed, “Did you really mean it when you said you’d help?”
“Of course.” Buck responded, pulling out the cutting board and knife simultaneously as he set up the wok, “Even if it’s just to stand beside you as moral support, however, you want me.”
Eddie responded too low to be heard, and Buck frowned as he glanced over, catching the blush that climbed Eddie’s cheeks. Feeling a rush of confused longing, Buck smirked and turned around, taking the steak from the bag and opening the package. They’d been playing this game since Texas - hell, even before Texas, where they had this back-and-forth flirting thing happening, a type of dance that never seemed to cross that invisible line in the sand, but god, Buck wanted to. There had been a few instances where he’d wanted to dive across, heedless of the repercussions, but something always held him back, and he tucked the longing and regret inside and forged ahead.
“If you didn’t talk to anyone, what did you do during downtime today?” Eddie asked after a minute. Interestingly, it didn’t seem like the mood had changed. The intensity of the moment still heightened in a way Buck couldn’t describe.
“I listened to a podcast, working my way through a series of murders from the 90s, of which there were 24000; slightly more than half were solved. In LA alone, there were 1768, and only 1033 were solved. It’s morbid and depressing but holding my attention, so I don’t go off on anyone.” Buck answered, transferring the cut portions to a bowl he grabbed from under the cupboard before slicing some more.
“May I ask something?” Eddie asked carefully.
Buck glanced over, “You can ask me anything, Eds.”
Eddie’s nose twitched like he disagreed with the statement, but he spoke again, “It’s just an observation, but you didn’t seem too shocked by the knowledge of this unknown brother.”
It wasn’t really a question, but Buck responded as if it was, “because I wasn’t, I already knew. I’m pissed because Maddie knew and shared it with Chimney before thinking of telling me, who then blabbed to that bomber, and so far has faced no consequences of that act.”
“Wait? What? How, why?” Eddie stammered, sitting up, “You knew, I was under the impression you-“
“Didn’t know? Yeah, I gathered.” Buck responded dryly, finishing the beef strips, adding them to the bowl, and setting it aside. “As for how I found out? I don’t know about the Army, but the Navy, or at least the Seals, does a deep-dive into your history. Browsing through my medical files, they found notations about the donor surgery and questioned me. It took some convincing, but at the time, I had no idea what they were talking about, so they dug a little deeper and found everything for me: Daniel’s birth and death certificate, his obituary, which only has Maddie and my parents listed.”
“Wait. Back up, you were a seal?” Eddie demanded, “How did I not know that?”
“I’m not allowed to talk about most of it, and the one time I mentioned it, I left Bobby thinking I washed out.” He snorted bitterly, “It does show he didn’t read my file or know anything about the military. I made the mistake of saying I washed out after Hell Week, which isn’t exactly possible. I would still have had to serve the terms of my contract. Even if that meant riding a desk for four years.”
Eddie blinked and then blinked again, pointing at him, “We’ll go back to the Seals. Explain the Chimney thing. You said he blabbed to the bomber?”
Shoulders dropping, Buck nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t make the connection until way later, but the guy made a comment when he came out, and it bugged me at the time, but I….” He trailed off and sighed, “Even disregarding Chimney’s inability to keep a secret, he’s now repeating the bullsh*t he pulled in the events that led up to the lawsuit, and I hate it. I can’t do anything about it because no one’s listening to me. They’re all more concerned with the ‘stress’ Maddie’s under and calling me immature because I won’t ‘just’ get over this massive secret.” Buck set the clean board back down and pulled out the vegetables, “everyone is great at offering condolences on a brother I never knew. Still, no one is looking at how absolutely f*cked up this is.”
A solid weight pressed against his side, a warm hand laying on top of his to stop the momentum of the knife, making Buck blink, startled and embarrassed at the tears that spilled down his cheeks. “I had a nickname in school. My Mom heard it once and threw an epic fit. It was also the same day she stopped speaking to me, and I took to wearing that name as a badge of honour, only dropping it when I left the Seals.”
Eddie opened his mouth and shut it helplessly, indecision spreading across his face. It made Buck smile sadly, “See, I grew up in a household where I felt invisible, unseen and unheard, so I started calling myself Casper. I became so good at being a ghost no one heard me coming.”
Buck wiped his face free of tears and heaved a sigh, “I just want someone to see me and go, ‘that’s not okay’.”
Calloused hands cupped his face, brushing the tears from his cheeks, Eddie’s face a picture of heartbreak, “I’ve always seen you. You aren’t-. “he cut himself off, unable to complete the thought and brushed away another rebellious tear that slid down Buck’s face. “I never want to go a day where I don’t, and it’s not okay.”
Sniffing, Buck rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, “We’ve seriously got to not do this.” Buck reached over, grabbed a piece of paper towel and blew his nose, “But thanks, Eds. It- I don’t even know how to explain how much that means to me.”
Eddie opened his mouth to respond, but Chris’s voice called from his bedroom, and he sighed, “We can finish this later, alright?”
Nodding, Buck squeezed Eddie’s hands and watched as Eddie moved through the kitchen, informing Chris he was on the way.
Taking an unsteady breath, Buck released it slowly, returned to the vegetables and resumed assembling their dinner.
***
(**Gabriella Ramirez was a strikingly beautiful twenty-year-old with the haunted look of a woman constantly looking over her shoulder, and for good reason. She stood at five foot two inches, with thick waist-length hair with enough curl to give it a wild, untamed appearance. Classical heart-shaped face shape, with green eyes framed by thick, almost unnatural, long eyelashes. Gabriella was the type of beauty that didn’t need enhancement of makeup. She claimed that she only used sunscreen outside of cleaning products in twenty years of life, but only after moving to LA. She dressed conservatively for her age, but given her tragic circ*mstances that can be forgiven, the idea that she didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention given what happened.**)
***
Later turned out to be after dinner and a movie, the two men lounging on the couch after Chris had gone to bed.
The TV was still on, but on the weather channel, the sound muted as they sat silently.
“The court date is on Friday,” Eddie said softly, eyes fixed on the TV.
It took a second for Buck’s brain to catch up, and he glanced at Eddie, “yeah?”
Nodding, Eddie ran a hand down his face, “Yeah, at ten in the morning.”
“So barring any run-over, you’ll be in time after shift.” Buck stated, then frowned, “is Pepa-“
“She is aware. She told me to take care of it so it’s not hanging over my head.” Eddie sighed, head dropping to the back of the couch, “I figure once I get the keys, I can head over and look and see what’s needed before I have a realtor brought in.”
Buck licked his lips and shifted on the couch until he faced Eddie, “do you want me to go with you?”
Eddie shrugged, “I should be able to do it alone.”
“But you don’t have to. Get your parents out of your head. It’s alright to ask for support, Eds.” Buck stated softly, resting his arm off the back of the couch, his fingers just out of reach of Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie groaned, scrubbing at his face, “I know, I know that. I just…. Family should support you, right?” He sighed, slouching in his seat, angling his body to Buck until Buck could run his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “But My Mom is intent on getting under my skin and tearing me down. She called before I checked the mail, demanding to know when I would finally be moving home now that Shannon’s estate had been closed.”
Confused, Buck blinked and opened his mouth, but Eddie kept talking. “I never understood her hatred of Shannon; looking back now, that’s what it was. She loathed Shannon, and I can’t figure out why.”
“Does it matter why?” Buck finally asked, “You’re probably never going to get an answer, and it could be as simple as she never viewed Shannon as good enough for you.”
“Maybe.” Eddie conceded, “But mom always accused her of being greedy and grasping, putting herself above her station, and it just doesn’t make sense.”
Buck’s opinion of Helena Diaz couldn’t get much worse; he already despised her based on her treatment of Eddie and Chris, but this was about Shannon. He shook his head. “Okay, I’m just rolling here, so stop me if I’m wrong, but your mom’s white, right?”
Nodding, Eddie sighed, “Yeah, her family’s Swedish, Andersson, the most common last name available.”
“And Shannon?” Buck asked.
“Anglo Saxon.” Eddie offered, “She did a research paper in college that traced her family’s origins back to a thousand AD.” A soft smile crossed Eddie’s face, “I can remember Shannon freaking out, either at every new piece of information or trying to compile it all. It ended up being this massive undertaking, and her professor was so impressed by her work that he sent it off to be verified independently.”
Buck paused and frowned, “that’s actually pretty f*cking cool. I don’t have anything like that. Honestly, I’m not even sure I knew what my grandparent’s names are.” He waved Eddie off when he offered him a sad look, “My trauma can wait. Back to Shannon, I assume because you went through probate that there’s money involved?”
Snorting, Eddie nodded, “Quite a bit, actually. I didn’t even know Shannon had come from money. We never really discussed money, even after we married. My paychecks went into the family account, with some split into a savings account.” He sighed, rubbed a finger under his eye, and cleared his throat, “the first time I ever learned there might be money was after Shannon left. Mom had convinced me to go to the bank to ensure ‘my money’ was safe.” He grimaced in embarrassment, “In hindsight, I owe the bank manager a huge thank-you and apology. He refused to let my Mom back, informing her that her name wasn’t on the accounts, so he couldn’t share my private information. I found out why, and it was because Shannon had no intention of taking my money. She’d added to it, putting two hundred thousand in the savings account. The manager, Pedro, insisted that Shannon hadn’t wanted my parents to know, and I was so stunned that I agreed.” He closed his eyes and admitted in a small voice, “In the end, I was glad I never let them know. It’s what allowed me to leave Texas in the end anyway.”
Buck froze, every cell alert as he gazed at Eddie, and asked cautiously, “What do you mean?”
A bitter laugh escaped Eddie, “When I planned to leave El Paso, I started looking over my finances. I didn’t want to touch the savings if I didn’t need to. I was saving that for Chris. But going through my monthly statements, I noticed two monthly payments that made no sense but would have equalled the previous mortgage payment, but it was being put in an account that was not the mortgage company, so I dug deeper.”
“Eddie….” Buck’s tone was tight with dread, and he slowly shook his head, “Tell me they didn’t….” He trailed off at the stern look on Eddie’s face.
“That my parents managed to ‘buy’ my house and continued charging me rent? Yeah, no can do. When I confronted my Mom, she didn’t even deny it. She seemed proud of it. claimed it was to protect me from Shannon’s evil mechanics and that the monthly payments were put in an account for when I needed it.” Eddie sighed and shifted again until he was lying down, with his head in Buck’s lap, “I asked for the money, and my Mom demanded to know why. I told her I’d been accepted to the academy, and she threw a fit, claiming I was stealing her baby and that I’d never see a single cent from her if I took him away.”
“Jesus Christ.” Buck breathed, hand tightening in Eddie’s hair, “How much…”
“Money we talking about? About thirty thousand, give or take.” He gave another laugh, “Mom thought she’d won, and I let her think that I didn’t have the spoons to do anything but leave. I was methodical in that, too, treating it like a military operation of utmost security. Abuela and Pepa worked out things on this end, and I worked on the Texas end, packing up and donating sh*t. The day the ‘rent’ payment,” Eddie raised his hands and crooked his fingers like quotations, “was supposed to come out, I put a stop payment on it, transferred the funds and closed the account from a hotel room in Austin. I never told them I was leaving until it was too late, and I was already here in LA.”
“f*ck. Eddie, that’s horrible.” Buck whispered.
“Eh, it worked out in the end, but the silence was great until Shannon died. Mom acted like her silent treatment was punishment, though she used Dad as a mouthpiece to say everything she wanted. I just let it go in one ear and out the other.” Eddie responded dryly with an amused huff that ended on a bitter note, “but now that probates finished, she’s started acting like my rebellious phase is over, and she’s expecting me to give up and move home. Chris is obviously supposed to live with them, and I’m to get a room somewhere else because they ended up giving the home to Sophia in the end.”
Buck frowned, fingers slowing as he thought over what Eddie had said, and cleared his throat awkwardly, “Eddie, you said your mom called before you got the mail?”
“Yeah, what of it?” Eddie said, tipping his head back to look up at Buck.
“How did she know about the probate date before you?” Buck asked slowly, not wanting to alarm Eddie but needing to make Eddie question it.
Eddie froze, mouth open, eyes widening in shock as he sat up, “Buck?”
Shifting forward, Buck grabbed Eddie’s hand as the former medic’s eyes darted around in fear, “Look, I don’t know how or why, but what I can do is contact my lawyer, Jenni Davison, of Davison and Seville and-“
“I can’t afford them, Buck. They’re like one of the biggest law firms in LA!” Eddie protested, eyes wild, “Plus, the court date is Friday; it’s Tuesday- what are they going to be able to do in three days?”
Buck gripped Eddie’s hand tight, sliding the other up to curl around the side of Eddie’s neck, and forced him to make eye contact, “I’ll pay for it, and Jenni might not be able to do anything, but it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion.”
Inhaling shakily, Eddie shook his head, “I can’t-“
“You can,” Buck argued, voice lowering until it was soft and pleading. “Let me do this for you, and if you need to pay me back, it is after it’s over. But you need someone who can’t be bought or blackmailed.”
Eddie closed his eyes, “Maybe it’s punishment. I changed the lawyer after Shannon’s death because my dad convinced me to use theirs. Claimed you can trust family like they hadn’t already betrayed me.”
“Eds, it’s not punishment. It’s your mother’s pathology need for control.” Buck said finely, punctuating it with a gentle squeeze.
A sad sort of smile crossed Eddie’s face, and he sighed heavily, dropping his head to Buck’s shoulder, yawning, muttering sadly, “Yeah, I guess I just don’t understand this need to control ‘my’ life. She’s not like this with my sisters. She bought Adriana’s car, funded her secondary education before cutting contact with her, and then gifted Sophia my house, complete with ribbon cutting ceremony and a transference of the deed.”
“Okay, I think that’s enough emotional upheaval for the night. Let’s get you to bed, yeah?” Buck whispered, trying to control his heartbeat as Eddie’s breath ghosted along his skin.
Nodding, Eddie shuffled closer and whispered, “You said I can ask you anything?”
“Hmm.” Buck agreed with a hum, “Anything you need.”
Eddie swallowed hard enough that Buck heard him and shifted until he raised his head, “Would you- would you sleep next to me like we did at the loft?”
Feeling trapped, Buck blinked and blinked again, swallowing just as hard as Eddie had. Eddie’s bed was much smaller than his California-king, and they hadn’t kept within personal boundaries during the height of COVID. There were nights and mornings Buck would wake up wrapped around Eddie, or vice versa, but Buck said nothing, and if Eddie was upset enough to ask for that comfort, Buck would give it. “Sure, we can, ah, do that.” Buck swallowed again, trying not to make it weird, but failed seeing the regret shimmer across Eddie’s face. “Don’t regret asking, please. I just- I wasn’t expecting that question already. If you want me to sleep next to you, that’s okay. If you want me to cuddle your ass, I can do that too. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
A faint blush climbed down Eddie’s cheeks, flushing his neck, and he shrugged, “Not uncomfortable, and I want it to be cuddled, please.”
Smiling shyly, Buck nodded towards the hall, “You go get ready, and I’ll clean up and be right in.”
Eddie nodded without protest, telling Buck how upset and disturbed he was. Sitting there for a long second, Buck silently vowed he’d do anything to protect Eddie and Chris from whatever sh*t Helena would pull next.
***
(**Gabriella grew up in a large family. The family numbered over a hundred people. Remember, this is a Mexican family, spanning years and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and the like.
Gabriella was born to Juanita and Pablo Ramirez in 1970, the younger sister of Edmundo Ramirez, who was born in 1966. Tragedy struck the family the first time in 1972 when Pablo died of an undisclosed illness; the second tragedy took place in 1975 when Juanita passed away (unknown reason). The siblings were then adopted by her sister, their aunt, Mariana and Emmanuel Lopez, who loved those children, the couple never having surviving children.**)
***
In the morning, Buck woke up lying on his back, Eddie half sprawled across his chest, head nestled right in the corner of his neck, one arm and leg thrown over him, keeping him pinned. Which- well. It was paradise, and hell rolled into one, in this little bedroom in a corner of LA. He could feel every breath Eddie took, puffing along his skin, causing goosebumps, his morning wood feeling like it was stretching just to feel the muscles in Eddie’s leg that was just out of touch. But if Eddie moved his leg, he’d instantly know there was a problem; there was no practical way to hide his feelings, and it definitely wasn’t platonic.
“You want me to move?” Eddie asked, making Buck jolted, slamming his eye shut. Trying to hide his embarrassment, he had to swallow the groan and fight his hips from pushing up against the pressure as Eddie slid his leg lower, covering his erection.
Buck’s mouth fell open as Eddie shifted, pressing down, his own hips pushing against Buck’s side, his own erection evident, musing slowly, “I feel like we could have had so many more convenient timeframes to discuss this.”
“Discuss what?” Buck squeaked, hands clamping on Eddie’s thigh, forcing him to stay still.
Eddie snorted and raised his head, “If you’re about to try and convince me this isn’t based on mutual attraction, I’m kicking you out of this bed.” A soft look crossed Eddie’s face as his hand came up and cupped Buck’s cheek, “if you really don’t want this or want to wait, that’s fine too.”
“Eds….” Buck trailed off, tears filling his eyes, “Of course I want this. I - I didn’t think you did.”
A decrepit laugh escaped Eddie, and he shook his head, “I’ve wanted you for years, but the timing never worked out or felt right. Then you stood up to my parents; I’ve never had someone do that. I was determined to ask you on a date when we got home, but you seemed preoccupied with something, and then Maddie dropped her bomb….” He trailed off and sighed, “And now I have my sh*t going on.”
Buck frowned, trying to remember he knew he’d been preoccupied with something stranger at Eddie’s parent’s house, but then the argument with his parents drove it out of his head, and with the pressure against his co*ck right now, he was having difficulty focussing. Buck shook his head to get back on track and lifted an eyebrow, “are you trying to talk yourself out of this?”
“No. Maybe? I don’t know.” Eddie admitted, “Is it really fair to start something when our attentions are divided, and on top of that, you shouldn’t have to be put between whatever sh*t my parents pull.”
Buck made a face and shrugged, “If we wait for no outside distractions, we’ll be waiting forever. As for your parents? Who cares? I certainly don’t. As I told them in October, only two people could get me to step back.” He paused and licked his lips, expression hopeful, “I’m really hoping that you want to draw me closer and not let go.”
Eddie leaned down, jerking as his alarm sounded and rolled quickly, turning it off and collapsing against the bed with a groan as Buck started to snicker. “I see what you mean about a more convenient timing.”
Huffing, Eddie turned his head, “Laugh it up, I really wanted to kiss-.”
Buck surged forward, sealing his mouth over Eddie’s, eyes sliding shut, as Eddie threaded his hand through Buck’s hair to keep him in place.
Buck moaned in his throat, deepening the kiss, uncaring about their morning breath as he slipped his tongue inside.
It was a short, x-rated make-out session that ended with both panting, hands groping at whatever skin they could reach.
Buck slowly lifted his head, licking his lips to chase the taste of Eddie and blinked, taking in the dazed and wrecked expression on Eddie’s face. “Wow…..”
A slow, giddy grin crossed Eddie’s face that echoed on Buck’s as Buck leaned down again, rubbed his nose along Eddie’s, and then groaned a laugh as the alarm sounded. “Our timing for epic conversation and confessions needs work.”
A bark of laughter escaped Eddie as he reached over and snapped the alarm off, sighing as Buck rolled over and sat up. “You want pancakes or French toast?”
“Oh, French toast, you haven’t done that for a while.” Eddie requested, sitting up and rubbing a hand down his face.
Buck snorted, “Yeah because you have a pint-size pancake addict in the other room.”
“Whom you love to spoil.” Eddie retorted and rose, leaning over to fix the blankets.
Buck followed suit and flashed him a grin, a flush climbing on his cheeks, “Of course, I love to spoil him, but I could be persuaded to spoil you today.”
Eddie groaned, burying his flushed face in his pillow he’d been in the middle of fluffing, “Stop flirting with me and go make me breakfast.”
Buck moved around the bed, plastering himself against Eddie’s back, nuzzled his cheek, pressing a soft kiss to his neck and skipped from the room.
***
(**For a time, everything was fine within the family. There were more marriages, births and deaths, Emmanuel’s grandfather passing away in 1985 of what was determined to be a heart attack.
Sadly, in 1987, a tale all too common, Gabriella, the only family member to attempt to complete an education living in Mexico, was being escorted home from the local school by her brother Edmundo when the cartel stopped them. After a brief encounter that turned violent, Edmundo was executed, and Gabriella was then gang raped.**)
***
By the time Eddie got himself and Chris ready, and in the kitchen, Buck was pulling a stack of French toast the height of the bread bag from the oven.
It made Eddie’s heart fluttery wildly at the look of intense concentration as he manoeuvred the platter of French toast and a bowl of bacon onto the table, his lips pursed.
Chris opened his mouth to exclaim over the lack of pancakes but quickly shut it, seeing the iPods at the same time as Eddie, so the boy sighed but gamely settled into the chair as Buck paused what Eddie assumed was a podcast and took out the pods, with a grin. “Sorry, it’s a weirdly short and oddly confusing but fascinating story,” Buck said, sliding the AirPods into the charging case, snagging the bowl of cut-up fruit and sliding into his chair.
“What’s it about, Buck?” Chris asked, nodding as Eddie held up the milk container.
Buck eyed Eddie cautiously before answering Chris, “It’s not a fun or happy tale, Bud. It’s about a thirty-year-old unsolved murder.”
Chris slumped, gamely chewing his French toast before responding, “Yeah, that is sad. Why is it still unsolved?”
Hesitating again, Buck looked at Eddie, who looked back at him passively and nodded.
It probably shouldn’t be discussed with Chris, but unfortunately, Chris understood the concept of death in a way a child his age shouldn’t be aware of. But between Shannon’s death and the tsunami a few months later, and by association with Buck and Eddie’s job, Chris had a front seat to the destruction humans could wreak on one another. It was something they had learned with therapy they couldn’t hide. Treating the concept with respect and dignity was the only way to mitigate the anxiety Chris had started to exhibit in the middle of COVID.
Buck swallowed his mouthful before answering, “I don’t know yet. I just started it.” He paused, sipped his orange juice, and admitted, “It’s odd, though, they changed or omitted names, claiming that one of the principal parties wants to forget that time of their life.” Buck popped a piece of bacon in his mouth, eyes suspiciously bright, “it feels disrespectful and oddly familiar how connected I feel to this victim. It’s another person whose family wants to forget they exist.”
“Carińo,” Eddie spoke softly, reaching across the table to squeeze Buck’s hand, who froze, eyes wide as they darted between Eddie and Chris, who was watching with a hint of hope building in his eyes.
Eddie flushed but kept his gaze on Chris, who licked his lips, wiped his face with the back of his hand, and resumed eating, happily swinging his legs as he chewed.
Eyeing the boys' easy compliance, Buck cleared his throat, wincing as it cracked, but flipped his hand around to link Eddie’s fingers. Buck exhaled, “You alright with this, bud?”
Head bobbing vigorously, Chris chewed and swallowed, “Yes! It’s like Christmas came early, I’ve wanted it forever and ever.”
Eddie relaxed and exhaled, returning the pressure as Buck squeezed his hand. “We’re glad, but we-.” Eddie stopped and swallowed, eyes darting to Buck’s face, who returned his regard and nodded encouragement. “For now, we want to keep it to ourselves, so we ask that you not tell anyone.”
Chris’s face fell, and his eyes darted between them again, “why not?”
Buck sighed, setting his fork down, “So it’s a little complicated, but Eddie and I just started discussing this. We have boundaries and conversations that still need to be worked on before allowing others outside our personal relationships the right to view it.” Buck paused and added, “We want to be established before people who think they have the right to interfere or question us.”
A little furrow wrinkled Chris’s brow before he nodded slowly, “I guess that makes sense, and if everyone knew about your relationship, they would use it as a deflection on the issues surrounding your right not wanting to talk to them.”
Startled, Buck straightened and questioned, “How do you know about that?”
Chris grinned and shrugged. “I got ears.”
Eddie cleared his throat, making Chris flush and duck his head, admitting softly, “Denny told me, said he heard his moms arguing about it, and Ms.Karen told Ms.Hen off. Said Hen had no business interfering and pressuring you to forgive Maddie for hiding your brother, and then try to act like you were the problem when you asked for space to process.” Chris took a sip of his milk and then added, “she also told Hen that Maddie brought the stress in herself for inviting her parents, when they hadn’t shown much interest in either of their children before this. She also added that if she heard anything like the whisper campaign leading up to the lawsuit, she’d make an anonymous complaint, saying Chimney had no right to bring a personal and private family matter into a workplace, making it a hostile work environment.”
Horrified and oddly touched, Buck’s eyes flicked to Eddie’s, who was regarding him softly with a hint of regret, the look growing as Chris spoke again.
“What lawsuit were they talking about? Cause Denny didn’t know, and I want to be able to share something for once.”
Buck inhaled sharply, words caught in his throat as his eyes snapped to Eddie’s. Watching Eddie’s expression fall, Buck trembled, hating that time of his life and what it had almost cost him. Sometimes, he wished he’d just listened to Bobby; maybe if he had, Bobby would have been more willing to do something about his situation now.
“Do you remember when I kept making excuses for Buck not coming around after the tsunami?” Eddie asked suddenly, making Buck jerk.
Chris narrowed his eyes and held up a hand, “Yeah, and you promised never to do that again.”
“And I meant that promise, Buck isn’t going anywhere. What I didn’t tell you was I was being a very good friend. I didn’t understand what Buck was going through.” Eddie sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, “See, Buck was being prevented from returning to work, and he hired someone that was fighting for him and his right to return to work. Because of that, I wasn’t allowed to talk to him, and it hurt.”
Chris’s frown increased, and he glanced at Buck, “Why weren’t you allowed to work?”
Buck sighed and admitted, “People ignored the multiple doctor's reports that cleared me because they didn’t think I was ready to return after the leg injury and the blood clots.”
“But- but you did everything the doctors said. You even fired one when they tried to push you further than you wanted, not wanting to risk further injury.” Chris protested, face twisting. “then you saved all those people during the tsunami!” Chris added angrily, “You weren’t being reckless.”
“Hey, Chris, calm down, bud.” Buck pushed back his chair, turning Chris to face him, “Why are you getting upset? This- the lawsuit is old news.”
Sniffling, Chris wiped his nose, a flush climbing his cheeks as Buck ‘tssked’ softly and handed him a napkin, then waited for Chris to respond.
Once Chris blew his nose, he twisted the napkin nervously, “Well, if they’re doing a whisper campaign again, that means you’ll leave, right? I don’t want you to go.”
Sighing, Buck exchanged a glance with Eddie before nudging Chris’s chin up, “Like your dad said, I’m not going anywhere. We’re making plans for a future that includes the three of us, so if any decisions that affect all of us need to be made, we’ll sit down and discuss it like a family, alright?”
Chris sniffled again and glanced between the two men, “promise?”
Buck rested his elbow on the table and held up his pinkie, ignoring the flare of mourning that swam underneath the surface. He kept his face serious, “I’ll do you one better, the famous Buckley pinkie promise. It can’t be broken for any reason.”
A hesitant, hopeful expression crossed Chris’s face as he gamely tried to copy Buck and then glanced at his dad, “Daddy?”
Eddie eyed Buck carefully but shifted around the table until he had his elbow planted with his pinkie up, the three of them linking them together in an odd arrangement, but for some reason, as the grin of delight spread across Chris’s face, Buck felt better about a pinkie promise then he had in a long time. He swore silently that he’d never break one because Buck refused to shatter Chris’s heart like he had been.
***
Chapter 2
Chapter Text
(**Shortly after that, Gabriella met the oldest son(1956) of Isabella Lopez, a non-blood relative, but relative all the same, as she was Emmanuel’s sister, who immigrated to America in the early 50s, married her then-husband Javier and had two children, the oldest of which is the tragic sacrificial lamb of this tale. What is unclear here is whether that upstanding American knew the sad story. However, there is the belief and understanding he knew of Gabriella’s grievous attack and resulting pregnancy. He sacrificed his life to provide Gabriella with a better - somewhat safer life for her and her child in America. He married and brought her to fifteen Ross Ave, in Los Angeles, California, as his eighteen-year-old bride. Which unfortunately put to rest his intentions of continuing his interest in other areas of his romantic life.**)
After getting Chris set up for his Zoom classes, Buck ambled back to the kitchen and found Eddie typing with someone furiously, a little furrow on his brow. Their eyes met, and Eddie flushed and admitted, “Karen. I kind of wanted to know what she knew.”
Buck nodded and sighed, “And let me guess, half was incomplete information that Hen should have shared?”
Snorting, Eddie nodded, “Yeah, apparently, she and Athena have been discussing it and have come to the realization that they’ve been provided with inaccurate and incomplete info, and the two have been compiling to see what matches.”
Buck winced and swallowed, “I can’t say I’m surprised. Bobby tells Athena what he thinks he can get away with, and Hen only the juicy bits that she finds intriguing, but it all ends up in the same place. I’m the one in the wrong.” Buck sighed and ran a hand down his face, “It’s like they sometimes actively go out of their way to make my life harder, and I don’t get it. They both judge me for sh*t that happened my first year and can’t get past that - hell, they never even asked what I was going through. They just assumed I was a f*ck boy, and that version stuck. It’s why I’ve never come out to them verbally at work. Their opinion of me was already low. Why would I make it harder on myself.”
Eddie glanced at his phone when it vibrated but quickly met his gaze again and licked his lips, “do you want to share what was going on during your probationary year?”
Shrugging, Buck walked to the coffee pot and refilled his mug, “I was spiralling, involuntarily medical severance from the Seals. A bad op in Peru left me injured, but the recovery time outweighed my remaining contract, and I could have fought it. But at that point, I was just kind of down with it all and the Wizard I was seeing recommended the LAPD or similar for reemergence into civilian life.” Buck shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, “it was a bit of a struggle, and no one seemed to care.”
Eddie blinked at the phrase ‘the wizard’ and then laughed, “Oh Dios, I’m an idiot.”
Buck raised an eyebrow though a smile threatened, “And why would that be Edmundo?”
“Because it’s not the first time you’ve referred to a psychologist as ‘the wizard’.” He laughed again, “And I’m pretty sure if I racked my brain, I would find more references.”
Buck smiled and leaned against the counter, “I’m not mad that you didn’t catch it. At first, I did it to f*ck with you, just to see what you would do, but honestly, I’m kind of glad you never really caught on. If you had questioned it, I’m not sure if I would have been honest if you’d done it around the others.”
Eddie nodded, his amusem*nt fading as he regarded Buck silently, “Do I owe you an apology for everything that happened during the lawsuit?”
Tensing at the question, Buck swallowed and bowed his head, asking softly, “Will you finally accept my apology?”
Startled, Eddie reared back, “what? No, you don’t have anything to apologize for Buck.” Eddie swallowed and leaned forward, cupping Buck’s hands, “Listen, I was an ass and reacted badly when I couldn’t talk to you, but knowing what I know now….” Eddie sighed heavily, “You were right to file, and I’m kind of mad that you lost.”
Buck started and lifted his head, confusion making him frown, “Eds, I technically didn’t lose the lawsuit.”
Mouth falling open, Eddie shook his head, “that’s not what Bobby said. He said- he said that the case was dropped because, because….” He trailed off and shook his head, brow furrowing angrily.
“Eds.” Buck said softly, raising a hand to smooth the furrow, “It honestly doesn’t matter what Bobby told everyone. Whatever lets him sleep at night is his business.”
“It’s not right!” It burst out of Eddie, desperation making his breath come in tight little puffs, “He-he effectively cut me off from one of my main supports and made you look like the bad guy. It’s like he used my background against me, knowing I’d automatically listen and not question ranked command.”
A look of disgust flashed across Buck’s face, and he sighed, “Okay, well, in part, Bobby is correct that the lawsuit was dropped, but I dropped it. I turned down the money offered by the department in exchange for my job back, plus a few other things. I had the option of transferring stations, and I almost took it, but in a perverse reaction, I wanted to prove I could do my job without letting what happened affect me.”
Eddie’s face went white, “they offered to settle?”
Nodding, Buck leaned back in his chair, “Yeah, five million dollars, which would have meant that Bobby would have lost his job, the 118 would probably have been closed, and those deemed cleared by a psychologist shuffled into other stations. The ‘wheel’ Bobby built would have been broken, and I would have been blacklisted by every department across America, even though I won. The plus, negative gain wasn’t worth the hassle of starting over.” Buck paused and admitted, “I didn’t want to start over without you and Chris. At the time, the only thing I saw was getting back what we had, so I took one for the team.”
“Evan….” Eddie whispered hoarsely and sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand like Chris had earlier.
The action was so shockingly identical that Buck burst out laughing, grabbed a napkin and handed it over, “Look, what happened then was a situation outside of our making. If you need my forgiveness for what you did at someone else’s manipulation, you have it, but you must accept my apology for not talking to you first. Jenni told me I should, but I was too wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself and already feeling pushed aside by Bosko, so I acted out.” Buck stated softly, cupping Eddie’s cheek and brushing the tear that slid down it. “I want a commitment that we talk things out before reacting from now on, alright? We can always depend on each other if we can do that.”
Sniffling again, Eddie nodded hastily, hand coming up to curl around Buck’s wrist, “Yeah, let’s do that. When I left the military, I swore that I wouldn’t blindly just obey an order, and I kind of did that anyway, so I am sorry for not asking questions before the lawsuit and just following Bobby’s lead like a sheep.”
“Then we both do better going forward, sweetheart,” Buck whispered, nosing and pressing a soft, chaste kiss to Eddie’s temple. “I want to do better by you and for you, okay?”
“I do, too, Evan.” Eddie whispered, squeezing his wrist, “Please, we have to do better. I- I failed Shannon so much. I couldn’t bear it if I failed you too.”
Buck’s heart clenched a little at Shannon’s name, making him press another kiss to Eddie’s forehead, “I don’t know all the details of your first marriage, but it wasn’t just your fault. It was hers, too. Communication works both ways, right?”
“Yeah, I know. But I sometimes feel like because I reached out to Shanon, it caused her death.” He shook his head and gave a self-deprecated laugh, “I mean if I hadn’t, she’d never have asked for a divorce, and she wouldn’t have been in the crosswalk that day.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Eds. You know that.” Buck whispered sadly, feeling guilty that Eddie had felt like this.
“I know that.” Eddie stressed, smiling weakly, “But it doesn’t help the thoughts that run through my head.” He paused, closed his eyes briefly, and then opened them, admitting, “It would piss my parents off if they knew, but I’ve been seeing a therapist again. Of my own free will, I know I saw one after the lawsuit, which I assume was part of the conditions you had in place on coming back. I admit it helped, but I only ever did the bare minimum because I had my parents in the back of my head.” Eddie paused and winced, “Sorry for the word vomit. It’s not been long, only since we returned from Texas, but I’m working on it.”
Eyes shining with pride, Buck smiled, “That’s amazing, and I’m so proud of you.”
Eddie met his gaze shyly, “yeah?”
“Yeah,” Buck whispered, leaning forward, licking his lips hesitantly, inhaling a surprised breath as Eddie completed the lean, pressing their lips together.
Buck’s phone ringing jarred them both, and they pulled back breathless with laughter and longing as they sighed.
Reaching over, Buck picked up his phone, peeking up instantly, and answered on the second ring, “Hey Jenni, thanks for getting back to me so quickly.”
Jenni’s silently accented voice filtered out through the speaker, “Well, it intrigued me to get an email outlining what amounts to extortion, fraud, embezzlement, parent alienation and a whole slew of other potential problems that I made my coffee and called you as I sat back down.”
Buck smiled and leaned back in the chair, hitting the speaker as he spoke. “I’m going to put you on speaker and let you speak with Eddie, my partner. I’ll pay the retainer, but as a reminder, he is supposed to be in court Friday morning at 10.”
Jenni hummed, “That’s fine. I’ll just ask a few preliminary questions. Your full name is Edmundo Javier Diaz? Do you prefer Eddie?”
Eddie nodded and then flushed, sitting forward, “Yes.”
The lawyer seemed to smile through the phone, her amusem*nt laced in her tone, “Buck sent me some information, but what I need from you, if you’re amenable, is all your paperwork from the lawyer - including the probate papers, bank recordings, your current lease or rental agreement, or deed if you own the house, the paperwork for the house in Texas if you still have it, and come to my office today, if noon works?”
Startled, Eddie's eyes darted to Buck, who nodded encouragingly, “Yeah, that’s- I can do that.”
“ Oh, also all the paperwork concerning your son, prenup or prior custody agreement if one was in place, medical files, and if you have one, a copy of your will. Considering what your lawyer appears to have allowed to happen, I want to know its wording so it doesn’t give anyone any wiggle room.” Jenni ordered, taping at a few keys, “is that acceptable?”
Stunned, Eddie nodded, “Yeah, that’s- that’s more than acceptable.”
“Perfect, your email is Edmundo-dot-diaz at iCloud-dot-com?”
“Yes, it is.” Eddie agreed, looking around the room frantically.
“Great, I'll email a list of what I need today and what I want before Thursday. I’ll see you today at noon, Eddie. Bye, Buck.” Jenni said, voice already distracted.
“Later, Jenni and thanks!” Buck called before hitting the end button, regarding Eddie with a steady gaze as he slumped in his seat.
Eddie stared back, standing slowly until he was leaning over Buck, “I know I need some work. I’m working through it with therapy. I’ve had two serious relationships with women, though I'm unsure how seriously you can consider a girlfriend from junior high to middle high school. I fooled around a bit when in the army before Shannon, but it was labelled as blowing off steam. It didn’t mean much, and then Shannon. I loved her, of course, and yes, she hurt me, but I know I hurt her too. I let my mom poison me against her early on in her abandonment that I never really gave her a chance when she came back.” Eddie paused and then blew out a breath, “though truthfully that wasn’t because of what happened exactly, but because you step up and in. You’ve had my back from practically the beginning, and I craved that.
I’m in this for the long haul, so if that’s not something you’re on board with, then we need to discuss-“
“I wanna marry you!” Buck blurted and flushed, almost violently as he cut Eddie off, then added, “Not that, that was the proposal. I have a plan. Or will have a plan, but yeah, I totally want to marry you.”
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” Eddie said simply, grinning stupidly and stunningly as he leaned dangerously over Buck.
Breathlessly, Buck gazed up at Eddie, one hand coming up to clench Eddie’s thigh, the other his waist and licked his lips, “That wasn’t the proposal Eds.”
Eddie flushed and shrugged, “I still said yes, and I don’t need a proposal. I just want you.”
“You know, we’re doing this whole relationship thing out of order,” Buck whispered, thumb ghosting under Eddie’s shirt.
“I don’t care. I kind of feel like we’ve been something for years anyway.” Eddie whispered back, lowering his head. Their lips met for a second before Eddie’s phone chimed, making Buck smile and then giggle as it rang a second time. Eddie sighed and peeked his lips once more before straightening, “I’m going to start on that paperwork. You cool to watch Chris?”
“Always,” Buck stated softly, squeezing Eddie’s side before releasing him, then tapped his ass because he could. “Now go, adult, you’re distracting me.”
A look of mock offence crossed Eddie’s face, but either at the words or Buck’s actions, he didn’t know because Buck’s phone rang, interrupting them again. Glancing down, Buck sighed, meeting Eddie’s gaze, who sighed with him and then left the room. Taking a deep breath, Buck reached over, picked up the phone, and answered, “Hey, Athena.”
***
(**For the almost two years the family resided in LA, they lived a calm, quiet life involving a close-knit family atmosphere.
His family consisted of his paternal grandparents, maternal grandmother, parents, sister and her husband, their three children, and the multiple aunts, uncles, and cousins on the paternal side. Gabriella included her aunt-turned-adoptive mother, who tragically passed away shortly after arriving in LA.**)
***
Three hours after his appointment, Eddie was pulling into his driveway in half a daze, feeling like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. It had been like experiencing an episode of Animal Planet where a honey badger takes on a crocodile live and in person instead of through a screen.
Jenni believed it wouldn’t do to alert the lawyer before the date, so Friday would be entertaining. It was almost enough to make him want his parents there. The fact that he was going to blindside them was a delicious feeling he knew he shouldn't revel in, but the blood bath after the fallout would be epic, and his parents wouldn’t know what hit them.
Feeling a rush of giddy fear, Eddie climbed out of the truck, grabbing his files from the back before hipping the door shut, locking it with the fob before hurrying towards the front door.
Holding the files under one arm and unlocking the door with the other, Eddie pushed it open, shut it quickly, locked it, threw the deadbolt and pulled the chain.
Feeling himself flush in embarrassment, Eddie knocked his head against the door and set the files down, trying to wrestle the panic back under control.
“Eds?” Buck’s voice sounded behind him, hesitant and filled with worry, but the shortened form of his name, and something only Buck called him, warmed and relaxed him but didn’t stop the panic.
Turning abruptly, Eddie leaned against the door, “We need to move.”
Only the widening of Buck’s eyes indicated that he hadn’t expected that response, but he didn’t rush forward. Instead, he leaned against the jam, darting a look down the hall to Chris’s half-open doorway and then tilted his head towards the kitchen.
“Go hydrate. I’ll check on Chris and be right there, alright?”
Nodding gratefully, Eddie drew in a deep breath and then another, watching Buck push off the door and walk down the hall, sticking his head inside Chris’s room before his body followed. Eddie stood there for another second, shook his hands, grabbed the files, made his way to the kitchen, and then stood staring into space.
He was so lost he didn’t hear Buck come back, jumping when the door slid shut. Eddie turned, feeling as if he was outside his body, and stared at Buck with wide eyes and repeated himself, “We need to move.”
Buck nodded calmly, moving across the kitchen. Removing a glass from the cupboard, he filled it with water from the fridge and handed it over. “Drink Eds, then tell me what happened.”
Automatically taking the glass, Eddie drank, only realizing how thirsty he was when the water hit his mouth. He drained the glass, then offered it wordlessly, asking for more.
Buck complied, handing the glass back, and leaned against the counter, watching him intently but not prodding.
Sighing, Eddie drank half, then set the glass on the table and sat down, running a hand through his hair, “Jenni’s ruthless and almost psychic; it was bizarre and entirely intimidating.” He paused and added, “She also reads as fast as you.”
Buck smiled, “It’s actually faster. We kind of timed it once. She can read a three-hundred-page book in about an hour and fifteen. It took me an hour and forty.”
Eddie blinked, “you timed how fast you read?” Shaking his head, Eddie had to ask, “Why would you do that with your lawyer?”
Laughing, Buck pushed off the counter and settled on a chair across from Eddie, “She wasn’t my lawyer at the time, or well, I guess she was, but it was a vacation.” At Eddie’s frown, Buck continued, “So Jenni is Adam’s sister; Adam is best friends with Brock or Sly, who married Jenni, and the three of them took over their parent's law firm. Adam and Jenni have a younger brother, Jason, we served together.”
Eddie shook his head, dispelling the confusion as he continued his tale, “Anyway, she’d read each document the lawyer had provided, then ask a question. As we worked through everything, I realized that not only do I not read and confirm my legal documents, which I’m kicking myself for, but my parents have been aware of and probably attempting to combat my plans for a while now.”
Buck’s brow twitched in confusion, but he didn’t speak. Instead, he rose to his feet, got his own glass of water, and sat back down.
“Jenni’s fixing it, along with some wording, and plans to file the appropriate paperwork this week for a court-approved custody evaluator, but it also means I have a confession.” Eddie started and then swallowed, watching Buck as he spoke, “After the well, I changed my will.”
Buck swallowed hard at the reminder, his eyes glossy, but still didn’t say anything, so taking a breath, Eddie added, “If I die or am capacitated in any way, you get legal guardianship of Chris.” He paused and quickly took a sip of water, “having said that, I’ve gone the extra step to have adoption papers done up, and I want you to sign them so we can continue raising our son together.”
“Eds…..” Buck trailed off, staring at him with shining eyes, “you,” he started and then stopped, a tear slipping down his cheek, “I love you.”
Softening at the whisper, a shy smile spread across Eddie’s face. Even with all the confessions and blurted proposal this morning, it was the first time Buck had admitted how he felt in words.
Pushing off the chair, Eddie slid onto Buck’s lap, tilting his face to meet Eddie’s gaze. “I love you too.” Eddie whispered, licking his lips, “I know you said it wasn’t a proposal, but I want that. I want to be married to you.”
“I want that too, Eddie, but….” Buck flushed and asked, “Aren’t we rushing? I don’t want to mess this up with you ever.”
“Cariño, we can’t mess this up.” Eddie traced an invisible path along Buck’s nose and kissed his lips softly, “We’ve had each other’s backs the entire time we’ve known each other. Nothing's going to break us.”
“I never wanted to let it go.” Buck stretched up and kissed him again, tongue tracing the seam of his mouth before pulling back, “what else happened?”
Eddie sighed and rubbed his nose, “My parent's lawyer is Henry Irving, while the lawyer I used was his son, Jeffry Irving. Anything I did through him has been filtered to my parents through misrepresentations and fraud. At some point after Shannon’s death and signing a retainer with Jeffery, my email address was changed without physical verification from me. I’ve used the same email since I got my first iPhone. The paperwork has a different generic email from a Hotmail account.” Eddie shifted, smiling as Buck’s hand slid around his lap to stabilize his weight, and continued, “Now, this is where it gets weird. I never looked at the firm responsible for Janet and Shannon’s estate, but it was apparently Jenni’s firm. Jenni apparently had some weird, tingly feelings with the abrupt severance when I sent over the signed paperwork from the new lawyer, but wisely took a photocopy of everything and retained it with a note. The paperwork and will she has is different than mine, which is not the original. It's also a photocopy. So Jenni suspects that my parents might show up for the probate. What exactly they’re going to attempt to do, Jenni's not sure. Even if they don’t, she expects them to show up shortly after Jeffery informs his father I’ve fired him. Jenni is working on the paperwork to file with the state bar in Texas and California, citing a breach of client-attorney privilege, as there is no working or signed agreement between us that would allow the law firm to share my information. On top of that, she passed on the documents for the house in Texas to Adam, as it involves Title Fraud, Identity Fraud, and potentially money laundering, if not outright theft. The statute of limitations is ten years and is a felony charge if convicted.”
Eddie glanced at his watch and slid off Buck’s lap, moving to the fridge as he continued to talk, “which brings me to my first statement. My parents know where I live; I’m positive they have a key. During the truck bombing and after one of our visits with you at the hospital, I remember getting home to my parents in my house. I questioned it, but my mom brushed me off and said I left the back door unlocked and the alarm disengaged. Which? Whatever, at the time, I was more worried about you and conceded that it was possible it slipped my mind, but the thought doesn’t make me feel safe.”
“So you want to move?” Buck asked calmly, watching as Eddie fixed Chris’s after-school snack.
Eddie relaxed and nodded, “Yeah, ideally, I’d like to be out sooner rather than later, but I know realistically, with everything else going on, that might not be possible.”
Eddie cut up Chris’s apple and added cheese and crackers to the plate, keeping an eye on Buck, who appeared deep in thought. He wasn’t worried about the silence, even before he had the insight to know about Buck’s seal background. The silence had always felt grounding. Now, with that added context, he knew Buck was literally viewing every possible scenario before coming up with a plan.
“We have a couple of options open to us. worst-case scenario, we retreat to the loft, which, while not completely ideal, is not something your parents can access.” Buck began, turning his glass of water with a deep furrow on his brow, “We could look at short-term rentals, like Airbnb’s while looking at other rental options, or….” Buck licked his lips and dropped his gaze, “If we’re doing this thing, we can look at houses and plan for our future.”
Eddie’s eyes snapped up in surprise, though he was unsure why. He wasn’t scared of moving in with Buck. He loved living with him during quarantine. The other two roommates an unwelcome but somewhat necessary evil to keep everyone safe. It wasn’t even the idea of commitment. He’d long been all in on everything Evan Buckley. So maybe it was the possibility of the future - finally getting to have that, even with the nightmare that his parents had created. “I like the last idea.”
A slow smile stretched across Buck’s face, “yeah? You’d like to buy a house with me?”
Eddie nodded, then winced, “I’d love to, but with the court cases, the investigation into my finances, and potential identity theft, I don’t know if I’d even qualify for a mortgage.”
Buck shrugged, “That doesn’t matter, and I’m not trying to dismiss your genuine feelings or concerns, but I could buy a house tomorrow, cash offer, and we could move in thirty days.”
Eddie frowned, “That’s so unfair to you. I want to be equal in this Buck.”
“Eddie, we would be. We can split all the bills equally, and once the mess with the courts is dealt with, we can amend the paperwork to include you, but in the end, it doesn’t matter anyway; if something happens to me, it all becomes yours and Christopher’s anyway.” Buck replied softly and then shrugged as Eddie gaped at him. “My will had you and Chris as my sole beneficiaries, excluding a small portion for Maddie's baby, which can’t be touched until she enters post-secondary school or turns twenty-five.”
Hands shaking, Eddie laid down the knife and curled his fingers around the table's edge. “What? When did you do that?”
Buck shrugged and averted his gaze, “After the ladder truck, I changed and updated my power of attorney and medical proxy…. Which is also you.” Buck whispered, “I didn’t tell anyone because of everything that was going on, and Maddie, well, Maddie’s going to throw a fit either way.”
Taking a breath, Eddie resumed fixing Chris's snack, filled up a flask for his drink and set it to the side before grabbing a snack for them and settling at the table, “why would she throw a fit?”
Buck snagged a piece of apple and chewed slowly, “entitlement? I don’t know, exactly. I assume some of it is wrapped up in Daniel and then in Doug and our parents, but she’s dropped enough comments that she knows about my inheritance and expects it. It’s not overt, and probably what she views as joking, but it’s grasping almost?” He questioned and frowned, “for example, before the bombing, Maddie’s landlord held her secure deposit hostage because of Doug’s attack. I was working on getting it back, which was questioned when we got pulled in for that bank heist, as Maddie’s texts were suggestive enough to imply that I was in on the heist.” He frowned again and then snorted, “which I totally could have done, but anyway, I digress, the point is, Maddie as much as I love her, feels a certain amount of entitlement when it comes to me and my autonomy. It’s like she expects me to cater to her in any and every possible way, and when I don’t, I get this.” He fingered his phone and tapped it, fingers sliding rapidly before passing it to Eddie.
Eddie took it with a frown that rapidly increased at the hostile level in the multiple text messages Buck hadn’t responded to. “I haven’t blocked her or anyone else, but I’ve put them on silent. Call me paranoid, but I want that evidence of what amounts to harassment and intimidation.”
“She wanted you to pay for her car damage?” Eddie asked in confusion, “What’s that about?”
Buck sighed and grabbed another apple slice, “a week and a half before the parents showed up, her car was dinged in the parking lot, but the person responsible drove off without leaving details. She texted me a picture and told me to take care of it because she doesn’t have full coverage.”
“But she and Chimney live on a two-household income.” Eddie protested, already scrolling up to find the picture, his frown growing as he saw it and viewed the damage. “That’s it? It’s not even- it’s a dent and a scratch.”
A chuckle escaped Buck, and he nodded, “Yep, easy to buff out, but she’s acting like the car's structural integrity is now compromised. It’s just how she operates, Eds.”
“So what did you do?” Eddie asked curiously, pushing the phone back across the table.
“I sent her the address of the mechanic I use, but she keeps using excuses as to why she can’t take it in.” Buck replied and locked his phone, “So she keeps texting. I was surprised she didn’t bring it up in front of her parents cause that’s normally what she’d do if I didn’t do what she expected. So I assume she’d already expected the clusterf*ck that visit was and wanted to keep me agreeable.”
Eddie nodded, chewing a piece of cheese, “so the security deposit, what happened there?”
Confused, Buck paused his reach and then laughed, “Oh, she got it back. She panic-stressed over it, texting repeatedly because she needed the deposit for a new place and expected me to hand it over. And I would have lent it, but she never asked, expected it.” He sighed, “It was the same way over the insurance for the jeep. I put the claim in after the tsunami, and she was there the day the cheque came in. Maddie acted like it was her money even though the jeep has been in my name since I got it, and I still have the note where she gave it to me as a gift.“
“Jesus, really? I’m surprised she hasn’t complained about Chimney’s apartment.” Eddie muttered around another piece of cheese.
Buck snorted, “She has, but only when Chimney’s not around. She’ll drop little comments about nesting instincts and how it would be better to have the baby in its own room.” Buck offered another shrug, “I ignore it and get away with it because it’s not something she’s mentioned to Chimney yet, or at least hasn’t managed to get him on her side yet.”
“Like the whisper campaign?” Eddie asked with a grimace, “Yeah, okay, I can see that. Remind me to never tell Chimney a secret.”
Buck laughed, “Honestly, I love the vibe of the 118, and it might just be me, but I wouldn’t trust any of them with a secret. Not even Hen or Bobby. They’ll use what they already know and try to corner you to offer well-meaning advice, or at least that’s been my recent experience.”
Eddie made a face and sighed, “Okay, so back to house hunting. It makes me uncomfortable feeling like there is a financial divide, but I honestly don’t think I can stay here long-term. Not anymore. I feel like my skin's itching, and my neck hairs are permanently raised, so do you want to do that?”
Buck glanced up, biting his lip and nodded, “I’d love that. Do you want to view some houses now, make a list or contact Pepa?”
Startled, Eddie inhaled, “You trust-“ he cut himself off and flushed as Buck covered his hand.
“Eds, there’s no shame in that. Your parents have ruined that trust, so I understand not wanting to rely on family, but Abuela and Pepa won’t turn on you.” Buck stated softly, “They love you and want what’s best for you and Christopher.”
“I know.” Eddie said, rubbing his eyes, “Okay, let’s compile a list of wants and needs, and I’ll call Pepa and arrange a dinner to discuss everything. I should probably alert them to everything that’s happening anyway.”
Buck grinned and jumped to his feet, dropping a kiss to the top of Eddie’s head, “You do that. I’ll check on Chris’s and grab my laptop.“
***
It was by a mutually unspoken agreement that Buck stayed, wordlessly taking over the tasks of organizing their work bags for the morning as Eddie ushered Chris through his bedtime routine. Chris continued to gush about the house-hunting expedition, indicating that he was still excited despite his tiredness. “We need to add a hot tub, daddy.”
“Oh?” Eddie asked curiously, amused as Chris yawned wildly before answering.
“Yeah, it’s good for Buck’s leg, but he didn’t ask for anything to be put on the list.” Chris handed over his glass and wiggled around to get comfortable. “He said the heat is good for his leg, but he’s just letting me add whatever I want.”
Smoothing his son’s hair, Eddie leaned down, “You know that not everything on that list may be doable, right?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s still fun making it, but I want to do something for Buck, too. He takes care of us, so we gotta take care of him too.” Chris breathed out, eyes fluttering shut, “love you dad.”
Smoothing the hair again, Eddie leaned over and pressed a soft, reverent kiss to Chris’s head, whispering against the curls. “Love you too, mijo.”
Rising to his feet, Eddie flicked the light off, the soft night light flicking on to illuminate the floor for Chris in the middle of the night.
Watching his son for another beat, Eddie finally pulled the door shut, eyes landing on the handle as he blinked back tears.
He felt like a fool, but it was startling to stare at the handle and realize precisely how all in Buck had been since the beginning. He vividly remembered coming home from one of the rare shifts they hadn’t worked together early on to find Buck and Chris giggling together as they worked together changing out all the handles - the old twist and turn knobs replaced with a catch handle that was easier for Chris to manoeuvre with his crutches.
It was sweet and endearing, but he suddenly felt guilty for not acknowledging everything Buck had done and continued to do.
Standing at his son’s door, he turned towards the left, looking down the hall to his bedroom and the flood of light from the half-open door. Like a moth to flame, he began the trek down the hallway, knowing Buck had already ensured everything was locked and the alarm set.
In the bedroom, Eddie shut the door behind him and turned to find the bed already turned down, Buck’s phone plugged in, and the light on in the bathroom with the sound of the running water told Eddie where Buck was.
Feeling a flush of arousal flood his body, Eddie took off his skirt, suddenly overly warm, his skin tight as he listened to Buck hum surprisingly on key as he brushed his teeth, the low, steady vibration of his toothbrush audible over the water.
Flushing again, Eddie quickly plugged his phone in and ensured the alarm was set before removing his jeans and underwear, slowly pulling on a pair of shorts. Unwilling to admit it, he kept his gaze on the door, hoping that Buck would come out.
He knew it was a bad idea to start anything tonight; they worked a shift in the morning, but god did he want. What exactly he wanted, Eddie couldn’t have told you; his experience was limited to his wife, which was all mixed up in regret and betrayal, and quick hand jobs in the army, hoping not to get caught.
The water abruptly shut off, kick jumping his heart, and he felt his face burn, but Eddie managed to move towards the bathroom; the need to look and possibly touch seconded to the ritual of brushing his teeth before bed.
Stepping into the bathroom, he found Buck wrapped in a towel, chest still glistening and his curls a riot over his head, as he rubbed moisturizer onto his freshly shaved face.
Buck paused, meeting his gaze in the mirror before his eyes slowly travelled down Eddie’s body, the heat building until no blue was left. The unabashed perusal gave Eddie the confidence to stroll across the room, plastering his front against Buck’s back, pressing a lingering kiss to a shoulder blade as he reached for his toothbrush.
Eddie flushed again, pleasure sparking along his spine as Buck swallowed hard, throat bobbing as he cleared his throat and sidestepped out of the way, attempting to discreetly adjust himself, a losing battle as he fought to hide how little the towel did to conceal how affected he was. Eyes not once leaving Eddie, as Buck continued to apply the moisturizer, watching unashamed as Eddie brushed his teeth and then washed his face.
As Eddie patted his face try, Buck snagged his arm, pulling him between the counter and Buck’s body, and pumped the location twice before rubbing his hands together.
“Close your eyes.” His voice was rough and gravelly, his touch butterfly-like, as if scarcely able to believe he was allowed to touch. It was reverent, almost like Buck was worshipping him by touch alone. It was the most sensual, non-explicit experience of his life, and Eddie didn’t want it to end. He kept his eyes closed, turning his head at every angle Buck indicated, the goosebumps rising on his arms and neck from Buck’s breath ghosting along his skin.
Only when Buck hummed encouragingly did Eddie realize he’d whispered Evan.
Eyes fluttering open, Eddie swallowed at the intensity and unmistakable desire lighting Buck’s eyes, only a tiny amount of blue left, as he gazed at Eddie.
Eddie licked his lips, breath catching, as Buck ran his thumb over his bottom lip, soothing the teeth marks Eddie had been unaware he’d made.
“Evan,” Eddie whispered again, unsure what he was asking for, just wanting something, even if it was highly irresponsible, considering they worked in less than eight hours.
“What do you want Eds?” Buck whispered, thumb sliding down Eddie’s neck, pausing on his pulse before dipping further, following the curve of his shoulder, down the muscle of his chest, and along his sternum.
“I honestly don’t know,” Eddie whispered, keeping his voice hushed, his eyes widening in surprise as Buck dropped to his knees, nosing at Eddie’s stomach, pressing wet open-mouthed kisses to his abs that rippled at the sensation.
Eddie’s legs threatened to give out from under him as Buck teased the edge of his shorts and blinked hungry filled eyes up at him, “I know it’s kind of inappropriate to ask in the middle-ish of this, but did you get tested after Shannon?”
“Tested?” Eddie asked blankly and then flushed in realization, voice cracking as he tried to answer. It should have been embarrassing that it was on a single word, but even the idea that Buck wanted to suck his co*ck quickly overtook his imagination.
Buck licked a stripe up his chest and gently bit his stomach, groaning, “May I?” He asked, breath puffing along Eddie’s stomach as his fingers dipped inside Eddie’s shorts and teased the vee with his thumbs.
Unable to speak, Eddie nodded, lifting his hips away as Buck pulled his shorts down, licking his lips as Eddie’s co*ck sprang free, hitting Buck's face and leaving a smear of pre-come on his lips that he quickly licked off, before dipping to help shift Eddie’s feet out of the material.
Instead of diving in, so to speak, Buck leaned forward, pressing his face right against Eddie’s co*ck, inhaling deeply as he breathed in, breath hot against Eddie’s skin. He pulled back briefly to look up at Eddie, his hand coming up to wrap around Eddie’s dick light and teasing, his voice dark and filled with want, “You know I’ve dreamt about this, so do you want it fast and dirty, or slow and drawn out?”
Helplessly, Eddie shook his head, “I-I’ve never really had one. Shan never liked doing it.”
The mournful glee that crossed Buck’s face at the information was comical, and Eddie didn’t know how to react until a snort escaped him, “are you actually sad right now?”
“I don’t know,” Buck whispered mournfully, his eyes dropping to stare at Eddie’s hard dick. “How could anyone not want to suck your pretty co*ck is kind of mind-boggling….”
The startled huff of laughter turned into a long, drawn-out moan as Buck leaned forward, licking a strip over his fingers still loosely held around Eddie’s dick. It should have been pathetic that little bit had Eddie reeling because he saw stars in the next second as Buck opened his mouth and slid down halfway.
It started slowly as if giving Eddie a chance to adjust, but the sound of the wet sucking was like a live wire attached to his body, his legs already trembling as his hands came up to brace against the counter.
As Buck increased the pace, the p*rnographic sounds echoing around the bathroom mingled with the sensation that Eddie was swamped in, his eyes flying open in shock as the sudden tightening in his gut singled his imminent release. The fact that his hands were buried in Buck’s hair, his knuckles white with tension, never registered as he met Buck’s eyes, pupils fully dilated as he took Eddie to the root, his nose buried against his pubic hair and held it. Buck’s hand curled around Eddie's hip, holding him still, and swallowed.
A hoarse shout escaped Eddie as he shot down Buck’s throat, somehow able to marvel at Buck’s skill - and there was no doubt it was a skill, as Buck managed to pull off enough to get a mouthful of his cum, deliberately rolling it on his tongue and against Eddie’s still twitching co*ck as he swallowed again. Buck's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his hands tightened on Eddie's ass.
Completely drained, Eddie slumped against the counter, whimpering as Buck licked him clean and regretfully pulled off, leaving a lingering kiss on the tip as he blinked guilelessly blue eyes up at Eddie, “Good?”
Buck’s voice was wrecked, causing a shiver to run down Eddie’s spine, even as he nodded, “I don’t think my legs work.”
Grinning, Buck pushed to his feet, swaying forward before he hesitated. It made Eddie flush at the action, knowing that Buck wasn’t sure if he wanted a kiss after, but there was no way he wasn’t going to taste himself on Buck’s lips, so he drew Buck forward and licked inside, pulling a surprised gasp from Buck who melted against him.
Buck’s weight was comforting and warm, but the absence of his previous hard-on was alarming until Eddie felt the telltale wet patch against his hip and pulled back in disbelief, “Did you…?” Eddie trailed off, unsure how to finish his question.
Buck’s cheeks went rosy, his shoulder’s tucking up around his ears, “come untouched from sucking you off?”
Eddie nodded dumbfounded, “that’s a thing?”
Buck lowered his head to look at his covered dick and then lifted an incredulous but delighted brow, “obviously, you need me to remove the towel to prove it?”
Feeling his dick give a valiant twitch of interest, Eddie flushed with embarrassment, jerked his head, and then groaned, dropping his head as Buck’s delight spread into a soft chuckle. “I’m going to corrupt the f*ck out of you, Eds.”
Eddie shivered at the promise in Buck’s tone, allowing Buck to pull him into a hug, who accepted Eddie's weight and pressed a kiss to his temple, whispering, “I love you.”
Snuggling closer, Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck, hiding his yawn against Buck’s chest, “I love you too.”
***
(**In August of 1990, the small family was presented with the opportunity to rise above their present circ*mstances, and the husband was offered a fully funded move to El Paso, Texas, motivating him to prove himself to advance further.
That opportunity was almost ruined on October 31, 1990, when he became the prime suspect in the murder of his much younger wife.**)
***
Due to his conversation with Athena the day before, Buck was in the kitchen, assembling breakfast burritos when Pepa arrived.
The older woman hid a yawn behind her hand as she set up at the dining room table after she stuck her head in the kitchen to say hi.
Buck mumbled hi back and averted his gaze, attempting to concentrate on the burritos in front of him, but the comment slash reminder Chris had dropped last night kept playing through his head.
It had technically been Buck’s fault, a weird disconnect from his iPods happening that had allowed the podcast to filter through the phone when he’d disconnected them. While Buck knew Chris understood death and the concept of it, Buck wasn’t ready to let him listen to a podcast about it either. Thankfully, Chris only heard part of a sentence, but it was at the point where the narrator had said a last name, and now it was all Buck could think about.
Sighing, Buck finished wrapping tinfoil around the burritos, tossed them on a cookie sheet and slipped them into the oven, hearing the shower turn off.
Feeling like it was a sign, knowing that he only had a few minutes, Buck cleaned up his mess, wiping the counters before filling a cup of coffee for Pepa and taking it into the dining room.
Pepa started to smile but flicked his expression immediately, grabbing his hand in concern, “What’s the matter, Buck?”
Sighing, Buck set the mug down, running a hand through his hair, “I- this is going to sound bizarre, but Abuela‘s maiden name was Lopez, right?”
Frowning, Pepa nodded, “Yes, why?”
The steady tread of Eddie coming down the hall and the timer on his phone saved him, and Buck flashed a smile before escaping into the kitchen, feeling sick to his stomach.
It didn’t seem possible that the podcast he was listening to was about Eddie, but there were too many coincidences to not be. He’d known, of course, that Isabel's maiden name had been Lopez, having met one of Abuela’s brothers and her two sisters and their families. He wasn’t sure how the Ramirez name had entered the family; that was the only oddity he couldn’t account for. Everything else fit except that Eddie had never breathed a word of this. Buck’s thoughts halted abruptly, and he leaned weakly against the counter, his mind suddenly flashing to the calendar in Helena and Ramon’s kitchen with the red circled date. For a family that didn’t ‘believe’ in Halloween, having the date circled had been odd, but it appeared they hadn’t celebrated for a more personal or somewhat morbid reason and told Eddie a lie. That meant that Eddie didn’t know, and that hurt more than getting confirmation about Daniel, and Buck wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“You ready to go?” Eddie asked from behind him, making Buck jump, which alarmed Eddie, who was all in his space. “Hey, you alright?”
Buck swallowed and forced a weak smile, “Ah, yeah, just kind of stuck in my head.”
A sly, shy, bashful smile appeared on Eddie’s face, his gaze flicking to the kitchen door before he looked back at Buck and whispered, “Good stuck?”
Gazing into Eddie’s hopeful eyes, Buck swallowed for another reason entirely - the image of how they’d woken tangled in each other's arms, Eddie rutting against him in his sleep - when he nodded, it wasn’t a lie this time.
Eddie licked his lips, ducking his head, shoulders hunching up towards his ears like he wasn’t sure he should if he should be asking.
Darting a glance at the kitchen door, Buck reached out, pulling Eddie towards him, thumb pressing into the hickey hidden under Eddie’s clothing. Eddie’s mouth falls open in shock, and Buck can’t help but surge forward, licking into his mouth, desperate to taste again. Neglecting that, he’d woken Eddie with kisses, pressing him back into the bed as he swallowed him down. It hadn’t been as frantic as last night and hadn’t made him come untouched, but stripping his co*ck just viewing Eddie’s blissed-out expression was enough to send him over the edge, coming in ribbons over Eddie’s abs, a memory forever seared into his brain. It had been and still was a reprieve from the thought he had to go to work and deal with all of that.
Eddie’s semi-frantic and stifled moan was the reminder Buck needed, and he hated it. Breaking the kiss and pulling away took everything he had, and he almost dove in again at the glazed and dilated eyes that blinked up at him before Eddie looked at him with an incredulous expression and a wild, wordless gesture towards the door.
Shrugging helplessly, Buck flushed and pushed the tinfoil-wrapped burrito, “I made breakfast?”
“You-?” Eddie’s eyes darted down, and he shook his head with an exasperated chuckle, “Come on, love, let’s go before you get us caught.”
Buck darted a quick glance towards Eddie, puffing up a little at the endearment, huffing as Eddie peeked his lips, grabbed the offering and escaped the kitchen with a laugh. Sighing, Buck grabbed their mugs of coffee, balancing his burritos on top and followed, buzzing Pepa on the cheek and avoiding her still questioning gaze as he followed Eddie from the house.
“I forgot to tell you what Athena said,” Buck said after fifteen minutes of silence as the traffic slowed to a crawl.
Glancing at Buck mid-bite, Eddie chewed slowly and then swallowed. “With everything that happened, I did too, so it’s fine. What did she have to say?”
Buck frowned, working the tinfoil down as he contemplated his answer, “From what she gathered from the oblique hints Bobby dropped, he’s planning on splitting us up. The three are planning individual confrontations, hoping they get you on their side.”
Frowning, Eddie took another bite, unable to hide his moan of delight, and waved his half-finished burrito, “These are amazing, babe.”
Buck flushed and glanced his way, “Thanks. I tried a new spice combination I thought you’d like.”
Eddie gave him a thumbs up and finished chewing before speaking again, “So what’s the plan?”
“Don’t really have one.” Buck admitted around his own bite, “Athena seemed to be under the impression they’re not going to attempt anything with me at the start, maybe as a lure to get me to lower my guard. Plus, I know Maddie’s working today, or at least she’s supposed to be.” Buck added with a frown and muttered, “She better be. I don’t want an ambush before our shift.”
Eddie reached out and snagged his coffee, taking a sip before responding, “It’s possible she might try before her shift, though, right?”
Grunting, Buck let off the break, letting the jeep roll forward as he finished off his burrito. Snagging a napkin, he wiped his fingers and admitted, “Yeah, she probably will, and they’ll let her because her comfort is more important than my headspace.”
Grabbing his coffee, Buck transferred it to his left hand and shifted the jeep as the traffic picked up, “you going to be alright if they attempt to corner you?”
“am I acting like I don’t know anything?” Eddie asked, finishing his breakfast.
“I wonder….” Buck trailed off, checking his blind spots as he merged lanes, “what if we play them a little?”
Eddie leaned into the seat, sipping his coffee and asked, “In what way?”
Buck hesitated, worry wrinkling his brow, only relaxing as Eddie reached over, lacing their fingers on the gearstick.
“I’m following your lead on this carińo. I just need to know what it is.” Eddie reassured softly, thumb stroking the side of his hands into his.
“Would you be offended or upset if I asked you to use your worry over court Friday as a misdirect?” Buck asked cautiously, fingers tapping a nervous rhythm in the steering wheel.
“In what way?” Eddie questioned, with a yawn.
“If they separate us, they won’t see how you feel or ask what’s happening in your life. They’re just going to jump in, attacking me or defending Maddie; you act upset and worried or pissed off, whichever mood fits your fancy, but when they start to think they’ve won or convinced you, you can just get pissed that all they care about is Maddie. And drop your bomb. Basically, you have a life outside of work that has nothing to do with Maddie or me- hey, let me finish.” Buck ordered as Eddie made a noise of disagreement, “and you drop the probate bomb. Bobby will be horrified, Hen upset and guilty, and Chim, well, he won’t care beyond a bit of embarrassment.”
After a minute of silence, Buck glanced over and found Eddie looking at him with a screwed expression. “What?”
Eddie’s expression softened, “I feel like I owe you an apology.”
Bewildered, Buck shook his head, “for what?”
“Not seeing how smart you are.” A horrified expression appeared a second later, Eddie rushing to explain, “Not that I didn’t think that before. I know you’re smart. I meant in a calculating- no, not that, um, that you see and understand more than most.”
Buck couldn’t stop the grin if he tried and squeezed Eddie’s hand, “I get it. You’re used to the info dumps, not the semi-calculating or survival skill.”
An explosive exhale escaped Eddie as he relaxed in the seat, “you knew about the street fighting before I told you, didn’t you?”
Darting a look at his best friend turned lover and unofficial, official fiancé, Buck sighed and nodded.
“Why did you never say anything?” Eddie asked quietly.
“I don’t know that it would have helped. You had to see it for yourself first, and yeah, I know Bosko jump-started that process, but at the time, you still weren’t talking to me. I felt like if I confronted you on that, it wouldn’t have worked out.” Buck paused and then admitted, “Though having said that, if Bosko hadn’t interfered, I had told myself that I would give you two weeks, and if you weren’t out then, you would have found me standing across from you in that pit.”
Eddie frowned, “you’d never have gotten in, Buck. Like I get you were a Seal.”
“I still am, once a 'Seal, always a Seal.' Just because I left that life doesn’t mean it left me. As for getting in, all I had to do was call Rocko and ask for a fight. He would have ensured Dwayne brought you.“ Buck interrupted firmly and evenly, keeping his eyes on the traffic as he left the highway and only looked over once he stopped at the lights.
Eddie was frowning in consternation as if trying to parse the information, but Buck knew they didn’t have the time, so he offered dryly, “Rocko organized the fights, Eds. We served two years together before he was medically discharged and lost his right leg from an IED.”
“Oh,” Eddie said lamely, flushing and ducking his head. “Why didn’t you use any of that during the lawsuit?”
Groaning, Buck sighed, “Eds, I love you, but we literally don’t have time to get into that right now. We need to decide how we’re playing this or if we’re winging it.”
“What?” Eddie asked and looked around, “Oh, f*ck, alright. Um, let’s play it.”
Chapter 3
Chapter Text
(**After taking the two-year-old child he was raising trick-or-treating, the two returned home, the husband allowing the child to go first to show his mom the ‘goodies.’ The child reportedly screamed, alerting the husband that something was wrong, and entered the kitchen to find his wife’s body sprawled at an unnatural angle.
The police had a lot of theories and suspicions in the first 48 hours, all pointed towards the husband. Jealous rage, infidelity, revenge, the burden of raising another man’s child, the speculation was rampant and vicious, yet in a surprise twist, the police could find no evidence of that.**)
***
Play it they did.
It had been perfect, priceless, and petty. Strolling in arguing, the unease and confusion on the members of the 118 as they tried to parse what was happening. They’d already been thrown the last few shifts by Buck’s lack of reaction and his firm refusal to talk to any of them, but seeing him and Eddie fight was rarer than snow in LA. The best part about the whole situation? No one understood any of it, having the unspoken agreement to ‘fight’ in Spanish. At best, they could only judge based on tone or facial features. It was leaving Hen and Chimney floundering and Bobby trying to intercede.
They stopped in the middle of the tarmac, C shift pausing the restocking as they viewed the stalemate. Buck glared at Eddie, who scoffed and stalked towards the locker rooms. Buck stood there, head bowed, heart pounding, and hands flexing as he fought the urge to laugh - all because they yelled ridiculous pet names at each other.
Hen cleared her throat and took a hesitant step forward, Buck snapping his head up to glare at her before turning and strolling away.
He found the new probationary firefighter in the kitchen, straightening the tables. As the kid wiped the table down, Buck slowed and tilted his head curiously. “Hey, Ravi, how was your first shift?”
Ravi lifted his head, eyes wide as if terrified of being asked, “Oh, um, it was good.”
Smiling, Buck clapped a hand on his shoulder, “That’s great. First shifts are always the hardest.”
A hesitant chuckle escaped the probie, and he shrugged, “Yeah, they warned us about that at the academy, but honestly, it was a pretty uneventful and quiet night.”
Eyes widening, Buck bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the horrified noises that sounded like an animal dying echoed from the top of the stairs.
“What did you say?” Chimney demanded harshly as he came to stand beside them, Hen a step behind him, practically vibrating.
“Ah. ah, I just said it was a pretty uneventful and q-”
“NO!” It burst out of the two paramedics as they frantically waved their hands. “Don’t repeat it!”
Buck snorted, shook his head, and turned away, snagging Eddie’s arm just as he reached the top, smothering his snickers behind his hand as he dragged Eddie down the stairs. “What’s-Buck?”
Buck could only shake his head, tears building up in his eyes as he tried not to laugh, and directed Eddie to the turnouts, who complied though looked completely confused. “Cariño?”
Sighing, Buck leaned forward and lowered his voice, “Ravi said the Q word.”
Eddie’s eyes widened, and he glanced at the alarm before cursing low and pulling out his turnouts, “you going full?”
“Partial,” Buck responded, pulling off his boots and setting them on the tray while grabbing his turnouts.
They could still hear Chimney and Hen arguing at the top of the stairs, Bobby doing his best to calm their panic and reassure a traumatized Ravi, who was apologizing profusely. Buck shook his head, feeling bad for the kid. He’d been hoping for a distraction but hadn’t planned that exactly. Pulling on the pants and making sure the boots were comfortable, Buck went the next step and grabbed a harness, slipping it on and adjusting the straps to fit correctly. It took a second to realize Eddie had stopped to watch him, his eyes glazed as they roamed over Buck’s body, and he couldn't help but flash him a smirk as he pinched Eddie’s ass. Eddie jumped and squeaked, shooting him a betrayed expression, but finished getting ready.
Buck grabbed his small backpack hanging in his locker, double-checking it for snacks, just as the bell rang. Sharing a look with Eddie, he grabbed his jacket and helmet and raced to the ladder truck, climbing in with a grin and a little wiggle of excitement as he buckled his seatbelt. He preened serenely as Eddie choked on a laugh and slid onto the seat beside him, leg pressed against his as Hen and Chimney scrambled inside, only just sitting as Bobby and the driver - Dustin Leon, clamoured in.
Chimney huffed, pulling on his seatbelt, and glared at Buck, “This is your fault.”
Buck rolled his eyes, pulled his phone out as Eddie grunted, and leaned forward, “What are you talking about?”
“Buck goaded the probie into saying the Q-word,” Chimney muttered, glaring at Buck accusatorily.
A bark of disbelieving laughter escaped Eddie, and he muttered under his breath and glared at Buck when Buck elbowed him in the side. “Play it up, grunt.”
Eddie rolled his eyes and straightened, “Oh come on, you can’t believe this bullsh*t, Buck. It’s a word.”
“A word!” Chimney screeched, “it’s not just a word, Eddie. It’s a bloody curse. It’s going to be call after call.”
Hen groaned, dropping her head against the back of the seat, “Bobby, can I go home now?”
“I’m sure it won’t be that bad guys.” Buck muttered, frowning at his phone, “Would you rather be bored?”
“Buck!” Hen shouted in disbelief as she straightened, “Why would you do that? Now you’ve double-jinxed us!”
“How?” Buck asked in confusion, finally lifting his head.
“You literally just said, “I’m bored,” Hen stated, and then paled as Buck smiled beautifully and dropped his gaze to his phone, smile sliding off. Tuning the rest of them out as they continued to argue over superstition and semantics, Buck finally looked at his texts, dismissing most of them without reading them. Then, before he could make himself second guess himself, he clicked on Pepa’s name and attached the podcast, knowing that it was opening up a can of worms and wasn’t sure if he'd regretted it.
***
(**Friends and neighbours reported that the husband was seen multiple times that night, in the reported hours of the murder, Gabriella having been deceased only an hour to two hours at most. No man was able to be in two places at the same time. With the streets crowded with families trick-or-treating, no one noticed any unusual or suspicious behaviour that could point to a definite creditable witness.
The family reported that the two married couples had a relationship based on mutual respect and love for the little boy they raised. The husband treated that child as his pride and joy, though there was temporary talk and suspicion that the woman and child were a front to hide his sexuality, but that rumour was dismissed when no evidence appeared to back that claim. It was also disproved thoroughly a year and a half later when his new wife presented him with a healthy daughter.**)
Eddie was desperate for the first call to be over. They’d arrived at the scene to find a man tapped to the billboard, and instead of handling Buck’s line, Bobby had sent him on crowd control. His annoyance grew as he moved through it, directing those injured towards Hen and Chimney.
On the second sweep, a young woman stepped in front of him, blocking him from advancing and holding ice to her arm. His initial reaction had been skeptical, having seen spectators and victims alike use an injury to get closer to a first responder, normally Buck. To have it directed at him sent his instincts on high alert, yet on closer inspection, he did see a burn, so he started to lead her over to Chimney, intending to pass her off, but she grabbed his arm, “Do you think you could treat it?”
“I don’t have any supplies, ma’am,” Eddie responded, keeping his voice professional.
The woman frowned and bit her lip, no doubt going for a shy-flirty look, “Maybe not, but you were an army medic. I’m sure you’re more than qualified to treat a minor injury like this.”
Eddie frowned, tilting his head and asked, “How do you know that?”
She let out a husky chuckle and shrugged a slim shoulder, “Because you told me, Edmundo.”
“His name is Eddie, Ms.Flores.” Buck’s voice rasped from behind him. Eddie turned just enough to see Buck taking a drink of water, his eyes not leaving the woman.
“Ms.Flores?” Eddie asked in confusion.
“I told you, you could call me Ana.” Ana said with a little frown, eyes darting between them before landing on Buck, “Do you mind? This is a private conversation.”
Buck snorted and looked around at the crowd, “Not very private, and Eddie’s my partner, who’s working. Kinda not the time or place, ma’am.”
Eddie looked between them at the verbal volleyball, eyes lighting up in recognition, and he took a step back with a frown, “Wait, weren’t you the teacher who let Chris get hurt?”
“Yes, but-but we’re past that, Edmundo. You forgave me for that momentary lapse, remember?” Ana protested with a wide-eyed ‘innocent’ look.
“If I remember correctly, Eddie apologized for yelling at you, but then you had to ruin it by lecturing him about the next great American author and likening it to riding a horse,” Buck replied dryly, passing him the water bottle and pulling on a pair of gloves, holding up a bandage, and cream. “Drop the ice, ma’am.”
Surprisingly, Ana did, then froze as Buck took her arm, expertly applied the cream, and covered the burn before she could react. “keep it, try, and take a couple of Tylenol if it continues to hurt. If you notice pain or unusual swelling, go to urgent care or your family doctor.” Turning, Buck pulled off the gloves, tossed them in the garbage can, snagged his water bottle, and squeezed Eddie’s hand. “We’re wrapping it up, cariño.”
Ana’s nose twitched at the endearment, giving Eddie a look of betrayal, “why did you let him do that?”
“Ah, he’s my partner?” Eddie asked like it was apparent, and feeling confused at the growing look of anger on her face. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter; Buck’s right; if you notice any puce or swelling tomorrow, head to your doctor, but in the meantime, take a couple of Tylenol to help with the pain.”
Buck's whistle cut through the crowd, making Eddie wave in acknowledgement, and then thumbed over his shoulder, “And that’s my que, it’s was nice seeing you again, Ms.Flores.”
“No, wait, it’s Ana, please Edmundo.” Ana pleaded, trying to gather her stuff to chase after him, but Eddie shuttered in revulsion at his name and fled the scene, diving into the truck with a sigh of relief. He knocked his head against his seat just as his phone buzzed, and Buck sat beside him, knocking their legs together, the only sign of affection they could share, but it was enough to make him dig out his phone, heart sinking as he saw the text from Jenni. A hand squeezing his thigh made him look at Buck, who offered him a sympathetic smile and mouthed, “I love you,” just as the door opened, both men burying their heads in their phones.
After almost eight hours and several increasingly ridiculous and stupid calls, Bobby finally called dispatch asking for two hours to restock and eat - though that might have been because Buck wouldn’t stop complaining about the puke on him. Thankfully, it was allowed, and the truck hadn’t even come to a complete stop before Buck was out the door, face twisted with disgust as he started stripping on the tarmac before seeming to remember where he was and taking off towards the showers.
Eddie jumped out after him, gathering the pants, putting them to the side to be cleaned, and replacing them with Buck’s spares before turning to help restock the truck. It was only as that finished that he leaned against the tailgate and pulled out his phone, catching up on all the texts that Jenni had sent through, his anger at what she’d found so far sliding into irritation as Hen slid onto the tailgate beside him, Chimney hovering off to the side, “so….” Hen started, making Eddie pause in his scrolling and lift his head, raising an eyebrow.
Hen swallowed and shifted her weight, “you and Buck arguing?”
It took a second to remember the ‘plan’ such as it was, and he scowled, dropping his gaze back to his phone.
“Eddie, this is serious,” Hen said softly as if talking to a patient, increasing Eddie’s annoyance.
“I’m sure it is, but I’m busy,” Eddie replied, eyes not leaving his phone, though he tensed as Chimney snorted a laugh.
“Oh, maybe that’s why Buck’s mad, Hen. Eddie got that woman’s number.”
Confused, Eddie lifted his head, “What are you talking about?”
“That woman. From this morning, we saw you flirting with her.” Hen apologized, “I tried to prevent Buck from going over to interfere, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“Are- you’re serious?” Eddie demanded an edge to his voice, “You tried to prevent him from providing medical assistance, knowing I was sent on crowd control with nothing but my word. How in the world is that even remotely helpful?”
“Come on, Eddie. What could Buck do that you can’t?” Chimney asked dryly, folding his arms.
“A lot, actually, not that it matters. He obviously clocked the injury and provided the correct medical items. As for flirting? When have I ever flirted or acted unprofessional on a call?” Eddie asked stiffly, locking his phone and lowering it to his lap.
Hen opened her mouth and then closed it, licking her lips, unable to provide an answer, which made her frown. Chimney didn’t get the message and nodded snidely towards Eddie's phone, “Well, you’re obviously texting someone since you’ve been glued to your phone all day, so spill.”
“What do you two actually want?” Eddie asked as he slid his phone into his pocket and rose to his feet, facing the both of them.
Chimney opened his mouth, but Hen waved him off and stood, “Buck is refusing to talk to Maddie.”
“I know. What’s that have to do with me or you?” Eddie asked in confusion, then waved his hand, “No, you know what, I don’t care. It’s Buck’s and Maddie’s business. I’ve got my own stress to worry about.”
“Seriously? What could you possibly have to be stressed about?” Chimney sneered an ugly edge to it, making Eddie snap. Metaphorically and Verbally.
“What the f*ck’s that mean?” Eddie demanded, stepping forward, only stopping when Hen stepped between them, frantically waving Chimney off. “You realize I have a life outside this station, right?”
Chimney made a face like he disagreed but didn’t say it verbally. Hen took over again, offering what she probably hoped was a consoling smile that fell flat, “We know that, Eddie. As Buck’s best friend, we just hoped you’d want to help resolve the conflict and bring back ‘happy’ Buck.”
Eddie let out a bark of bitter laughter and shook his head in disbelief, “what makes you think he isn’t happy with me? Because we were arguing when we arrived this morning? It’s like you guys try to see conspiracy everywhere, and it’s hilarious, so for your information, though, why I’m sharing, I have no idea. We were arguing over him coming to court with me on Friday.”
***
(**After the autopsy report was released, blunt force trauma was the official cause of death. Still, in a delay relating to the shoddy investigation, the only thing the police did was collect fingerprints from the kitchen before releasing the scene.
Unfortunately for Gabriella Ramirez and the orphaned boy being raised by a selfless man, the police never found a single suspect, though, in my opinion, they didn’t look very far….**)
***
In the showers, Buck scrubbed viciously at his skin like he was disinfecting after a nuclear reactor spill. If there was one thing he absolutely hated about being a firefighter, it was the amount of puke he had to deal with, doubly so when stupid people caused it.
Buck took his time, even knowing the others were restocking the truck. He took a few minutes to stand under the hot spray with his head tilted so the water hit his back. It was bliss. Finally, even though he was technically still mad at the members of the 118, his guilty conscience got the better of him, and he shut the shower off.
Stepping out, he grabbed the towel, carrying sight of his phone that had fallen from his pocket. Wiping the excess moisture off his face, Buck bent over, picking up his phone, heart jumping wildly at the repeated text from Pepa ordering him to call.
As the saying went, “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” this was definitely past the three-times mark and every instinct he had told him not to call. He didn’t want confirmation, which was a ridiculous reaction. Pepa could be calling to tell him he was wrong, but somehow, he knew he wasn’t.
Standing naked with a towel in one hand, phone in the other and dirty puke-filled clothing on the floor. Buck pressed Pepa’s name and swallowed as it didn’t finish one full ring, and she answered.
Breathlessly, voice cracking with tears, Pepa whispered his name.
Heart breaking for the older woman, Buck hid it behind a veneer of calm, “is it, Ramon?”
“Buck, please, you can’t. We promised, please, you can’t tell anyone”. Pepa whispered with a tear-filled moan of mourning, the sound punching Buck in the gut, and an answering prickle of tears burned his eyes.
“Pepa, you can’t ask that of me,” Buck whispered, heartbreaking at the hitching sob that echoed through the phone. “I’ve lived my whole life a lie. I can’t do that to Eds. It’s not fair, and he deserves - hell, it’s his right to know.”
“Nooo. Ev-Evan, you can’t. We all made promises. It was to never be spoken of. Eddie can’t ever know the truth of his conception. It-it would ruin Ramon.” Pepa pleaded, breath coming in on a sharp inhale, like she was smoking a cigarette.
“I don’t give a f*ck about Ramon, Pepa.” Buck snapped, suddenly blindingly angry, “I care about Eddie. I f*cking love him, alright? You can’t ask or demand I keep silent to protect Ramon’s delicate feelings. He can man up and grow a f*cking pair, just like he taught his ‘son.’” Buck drew in a ragged breath, “And sure, this is about Eddie, but it’s also about his ‘mother,’ remember her? That poor forgotten and discarded woman, Jesus f*ck, it’s like Ramon wanted to steal her son-“
“No, Evan, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t. I won’t lie and say it was a love match, but they grew to love each other.” Pepa protested, voice levelling out and not as emotional, but an undercurrent of panic was still evident.
“So you say. Ramon loved Gabriella so much he forgot about her, just like Daniel.” Buck’s breath hitched in time with Pepa’s, “Remember him, I’ve gone through this. Remember what you said?” Buck demanded, voice harsh.
“No one deserves to be forgotten like that,” Pepa whispered softly and sniffled.
“I get that the circ*mstances are wildly different, but that woman had already had a horrible life, and then she was murdered, Pepa, and for what? Why? Who did it?”
A strangled gasp flew from Pepa’s mouth, blowing hard into the phone, “We don’t know, they never- never solved it.”
It was probably cruel, but Buck was past caring, “That’s right, you want to know why? Because her family never spent a second trying to figure that out. They wrapped her memory and story, put it in a box, and forgot about her.” Buck took a breath, “You’ve got a chance to fix this and a minor reprieve. I won’t say anything right now, but the clock is ticking. Sunday, after supper, you and Abuela sit down and tell Eddie about his mother and what happened to her.”
“No, I need more time.” Pepa denied it instantly, voice growing angry.
“You’ve had thirty-two years, times up.” Not waiting for a response, Buck hung up and lowered his phone, blinking back tears. God, what a f*cking mess.
Once dressed, Buck stood for a minute in the locker room, watching Hen and Chimney surround Eddie standing by the tailgate, the ridged line of his shoulders indicating he was fast losing his temper as Hen stepped between them, worry on her face as she frantically gestured for Chimney to back off.
Eyes darting to the loft, he could see a couple of the others watching the confrontation, with no sign of Bobby anywhere.
Sighing, Buck ran a hand through his curls, eyes catching on movement at the bay doors, body tensing and groaning. He really didn’t need this. His plate already overflowing with other things. He didn’t need a semi-infatuated former teacher complicating their lives. And he knew infatuation when he saw it. Not that he necessarily blamed her, Eddie was the whole deal - sweet, charming, attractive, kind - he was perfect, and the flare of anger and jealousy in Ana Flores’s eyes when he’d called Eddie carińo - done on purpose - told him that she saw it to.
The over-familiarity was weird; beyond the weirdly awkward parent-teacher night Eddie had told him about and then the fiasco over the skateboard, Eddie hadn’t had many interactions with her. The last time they’d ever seen her was at the end of the year assembly, and she’d avoided them like they had the plague, even though they hadn’t been together.
Taking a whole body shake, Buck ensured he had his phone and mask. He left the locker room, catching Eddie’s eye, who’d turned away from Hen and Chimney. Eddie raised an eyebrow, making Buck tilt his head towards the front doors where Ana was still standing, looking around as her eyes adjusted. Eddie heaved a sigh and course-corrected Buck, falling into step beside him.
“You alright?” Buck asked softly, brushing their hands together.
Eddie snorted and shrugged, “left them stewing,” He sighed as he stopped walking to look at Buck, missing the annoyance that crossed Ana’s face, "dropped the court thing but left it open-ended.”
Buck fought the grin that threatened to cross his face but knew the mirth built in his eyes because Eddie offered him a coy look, “Figured that would get rumours spreading faster, right?”
“So f*cking right, baby.” Buck breathed, flushing slightly as the pet name slipped out, but not taking it back, “It’s perfect, actually.”
A throat clearing beside them made them turn, facing Ana, who was frowning furiously, mask around her throat, and holding a tray of coffee, tapping a foot, “You’re ignoring me, Edmundo.”
Pulling on his mask, Buck stepped back, Eddie copying him with a little wrinkle, “I’ve never given you permission to use my name, Ms.Flores.”
Ana’s eyes crinkled like he’d said something amusing, a husky laugh filtering through the bay and up toward the loft, “what are you talking about? Of course you did, Edmundo.”
“Ms.Flores, I will ask that you put your mask on inside the fire station. It’s mandated by law.” Buck said with a little frown as her eyes flickered to his before she dismissed him with a little huff.
“Can we talk privately, Edmundo?” Ana asked, ignoring Buck completely.
Eddie folded his arms and shook his head, “Not only am I working, it’s already been a hectic shift. We need to finish restocking vehicles and eating while we can.”
Nose twitching, Ana held out the tray, “But I got you coffee. Surely you can take ten minutes?”
Buck tilted his head, eyes narrowing, “Has elementary school changed recently?”
Eddie jerked his head towards him in confusion as Ana finally looked at him with a little dumbfounded, “What?”
Shifting his weight, Buck folded his arms, “Well, the concept of the word, ‘no’ is normally accepted as a complete and full sentence….” he paused and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “though if it has changed that would explain why the rest of the actions in this station.”
“I have no idea what you’re speaking about, Mister...?” Ana trailed off, a little wrinkle appearing on her forehead.
Buck barked a laugh, not bothering to keep his voice down, and shook his head, “You know exactly who I am, Ms.Flores, but nice try, you get an E for effort.”
Breathing hard, Ana glared at him before remembering that Eddie was standing there as he shifted into Buck’s space, her eyes again zeroing in on him, “We need to talk, Edmundo. This game you’re playing is ridiculous, and I don’t appreciate being made a fool of.”
“I- what? What are you talking about, Ms.Flores? What game? I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t talked to you since our confrontation concerning our son and allowing him to get hurt.” Eddie shook his head in confusion as her irritation grew.
With a sharp breath, Ana muttered under her breath as she shoved the coffee into Buck’s hand and whipped out her phone, fingers flying across the keyboard, before shoving it into Eddie’s face, “This is ridiculous, you know. I don’t know if you’re embarrassed or just good at keeping secrets, but we’ve been talking for over two months, making plans for our future. We keep trying to arrange a date, but you reschedule because childcare falls through.”
“What?” Eddie demanded, stepping back even further, and turned to Buck, panic building in his eyes, “Evan, I swear to god-”
“Eds, hey, calm down,” Buck reassured him, setting the coffees down and pulling him against his side, uncaring that it was broadcasting their intimacy, and directed his attention to Ana, whose lips thinned at their actions.
“It’s very disrespectful to act like this, Edmundo.” Ana scolded with a little wrinkle of her nose.
“When’s the last time you talked to ‘Eddie?” Buck asked, using air quotes around his name.
“Last night, we talked for over two hours, and he even sent me links to cute little bungalows, saying we could start off small while we build our family,” Ana responded promptly with a smug smirk in Buck’s direction.
Buck smiled somewhat cruelly and squeezed Eddie’s side in silent apology and warning. “About what time?”
“What?” Ana asked in confusion, “I don’t- between nine and eleven.”
“I’m not sure who you think you’re talking to, but I can tell you it’s not Eddie,” Buck said simply with a little shrug of his shoulders.
“Of course it was, Mr.Buckley. That you think you know our close and intimate relationship-”
“I was giving Eddie a blowj*b last night between those hours, Ms.Flores. I can guarantee he wasn’t thinking about you.” Buck interrupted placidly, annoyance building in his tone, demanding a second later when she opened her mouth to argue. “Have you spoken on the phone?”
Ana’s lips thinned in growing anger, and Buck slid his hand into Eddie’s pocket and pulled out his phone. “Text his number, Ms.Flores.”
Stubbornly, Ana folded her arms, nose lifting, “I refuse to indulge in this farce, and I’m done talking to you, Mr.Buckley.” Looking at Eddie, a soft, pleading expression filled her face. "You know that we have a connection, Edmundo. The polite thing to do is tell your friend to back out.” Ana’s lips twisted at the word friend, though her expression stayed sweet.
Eddie slowly shook his head, “I’m sorry, Ms.Flores, I’m really not the person you’re talking to.”
Angry tears appeared in her eyes, her jaw tightening as she clenched her phone before pulling it up to her face, typing furiously, lips compressed to a thin line. When she finished, she lifted her head triumphantly, her eyes zeroing in on Eddie’s phone, which stayed black. Frustrated, she dropped her gaze, typing again, panic filling her voice, “It has to be a bad reception; I’ve been having connection issues-” she swallowed hard, cutting herself off, and a tear slid down her face, followed by another as her phone buzzed. Lowering it, she glanced at Eddie’s still-darkened phone and whispered, “I don’t understand. You’ve been so attentive and caring. It made me fall in love with you.”
Feeling bad for the woman, Buck glanced at Eddie, seeing the same conflict on his face as he sighed, “Ms.Flores, I’m not sure what to tell you, but it’s obviously not me on the other end.”
Sniffling, Ana nodded and wiped at a tear, “Yeah, I guess.” she paused and lifted tear-filled eyes, “Maybe we could still try anyway? Like it’s fate, we ran into each other again, right. We could be good for each other. You-you need the support and help with Chris.”
It was evident she was seeing the revulsion on Eddie’s face because she kept stuttering, fighting through that as if to prove her point, only to have her hopes crushed as Eddie shook his head. “No. I- I don’t want to hurt you more then…” he trailed off and sighed, “I lived a lie once, and I won’t ever do that again. I married my wife due to social and paternal expectations, and while I loved my wife, I wasn’t in love with her.”
Ana made a face and waved her hand dismissively, “That doesn’t even make sense, so I doubt it was a real love, Edmundo.”
“For f*ck sakes, it’s Eddie.” Eddie snapped angrily, “I don’t know who you are beyond a former teacher at my son's school, who has a serious lack of understanding of the word 'no' or boundaries. So don’t tell me how I felt about my wife. It’s rude as hell.”
“You don’t need to resort to foul language. I’m the victim here. You should be consoling me instead of attacking me.” Ana cried, tears reappearing instantly, “It’s like you’re not even trying to see my side. You flirted with me at that parent-teacher interview, not including the last few months, yet know you’re holding one tiny little mistake against me and won’t even consider a future together.”
“Considering we’ve already established that it hasn’t been me the last few months, it’s a weak argument. As for flirting? We must have a severe level of misunderstanding of what constitutes flirting. I don’t see how talking over my child’s education or calling me by a name I detest could be considered flirting.” Eddie sneered, anger making him tremble, hand not leaving Buck’s side.
“But you-you said it was our thing, Edmundo.” Ana protested weakly, jumping as her phone buzzed, her eyes flicking over the text with real tears appearing this time.
Not sure what to do, Buck glanced at Eddie, who shook his head helplessly, not having a clue either, “It wasn’t Eddie, Ms.Flores, remember?” Buck stated softly, feeling a little bad for the woman. “My advice is to make a police report for catfishing and then block them. I’d also recommend changing your online profiles to private so something like this doesn’t happen again.” He paused and then added as an afterthought, not wanting to terrify the woman but needing her to be aware of the possibility. “I would also be suspicious of any strangers or even people you know acting like they know more about you than they should. It could be someone you work with or had in the past that is using Eddie’s face to get close to you.”
“I- I guess.” Ana whispered, gaze on the floor, blinking tears from her eyes, “I just….” she trailed off and hugged herself, “I’m going to go to the police station and make a report. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
“Ms.Flores,” Buck called after her as she started to walk away, pulled out his wallet, and slipped out a card. “If you need to - you can contact us through our lawyer. We’ll also cooperate if the police open an investigation, too.” Buck held out the card, unsurprised when she hesitated, but took it in the end before casting one last longing look at Eddie and left the station, leaving an eerie silence behind.
The only thing that would complete this shift was for Maddie to show up, and Buck knew that was only a matter of time.
Turning to Eddie, he held out his hand, not caring about the rest of the shift watching avidly, knowing they wouldn’t acknowledge it now because it would interfere with their ability to pressure him to talk to Maddie, so using that to his advantage, Buck pressed a kiss to Eddie’s temple and let him up the stairs, hiding his amusem*nt as A shift scattered leaving them alone.
***
The rest of the forty-eight-hour shift was stupid. Call after call, with people pulling stupid stunts that required rescuing. The calls slowly petered out as the shift rolled on, but the number of times Buck found himself on the ropes was just plain dumb, the mass collection of bruises on his side painful as he glared angrily at Bobby as the older man walked away. Clenching his hand into a fist, Buck only relaxed when Eddie approached his side, leading him to the locker room with a whisper of reassurance.
“I can’t do this anymore, Eds,” Buck whispered as he let Eddie assist him to the bench in the locker room, wincing as Eddie helped get his shirt off. “He’s going to allow me to be killed in this stupid push to punish me for not talking to Maddie.”
Eddie sighed heavily, easing the material over his shoulders, nodding to his pants. Sighing, Buck unbuckled the belt, unbuttoning and unzipping them before pushing his pants down, only glancing down when Eddie inhaled sharply.
The black and purple collection on his arm continued and ran down his side, showing where he’d bounced off the cliff face in a strong gust of wind, and he grimaced as Eddie forced him to sit, gently probing the area for broken bones, his frown increasing as he followed the bruising down his leg. “I’m going to get the first aid kit.”
“No, Eds, I’m fine. We don’t have time for this.” Buck protested, carefully bending over to unzip his boots.
“Cariño, an open gash on the back of your arm is still bleeding sluggishly.” Eddie stated softly, “I’ll be right back.”
Buck turned his head, trying to see, but the twinge in his side changed his mind, and he ended up nodding weakly, “I’ll wait here.”
Eddie hesitated momentarily before hurrying from the room, leaving Buck sitting on the bench with his pants around his ankles and shirt open and hanging off his shoulders. Moving carefully, Buck eased the skirt off fully, checking the sleeve and seeing the dried blood, and tossed it on the floor in front of his locker. Shifting carefully, he toed off the boots and wiggled the pants off, neck prickling as if being watched.
It was a conflict of reactions, the first initial urge to duck and not draw attention to himself making him wince, so instead, he straightened, turning his body slightly so whoever was watching could see the damage themselves.
A second later, Eddie was back, kneeling beside him as he drew on a pair of gloves, “it was Bobby and Hen. They're near the back of the ambulance, whispering together.” Eddie informed him dryly. “Chimney’s nowhere to be seen, so I expect he’s waiting for Maddie to arrive.”
Deflating, Buck nodded sadly, “Yeah, okay.” Glancing at Eddie, he smiled weakly, “Patch me up so we can hit the road. Maybe we’ll be faster than my sister.”
They weren’t. Buck had just finished fixing his hair in the mirror when Eddie stuck his head into the bathrooms and raised a brow.
Buck lowered his head and took a breath, leaning into the touch of Eddie’s hand, taking the comfort offered. On another breath, Buck straightened his shoulders, mask dropping over his face as he called up the Seal mode left behind and met Eddie’s eyes in the mirror. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Eddie smiled, one that reached his eyes as he squeezed his uninjured side. “Evan, remember I have your back, whatever is necessary, right?”
Buck clenched at Eddie’s hand, only a minor tremble betraying his nerves, but he finally pushed away from the counter, pocketing his phone and wallet, leaving the bathroom with an expression that could have been carved from ice.
Exiting the locker room, he saw Maddie walk towards him with a jet to her chin that spoke to her determination. Chimney hurrying behind her, Hen stepping up in silent support, Bobby staying back by the ambulance.
Coming to a stop, Buck looked straight at Maddie and heaved a sigh, “Which part of the very English text did you not understand? I said I would contact you when I was ready.”
“Because this is ridiculous, Evan!”
“It’s Buck!” Buck spat angrily, “You don’t get to call me by my name after a betrayal like that, Maddie.”
Aghast, Maddie’s eyes filled with tears as she shook her head, Chimney taking her hand and glaring at Buck, “You can’t talk to her-“
“Shut up, Howard.” Buck growled, “This is between me and her. If she didn’t want the stress, she should have stayed the f*ck home.”
“Then how are you supposed to forgive me?” Maddie said, tears overflowing, making Buck snort.
“Who said anything about forgiveness?” Buck asked curiously, “I haven’t heard a credible apology that wasn’t more about your feelings than mine. I’ve been cornered, lectured, blackmailed, and gaslit and abused since you invited your parents here. I’ve been told stress isn’t good for the baby, yet you're here harping once again and demanding I what? Forgive and forget? Apologize for keeping you waiting? What exactly am I supposed to do with this knowledge? I once had a brother I failed to save. I was lied to my entire life. Even if it explains why my Phil and Marg hated me.”
“They don’t hate you! They’re good people, Evan, they really are; they just don’t know how to show it.” Maddie argued, taking a step forward as she pleaded softly.
Feeling Eddie stiffen beside him, Buck sighed and shook his head, “Why is it so crucial for me to forgive you?“
“Because it’s what family does!” It burst out of Maddie, desperation in her tone, “You’re supposed to forgive me anything you promised.”
Rearing back, Buck stared at his sister in a sort of horrified fascination and couldn’t help but feel sick, twisting anxiety inching at his skin, and asked in a soft, cold tone. “Then why can’t you forgive me? Why can’t any of you?” Buck asked, looking around, “You made me beg for weeks after the lawsuit, a lawsuit I should never have had to file. I don’t know how many times I asked for forgiveness or said I was sorry, and you all brushed me off and treated me like sh*t because I stood up for myself. How is that fair?” Buck ran a hand through his hair and let out a bitter laugh, “You know the most ironic part? Not one of you apologized for almost ruining my career or forcing me to file. All you concentrated on how I wronged you when Maddie started it all because I didn’t give her what she wanted.”
An angry growl left Chimney at Maddie’s horrified gasp, but Buck was past caring and pointed right at Bobby, who looked stunned at having the attention shift to him. “Who told you I pushed myself during therapy?” Buck asked, not waiting for Bobby to respond before demanding another answer, “Who told you I was causing the clots by moving too fast? Who then started whispering all the stories about how I injured myself as a child just to get some attention. Attention, mind you, I shouldn’t have had to fight for it. If I'd had kind, loving and forgiving parents.” He added sarcasm heavy, but the satisfaction of watching Bobby flinch made him happy. “Who played on your insecurities that you failed another person you cared about?” Buck asked evenly and continued, “Who begged you not to let me die, knowing how you feel about your kids. It’s no secret I view you as a father figure, Bobby. Maddie knew that, so she used it to get what she wanted. It’s what she does.”
Buck looked around, catching Hen’s pale face as she slowly stepped back from flanking Maddie and the guilty expression on her face to Chimney’s stony, angry glint.
“Now, for the last time, I will ask that you leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about you or how much stress you’re under because, frankly, I don’t give a damn. You brought it on yourself. This is my place of work, and you promised that you wouldn’t drag our personal relationship into my place of work ever again, and you failed miserably following that promise.”
“You’re being kind of cruel, Buck,” Chimney muttered, glaring at him.
“No, I’m being real. Because of Maddie's whining, you all thought it was a good idea to stage an intervention, but she f*cked up and is now facing the consequences for her actions and expect me to fall in line to keep the status quo. Do any of you even know or understand how f*cked up this is? Daniel, my conception, my childhood, none of you questioned anything about my life. None of you even questioned why I kept my sister a secret and just accepted Maddie’s tales blindly when she arrived, not once asking for my version. It’s like none of you f*cking see me, and I’ve known you longer. You all judge and base your opinions on me, of when I first started, without trying to find out why I was acting the way I did. You all just saw a f*ck up and never tried to help me fix it, you blame me for things outside my control, and when I try to enforce reasonable healthy boundaries, I’m told it’s unfair. Well f*ck that and f*ck you.” Looking straight at Bobby, Buck straightened his back, “Captain Nash, I don’t care if our shift is almost over. I request that you remove the people harassing me, or I’ll leave and file a complaint with HR for conduct unbecoming of a firefighter.” When Bobby hesitated, Buck lifted an eyebrow, “I’ll politely remind you, sir, that all HR has to do is pull the surveillance, and I could have everyone written up, including yourself.”
At that, Bobby snapped too, and it was kind of sad that was what it took for his captain to finally do his job, gently ushering Maddie away, Chimney following like he didn’t know how to react but figured it was best to console Maddie who was sniffing the into a Kleenex.
Buck watched them leave, shoulders slumping, but accepting Eddie's soft, quiet touch of reassurance as Hen cleared her throat, making Buck shake his head, “Don’t bother Hen, you already proved where your loyalties lie.”
Hen frowned and shook her head, “you don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
Buck raised an incredulous brow, “so you’re offering an apology?”
Shocked, Hen made a face and shook her head, making Buck snort, “and you proved my point. Do you still think I’m in the wrong? That I should just forgive, forget and what? Let bygone be bygones? If that’s the case, then why not give me the same courtesy? Why do you constantly fling my past behaviour in my face?”
“I don’t do that!” Hen denied it instantly.
“Yeah, then what was up with threatening to report me to HR for looking at Firefox but not offering the same support when they kept looking and pointing at me? Why was I accused of misbehaving for looking when they did so much worse.” Buck demanded heatedly.
Hen rolled her eyes, folding her arms, “Because I know you, Buck. We didn’t need to deal with an interstate incident during a natural disaster.”
“That there is exactly what I’m talking about,” Buck stated warily, shaking his head. “You judge and base me on past behaviour, but let me ask you this: when was the last time I actively discussed my love or even my sex life?”
Hen promptly opened her mouth and then shut it, a shocked, arrested expression filling her face.
Buck smiled grimly and glanced at Bobby as the older man reappeared, “You know, I fought so hard to get back here because I thought we were a family, but this right here just goes to show me we aren’t. I’m the scapegoat. I’m to blame whenever something goes wrong, and I can’t live like that. I won’t. To bring me to heel and force me to talk to Maddie, you allowed someone unqualified and holding a grudge against me to handle my lines today. I’m a bruise from my shoulder down to my knee because Chimney couldn’t be bothered to hold the line properly. In fact, at one point, I thought he would let it go and let me crash into the rocks below. I’ve done nothing wrong in this situation, so I’m formally requesting a transfer to a different station.”
Chimney snorted, coming around the ambulance and folding his arms, “So you’re going to run? Again? Life gets hard, and you’re just going to take off.”
“I’ve never run from a f*cking thing in my life unless you count the time I arrived here in La drowning after being kept a prisoner of war and watching each of my teammates tortured every day for three solid months because it was the only thing that affected me.” Buck smiled cruelly as they stared at him with various looks of disbelief and skepticism. “I left Hershey to get away from my parents. Do you want to know where I ended up? The Navy. All the tales of me hoping over the US and South America? My cover story, because I am legally not allowed to discuss my career in the Seals.”
Chimney laughed and shook his head, “You can’t be serious, Buck, you couldn’t cut it in the military.”
“No?” Buck asked dangerously and folded his arms, “Pull out your phones.”
Buck glanced at them and nodded, “Come on, pull them out, open a web browser. Military awards are given to serving members; the highest is the Medal of Honor. Eddie has a silver star, ranked fourth, which you can confirm at your leisure. Now look up 2015 recipients for the Navy Cross, the second highest award given, and tell me the four names.”
Hen glanced up at him with a little wrinkle, but she spoke, “Corporal Harlan Marks, Commander Richard Evans, Lieutenant Franklin Greeds, and Lieutenant Commander Evan Buckley.
Eddie inhaled sharply at his side, hand trembling as Eddie slipped it into his, and Buck took it and the comfort it offered, watching the expression that spread across the three people in front of him. “You’ve all told me at one time or another not to judge a book by its cover, yet none of you has followed the same advice. You’re all judge, jury and executioner based on a false perception, and I won't accept it any longer. Fix this situation properly - the power imbalance, the slu*tshaming, the bullying, the toxic hostility, all of it, Captain Nash, or have an acceptable transfer in my hand in two weeks, if not I will revive my lawsuit against you and the LAFD for wrongful dismissal and constructive discrimination, take the money and damn the consequences because honestly, I don’t care anymore.”
Bobby inhaled sharply, turning white, as Hen demanded, “What do you mean? What money? You lost the lawsuit.
Buck smiled and stated, “That's a good place to start. You can explain the misconception that I’m just a dumb white boy, Bobby, 'cause you’ve kept a few pertinent details from your house.”
Buck waited, shook his head, and started to move, only stopping because Eddie hadn’t let go of his hand or moved.
Eddie glanced between them and took a breath, “Captain Nash, make those two transfers. If Buck goes, I go. I’m not leaving my partner behind again. Him I trust to get me home.”
***
“Are you going to go through HR?” Eddie asked, rubbing his thighs as they sat outside the courthouse, waiting for Jenni to arrive.
Shrugging his shoulders, Buck tossed the Tylenol into his mouth and washed it with water, “No, I’ll go through Jenni. I like the layer of protection having my own lawyer provides, as I honestly don’t trust the ones the union provides.”
“Damn right, you’ll go through me, what the f*ck happened?” Jenni demanded as she came up behind them, pulling the edge of Buck’s shirt down, showing the bruise had gotten worse in the forty-five minutes since they’d left the station.
“We don’t have time this morning, Jen,” Buck stated softly and sighed gingerly, raising an arm to run through his hair and fix the collar. “Short story, I threatened to revive the lawsuit, so there's that.”
Jenni narrowed her eyes, glancing at her watch before ushering, “Fair enough, but I want x-rays done.”
“Nothings brok-.” Buck started to protest but stopped when Eddie and Jenni both turned to look at him and sighed, “Fine, after this, I’ll go get x-rays.”
“Andy Carson, right?” Jenni asked, whipping her phone out, already typing as Buck grumbled but nodded.
Humming with a self-satisfied air, Jenni slid her phone away and let them through the doors by passing a man in a well-dressed suit like he didn’t exist.
“Ah, Mr.Diaz?” The man called after him, hurrying to catch up, frowning as none slowed.
They followed Jenni like two little ducklings, the man Buck assumed was Jeffery Irving bringing up the rear as she led them unerringly through the corridors, stopping outside courtroom three and greeting a young woman standing there with a covered box. “Perfect timing, thank you, Krista.”
Ushering them into the courtroom, Jenni directed them to the right side, flicking an amused glance towards the man standing there helplessly and confused, the four of them taking up the only chairs available.
The bailiff frowned as the man continued standing there and jerked his head towards the bench behind the railing, waiting for the man to comply with a hint of unease creeping along his shoulders.
The bailiff called the room a second later to order, “All rise for the honourable Judge Adrian O’Brian.”
The sound of scraping was heard as the courtroom rose, the judge strolling into the room, frowning immediately, and glancing at the folder as he sat. “Mrs.Davison?”
Jenni smiled pleasantly as she stood, “Your honour.”
The judge huffed and leaned back in his chair, tapping the folder. “I was under the impression from the paperwork filed that this would be a fairly straightforward closing of an estate. Please explain why you’re in front of me instead of.” He leaned forward, adjusting his glasses, “Jeffery Irving.”
Shifting slightly, Jenni pulled the covered box towards her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “how much time do I have, your honour?”
Adrian O’Brian lowered his glasses to look at her over the top of them, tapping his pen on the folder, “Five minutes.”
“Your honour, I must protest.” Jeffery Irving stated, “I was given no warning, and it’s highly irregular that another lawyer takes over a finished probate case.”
“I’m aware of the irregularity, counsellor.” The judge stated with a frown, “It would be why I asked what she was doing here.” Adrian pulled off his glasses, tossed them on the bench, and folded his arms, “Go ahead, Mrs.Davison.”
“Thank you, Your Honour.” Jenni dipped her head and pulled the lid off the box, “I received this email from Mr.Buckley, the blond, at the end of Monday evening.” she held out the paper to the bailiff, who accepted it and brought it to the judge, the older man reapplying his glass, frowning as he read.
The frown deepened as he clicked his tongue, “a somewhat alarming read if the information could be proven.”
“I will admit, I have insider information pertaining to Janet Whitt’s estate, which was the hold up on completing Shannon Diaz’s.” Jenni said, pulling out a thick folder, “My law firm had been a long-term client of Janet Whitt, my father first retaining her as a client in '75. It had been a long-standing relationship, and we diligently worked with Mrs.Diaz to complete and close her mother's estate. As we were fighting several companies, three claiming bills had not been paid. One refusing to pay the insurance payout. In March 2019, Shannon Diaz approached our office and had divorce papers drawn up. We were working on a will for the client when we received word she had passed away in a tragic and unexpected accident. The news was received from Mr. Irving's office as a termination and demand for records, which is any client's right to do so, but something felt off. Our office did a little digging and confirmed that Jeffery Irving works in his father’s law firm, representing Mr.Diaz’s Parents. No record or agreement was signed to indicate that Mr.Diaz was made aware that could be considered a client-attorney conflict.”
The judge shifted forward, leaning on the bench in front of him, sipping from the glass of water he poured, and sighed, “Mrs.Davison, while I appreciate your level of detail, what does any of this have to do with the close of Shannon Diaz’s estate.”
“All of it, your honour. Mr.Diaz has been in an ongoing battle against his parents, who've fought to retain custody of their grandson. In that fight, of which they have retained Henry Irving, Jeffery Irving’s father, all information has been passed to the Diaz’s parents to give them a leg up against my client, including but not limited to stealing my client's home El Paso.” Jenni returned promptly, pulling out another file as Jeffery pushed through the closed gate.
“I object, your honour. Mr.Diaz is not Mrs. Davison's client as we still have-” A soft humpf escaped his lips as Jenni pushed the file into his hands.
“Consider your relationship dissolved.” Turning to the judge, Jenni straightened her back and offered two other folders to the bailiff. “My client was denied the right to enter his former wife's residence over eighteen months ago with the claim they’re doing an inventory. Not at any point in those eighteen months has a list been provided to my client, though he asked regularly for an update on the case and has received no response. In fact, the only form of contact my client has received in those eighteen months is the paperwork about this court date, which he received via the US post, and not certified mail.”
“I’m confused.” The judge stated, leaning forward, and asked. “what do you mean he has received no response?”
Another folder appeared from the box, “records of the emails sent back and forth to an email address that does not belong to Edmundo Diaz, who has used the same email address since joining the United States Army in 2009. According to public records, when searching online, the IP address attached is registered to El Paso, Texas.”
“Mr.Diaz?” The judge asked with a raised brow.
Eddie swallowed and rose, “Jenni is correct, your honour. I bought my first iPhone and set it up in-store the day I joined. I’ve used an Icloud email ever since.”
“Have you been to Texas since the death of your wife?” Adrian asked, flipping open the folder.
“Technically, yes, your honour, but if I could explain,” Eddie admitted, fidgeting slightly until the judge nodded. “I left El Paso in November of 2016, having no contact with my mother until the death of my wife when my parents showed up out of the blue. I’m still unsure how they knew of Shannon’s death, as no one here in LA would have told them, but it rocked me, and I was already having difficulties with my mental health. A lot was happening, from my wife and I attempting a reconciliation to her requesting a divorce and then dying; my best friend was also involved in a public attack broadcasted on live TV. He was the firefighter pinned under the ladder truck during the city bombings, and it allowed my parents to get a leg in. They convinced me to change lawyers, claiming family could be trusted, and as we didn’t know the lawyers involved on my wife's side, I allowed the change. As for Texas, I’ve been back once. Evan and I were part of the emergency request during the Texas wildfires. On our way home, we regretfully stopped in for dinner at my parents.”
The judge hummed and turned to look at Jeffery Irving, “Explain to me why you used US Post and not registered mail.”
“Your honour?” Jenni interrupted cautiously and swallowed as he slid his glare towards her, the only sign of her nervousness.
“Counsellor?” The judge questioned dryly.
“I- um, I can tell you why.” Jenni offered, and another folder appeared, “In these folders are three wills, two for Janet Whitt, one created by our team, the second seemingly modified at some point after her death, the third will is the ‘completed’ one for Shannon Diaz, that was completed after her death, along with the comparison of the will our office was compiling prior too.”
The judge leaned forward, snapping his fingers impatiently, muttered too low for it to be heard, though the expression on his face resembled a thundercloud of fury. “How did you obtain this information in the forty-eight hours, Mrs.Davison?”
A slow shark-like expression crossed her face, “I assume whoever put together the records believed the case to be closed because whoever sent them to Mr.Diaz provided everything, including some of Ramon and Helena Diaz’s correspondence and records.” She paused and then also admitted, “as for Shannon Diaz and Janet Whitt, our office photocopied everything, noted it, and filed it.” Then, shrugged unrepentant, “Shannon Diaz was concise in our talks about the issue concerning her former in-laws. She had records and diaries accounting for years of psychological abuse. Considering the amount of money between the deceased parties, I felt it prudent to cover my ass in case accusations were levied against our firm.”
“I see….” The judge trailed off and looked around the room that contained a handful of people - all employees of the courtroom and the five individuals in front of the judge. “I will admit this is extremely disturbing for several reasons; the original decision was based on the records and files provided by Irvings law firm. In saying that, I can’t in good conscience hold to that decision, so the case for Shannon Diaz must be tabled for another day.”
Jenni nodded like she expected as much, making Buck blow out a steady breath, his attention caught by Jeffery Irving, who was starting to look panicked, his pale green eyes darting around the room.
Jenni darted a look behind her and cleared her throat as the door opened, the judge scowling at the intrusion but was quickly replaced by a look of horrified shock. “I apologize for not giving you a pre-warning, your honour, but as you can see, I have filed several motions and requested multiple investigations. The State Bar for both Texas and California, along with the FBI, have been informed, and an internal review has been started regarding conspiracy, theft, bribery, money laundering, fraud at a felony level, impersonation, identity theft, and Parental Alienation.”
Two people moved up to the front, dark suits calling like a beacon, as one pulled cuffs from his pocket while the other pulled out papers - two copies, one of which he handed to the bailiff who quickly took to the judge, the other began reading it out, “Jeffery Irving, you're under arrest….”
“No, this can’t be right!” Jeffery interrupted, frantic and wild-eyed. “This has obviously been a setup. I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s supposed to be a simple case to close out the probate.”
“Sir, I will gladly add resisting arrest if needed, but our warrants are already being discharged to the offices here in LA and other states.” The first said as he cuffed the lawyer and began leading him away, the second man continuing to read the warrant in a clear voice that faded as they left the room, leaving a stunned silence behind.
The judge frowned, glancing down at his papers before flipping open the file at the bottom of the pile that held his original ruling and ran a line straight down it, pen scratching across the documents as he lifted his head. “Mr.Diaz, I can’t offer a ruling as I said to fully close your late wife's estate, but what I can do is write up a draft that allows you and your lawyer to enter the premises and start an accurate inventory; I will also include one to obtain the finical records so those can be investigated as well.” He paused and added, “Do I need to provide a temporary restraining order for your parents during this hullabaloo?”
“If it would be possible to have one on file to be served at our leisure, your honour?” Jenni asked cautiously.
“Hmm?” The judge raised a brow somewhat suspiciously, “Mrs.Davison?”
A placid expression crossed Jenni’s face as she responded guilelessly, “Contingency, your honour. We hope Mr.Diaz’s parents don’t stir themselves to come here and interfere, but….”
The judge grunted but made a note. “Is there anything else, counsellor?”
“Not at this time, your honour,” Jenni responded promptly.
“Mr.Diaz? Is there anything you can think of?” The judge asked kindly, Eddie jerking to his feet and shaking his head, “No, but I just wanted to tha-thank-you, your honour.” Eddie whispered, finally sinking back into his chair, looking overwhelmed as Jenni nodded in agreement.
Everything went quickly after that, the judge promising to have the paperwork ready after lunch, which meant that Buck and Eddie took twenty minutes to talk with Jenni after court about what had gone down at the station, already aware of the overall issue with Maddie.
Jenni had shaken her head, running a hand through her hair, “Alright, I’ll contact Sly and give him the heads up.” She pointed at Buck, “And now you’ll get your imaging done. Andy’s expecting you, right?”
Chapter 4
Chapter Text
Buck had pouted the entire time he got the scans, Eddie smiling fondly, making notes on his phone. So, it was in the car on the way to Shannon’s condo that he got to speak. “Chris added to his wish list.”
Perking up at the mention of Chris, Buck shifted on the bed, glancing at the door to the room they’d been directed to, “yeah? What now?”
“A moat.” Eddie replied dryly, glancing at his fiance, “with piranha and alligators.” Eddie lowered his phone and raised a brow, “something I should know about the documentaries you’re watching with our son?”
A flush built, climbing up the back of Buck’s neck, and he ducked his head, partially pleased at the ‘our’ and the embarrassment of being called out and admitted. “it wasn’t a documentary; we were creating a list of things needed for an apocalypse.”
“And, what?” Eddie asked, then paused, shaking his head, “Wait a minute, back up, what- why would that be a thing you two do?”
Shrugging, Buck twitched in the passenger seat and smiled shyly, “I don’t know, Eds, it was fun. We spent an entire afternoon coming up with various scenarios, from nuclear fallout to zombies and how we’d combat our survival.”
Snorting a laugh, Eddie sighed, dipping his head against the backrest, “And do I fit anywhere in these plans?”
Buck mumbled something, ears red and perked up as they pulled off the highway, “I didn’t realize they lived out this way. It’s a nice area out here.”
“You want to look at a house out this way?” Eddie asked curiously, realizing that Buck hadn’t really offered any sort of preference toward a future home.
Buck shrugged, “I mean if it’s where you or Chris want to settle, I’m good.”
Frowning, Eddie turned into the parking lot leading to the condo, “It doesn’t work like that cariño. You get to have opinions, too.”
Buck’s face twisted slightly like he disagreed, and blew out a heavy breath, “Honestly, Eds, I don’t have a list of needs or wants. As long as Chris and you are there, happy and safe, then I’m satisfied.”
“Buck…” Eddie whispered, pulling into the visitor parking section and parking the jeep.
Buck pointed, moving to open the door, “Jenni’s already here.”
Instantly, Eddie grabbed his arm, “Hey, don’t do that. Talk to me.”
Buck sighed and did, his eyes revealing nothing, but he smiled softly, reaching out to lace their fingers together, “Eds, I’m not trying to be difficult or obtuse, I just don’t-” frustrated Buck closed his eyes and opened them. “Okay, it’s simple and possibly boring, but what I want? The family home. I want that dream of raising Chris and maybe a few more children, maybe a cat and dog. So a single-story home, with at least four bedrooms, maybe an in-law suite for Abuela, a big eat-in kitchen with an actual island, a family room, and a huge soaker tub. A bigger yard and pool would be nice, and enough space to park four vehicles, not necessarily in a garage.” He blushed and admitted, “I want a future we can grow into. That’s what I want, Eddie.”
Startled and not expecting to be, Eddie blinked the sudden rush of tears, “You can’t do that without warning.”
Huffing out a laugh, Buck leaned forward, wincing as he cupped Eddie’s face and lifted his head to place a soft, gentle kiss on Eddie’s lips, “I told you it was simple.”
“It's perfect, Evan.” Eddie offered with a grin as a puff of air blew across his face, and Buck made a surprised noise.
“Really?” Buck asked softly, thumb brushing across Eddie’s lower lip.
“Yes, it sounds wonderful.” Eddie whispered, trailed off, staring at Buck, and groaned in annoyance, “Why did we agree to see Jenni this afternoon?”
Barking a laugh, Buck stole a kiss and opened the door, unable to hide his wince but still co*cky, “because you thought you could resist me?”
Muttering under his breath, Eddie grabbed his cell phone and wallet, following Buck out of the jeep, locking the doors as he jogged to catch up. Linking their hands, Eddie threw Buck a reassuring smile when he squeezed and leaned against him as they waited for Jenni.
Only as Jenni came up the walk, Buck leaned down and whispered, “Oh, I thought of something I don’t want.”
“What’s that?” Eddie asked as he smiled at Jenni.
“HOA. refuse to live in one, ever.” Buck said in the driest tone ever and shuddered, “I’m supposed to be the firefighter. I don’t need to start setting them. That just opens up a whole can of worms and different types of therapy I don’t need.”
An arrested expression crossed Eddie’s face before he started laughing and shook his head helplessly as he folded Jenni into the condo, always grateful he had Buck at his side.
***
Even before they hit the condo, it was evident that it would be worth the money. The elaborately dressed gardens and extensive grounds are meticulous and picture-perfect. The lobby was light and airy, with gleaming floors and the unusual and unique scent of citrus and cedar in the air.
Jenni performed the walk-through, then wiped the table, settled on a chair and proceeded to wave them off, claiming to be making a list. And Eddie, well, Eddie wasn’t brave enough to question what type of list, not ashamed to admit he was kind of terrified of the woman. Buck had given him a look like he knew what Eddie was thinking and flashed a smile before disappearing into what Jenni had coined as the office, leaving Eddie alone.
It felt weird being inside, almost like an invasion, as he stood in the living room absorbing what Shannon and Janet’s life had been like. It was larger than Eddie expected, a four-bedroom three, three-bath corner unit. One of the bedrooms was decorated with a dinosaur theme, which had obviously been done with the intention of Chris. It was better than anything he’d offered in Texas, or even here in LA, the high-quality furniture, which said nothing about the top-named appliances he’d spied on the walk-through. It made him feel like he’d failed somehow. The heavy air of staleness and the thick layer of dust made Eddie grateful he wore a mask, even if it made his eyes water.
With a sigh, Eddie finally made himself move, feeling useless as he toured the home alone like he was taking a morbid stroll through someone else’s life.
Standing in the room intended for Chris, Eddie felt a sudden, overwhelming surge of grief as he attempted to envision whatever their life could have looked like, even with a divorce, only so long as Shannon had lived.
Wiping his face roughly, Eddie turned from the room and moved towards Shannon’s room, hesitating at the door, swallowing visibly as it was evident Shannon had been packing her room. She had a suitcase on the bed, with clothing thrown around, spilling onto the floor like she’d been in a hurry.
It was confusing and alarming, and while it was true that Eddie hadn’t ‘known’ his wife for the last three years of her life, she’d never been what he could have described as messy. In fact, it was the opposite, to almost a fanatic degree, that everything had a proper place, the only thing Shannon had ever agreed with his mother on.
Squaring his shoulders, Eddie entered, trying not to flinch and feeling like he was invading something private as he moved over and around the clothing, unsure where to start organizing anything.
Glancing around the room, he saw a laundry basket peaking out of the closet. He grabbed it before he could overthink and started gathering the clothes on the floor.
It was a strange mixture of seasonal clothing, everything from heavy knitting sweaters to sundresses. The only oddity was the lack of undergarments. There appeared to be no bras or underwear anywhere in the tangled mess.
Reaching under the bed to pull out the bundle wedged under the corner, Eddie’s hand hit a hard, smooth object, his curiosity pulling it out with a frown.
It wasn’t even a conscious thought, but smoothing the pages, Eddie’s eyes skimmed the paper, Shannon’s normally picture-perfect writing fast and hurried like she was in a panic, the words that jumped out feeling like a cacophony of alarms setting him on high alert.
Hands trembling, Eddie kind of collapsed to his side, drawing in a slightly panicked breath, and closed his eyes, wanting Buck. He opened his eyes again, focusing on the words that finally resembled a complete sentence.
“Finally, drawing to a close on the inventory for Mom’s estate while creating a list of things I want to keep and what needs to be sold was met with a bitter and painful confrontation I wasn’t expecting from someone I haven’t seen in three years. Expecting one person on the other side of the door and instead meeting a woman from my nightmares is the last thing I wanted today. I had no choice but to invite her in, though, technically, she was still family until I received the divorce papers from Eddie, though I didn’t tell his mother that. I learnt early to never give her an edge in which to dig at me. It started somewhat cordially, offering refreshments and waiting patiently. Helena talked of the weather, what her country club friends are doing, and Ramon’s job, which is of no interest to me. She mentioned Sophia and Adriana’s lives. I honestly can’t say I’m surprised Adriana was cut off after announcing without shame she was a lesbian. I will admit to being surprised Eddie gave the house to Sophia. It didn’t sound like the man I knew. Eddie was so proud of that house, presenting it like he’d won the lottery, and I never had the heart to tell him we could have afforded more. It had its own sort of charm, and I understood and respected Eddie bought it for Chris and I.
Anyway, I digress; it took time for her to finally arrive at the point of her visit, where she dropped the bomb she knew. She knew of the divorce and was ensuring I wouldn’t change my mind.
He said he’s not speaking to any of them, but I don’t believe him since Helena found me. I don’t know if he lied as punishment or if he thought his mother would somehow convince me to not follow through on the divorce. Jokes on him, Helena was all too keen on me divorcing her son, still claiming I was a lying two-bit hussy who wasn’t good enough for her son.
After attempting to reassure her I did intend to follow through, she stared at me for so long that it was unnerving. It’s also the first time I’ve ever been terrified of her because, after that unsettling silence, she looked me dead in the eyes and said it would be in my best interest and continued health to leave her son alone.
I’ll be going to bed in England in eleven days, and I honestly can’t wait. I no longer feel guilty for not telling Eddie I’m leaving for good. I love Chris to the ends of the earth, but I can’t be around his family.”
Eddie blinked, words blurring on the page, and he hastily wiped the tears away, searching for a date, and felt his stomach drop and roll. April 8, 2019, ten days before she died. It flashed at him like a neon sign, and he hastily closed the book, staring at its deceptive simplicity.
It was so much more, though, and that wasn’t counting what was probably genuine and expensive leather, a little sleeve attached for a missing pen. Ducking under the bed again, Eddie freed the clothing, pulling out his phone for the flashlight and shining it around, disgruntled that he didn’t see it.
Hoping it was in the clothing, he set the book and his phone on the bed and stood shaking out each item one at a time. The only thing dropping to the floor was an earring.
Picking it up, Eddie looked it over, the blue jewel winking at him in the sunlight that poured into the room and glanced around for a jewelry box, pushing to his feet and moving towards the walkin. Clicking on the light, he stood there, looking at the destruction in this room too, before his eyes landed on the jewellery box, trays ajar. Taking a step forward, Eddie blinked the tears from his eyes, and clenching the ring, Eddie ducked back into the bedroom, grabbed his phone and the diary, and moved through the condo looking for Buck,
He found him quickly, sitting gingerly on a chair in the office, a painting swung open with a hidden safe wide open and leafing through a thick folder with gloves on and an impenetrable mask on, something Eddie was quickly starting to recognize as his Seal face. It was disheartening that Buck felt he had to wear it now, yet at the same time, with a glance around another room that felt like a tomb, Eddie understood.
“Buck?” Eddie began cautiously looking between him and the open safe, waiting for his fiance to look at him, his hand starting to go numb from the piece of jewellery that had been forgotten.
“Hmm?” Buck blinked at him before his gaze fell back to the folder as he rubbed his eyes, leafing through another paper.
“To start, how did you find the safe? Second, how did you get in?” Eddie asked in confusion.
Buck smiled, turning over another page, the paper sticking to his gloves. “The wall between this room and Janets was too thick, so I went looking.”
“Too thick?” Eddie questioned in confusion, and Buck sighed, setting the paper down, rose to his feet, led Eddie out of the room, into the room next door, into the walk-in closet, and pointed.
“The wall between this and the bathroom next door was weird-looking. It’s almost two feet wider than it should be to account for plumbing if there was plumbing on this wall, which there isn’t. So I started knocking, and it’s not hollow. There is nothing in this room, so it stood to reason that it was in the next room, and it’s a good camouflage. The picture is bigger than normal to hide a wall safe, but it was off-center enough that it’s not the focal point. There is also a minor - and I mean minor unnoticeable chip on the bottom in the back that didn’t feel right, so here we are.” Buck explained, leading the way back into the room and to the folder of papers he was reviewing.
“What did you do in the Seals, Buck?” Eddie asked, still not understanding how Buck saw all that in the thirty minutes they’d been inside, never mind cracked the code.
Buck tensed, ducking his head, resting his arms on the desk before him, “Technically, I was trained in everything, but my talents were targeted towards espionage, specifically infiltration, sabotage and pilfering.”
Surprised, Eddie blinked, honestly not expecting that answer; it seemed the opposite of what he knew about Buck, and he blurted, “Then how are you so clumsy?”
A bark of laughter escaped Buck, his shoulders relaxing in relief, and he lifted his head, eyes shining with amusem*nt, “that’s what you want to know? Really? Why I’m clumsy?”
Blushing, Eddie shrugged and waved a hand to the safe, “Well, how you cracked the safe in less than ten minutes, but yeah, clumsy seems counterproductive for espionage.”
“Eh, not as much as you’d think. People automatically clock me for my size, right? So they expect me to be intimating, dangerous even. Being clumsy makes them dismiss me and go for someone sneaking around or acting suspicious.” Buck shrugged, an uncomfortable look crossing his eyes, probably a memory he struggled to shove away. “As for the safe, that took three minutes and two guesses, and I didn’t even know them.”
Not wanting to doubt Buck, Eddie still couldn’t help but feel skeptical, and he could see Buck saw that by his amused grin as he crossed his arms over his chest and raised a questioning eyebrow, “Fine, I’ll bite. How’d you guess the combination?”
“The last person in there had eaten something sweet, and the pin pad still had the residual sugar left on them. The safe is a common older household version, so, to be honest, it’s not as secure as more modern ones, so it was between a six to eight-digit code. Using the numbers with sugar on them, I used the most common possible date of birth. In this case, started with six, ending with eight.” Buck explained, unfolding his arms and reopening the folder. “If you're curious, it was Chris's birthday, month, day, full year.”
“Really?” Eddie asked, shock crossing his face as he gazed around the room again, blinking back tears.
“Yeah, I’m unsure if Shannon knew about it, though…” Buck trailed off and frowned before looking at Eddie. “What did you find?”
Eddie jolted, wincing as his hand clenched around the earring, and he held it out, along with the book.
Buck took both, placing them on the desk, before leaning over and grabbing a Kleenex, holding it against the blood that appeared. Nodding to the book, he raised an eyebrow, “You gonna tell me?”
Eddie opened his mouth, gaze dropping to the book and shook his head, “I can’t…only read the last entry.”
Buck picked up the book and opened to the last entry, eyes moving as they skimmed the desk, a sheen of anger appearing in them as he slowly lowered the book. “And the earring?” Buck asked softly.
“I went looking for the pen 'cause there's a slot. I couldn’t find the pen, but I found the earring mixed in with the clothing on the floor.” Eddie swallowed thickly, feeling numb and scared, “looked for a jewellery box, and it’s empty, and I know Shannon didn’t really wear jewellery, but it seemed strange; the trays were open, and there's only one.”
“Hey, Eds,” Buck spoke carefully, eyes intense as they stared at him, pulling him into the vee of his legs as he turned to face him, rubbing his hands up and down Eddie’s thighs. “I want you to take a breath, please. Breathe with me, baby.”
Eddie stared at Buck blankly but inhaled, copying Buck’s actions, slowly calming down, and groaned in embarrassment as his cheeks heated. “Dios, I’m sorry.”
Buck shook his head, “Never be sorry for that. I get it. It’s an overload of information you didn’t have. I’ll read the diary to see what else I can gleam…” He trailed off and frowned before adding, “I’ll ask Jenni. She mentioned something about more journals earlier.”
Snorting bitterly, Eddie ran a hand down his face, “Yeah, more proof that my mom’s a psychopath. Seriously, what the f*ck is up with that?” Eddie asked, frustration lacing his tone, “Why can’t she just let me live my life?”
“I wish I had an answer, Eds.” Buck offered gently, wrapping one hand around Eddie’s thigh and squeezing as he picked up the single earring, looking at it critically. “You sure the jewellery box was empty?”
“No.” Eddie rolled his eyes, annoyed, “I got all up in my head and ran from empty trays.”
Buck tapped his thigh in a reprimand, glancing up at him, “Don’t do that, we can spiral later when we get home, and I can wrap you in a blanket and cuddle your ass.”
Eddie snorted and glanced around the room, “I think it might be best to have Jenni hire someone to go through everything and inventory it cause I don’t think I can.”
“Yeah, about that, we don’t have to inventory anything.” Buck stated, setting the earring back down, and waved a hand to the open folder, “Remember how I said I don’t think Shannon knew of the safe? It’s because Janet already had a detailed inventory done, including proof of purchase and insurance details attached…. I’m not sure what happened to the one Shannon evidently started, but this was completed in 2016, a few weeks before Janet’s death.”
Eddie frowned and glanced at the folder, “have you noticed anything odd or out of place?”
Buck’s eyes narrowed as he nodded. Grabbing the folder, he led Eddie into the hall, back into Janet’s room, and pointed at the wall between the windows, “according to this, there should be a small landscape painting done by Caspar David Friedrich.” Buck smiled at Eddie’s blank look and added, “A famous 19th-century painter.”
Eddie grunted, folding his arms; the name or added information meant nothing to him. “What else?”
Buck sighed, an air of disappointment lined his face, “I’ll show you just one second.” Popping into the walk-in, Buck was gone for a few minutes before reappearing, his expression grave, but he waved the folder towards the door and down the hall. “Along this wall, there should be Van Gogh and two lesser-known but no less expensive paintings in the living room. There should be a few Tiffany decorations, like lamps, but I haven’t seen those either.” He paused outside Shannon’s door, hesitating just like Eddie had done, before moving inside, heading directly to the walk-in and coming back quickly, striding from the room, snagging Eddie’s arm.
Buck moved like he was on a mission, heading directly towards the dining room and stopped in front of Jenni, who looked up sharply when Buck dropped the folder in front of her. “Good news, bad news?”
Jenni knocked her head against the back of her chair and glared at him, “good news?”
“Safe in the office - password is 05/22/2011, had a completed inventory list from 2016, signed by your father,” Buck said, leaning over a dining room chair.
Jenni paled and shook her head, opening the folder, “That’s not possible…” trailing off when she came to the signature, and closed her eyes, “Buck… dear god, did our firm f*ck up?”
Buck sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know, Jen, that’s a question for you guys to figure out. I’m not sure why your father would sign something and not keep a copy, at least not something like this.” Buck straightened, cracked his back, and checked his watch, “that’s not the bad news though.”
“It's not?” Jenni demanded, voice turning sharp before she slumped, head bowed, “You already took a catalogue, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, estimate half plus is missing. It’s worthless to whoever took it, at least because it can't be sold legally. The proof and insurance are still in the folder. Still, the Van Gogh and Friedrich are definitely missing.” Buck stated evenly and then set the earring on the table, “also, I didn’t get to the list, but all the jewelry is gone, except for two boxes inside the safe, and an estimated 10k.”
“Seriously?” Eddie interrupted, alarm crossing his face, “Ten thousand dollars is lying in that safe?”
Buck grinned, unable to keep the fondness from his tone as he said, “Yeah, sweetheart, plus Janet's passport and some banking information.”
Jenni groaned and rubbed her forehead, “probably the records Shannon and I looked for originally. Anything else?”
Buck winced and shrugged, “Eddie found a diary of Shannon’s; the last entry isn’t great, but nothing provable, but you’re still going to hate me.”
A little sigh escaped Jenni as she nodded and looked around the dining room, “yeah, I hate you.”
“Why, what’s going on?” Eddie asked in confusion, looking around to see if he could understand whatever they were discussing.
Buck turned to look at him, a hint of sympathy crossing his face, “Eds, this just turned into a crime scene.”
“Crime scene?” Eddie squeaked, wide-eyed with disbelief, “how? Why? Because a few things are missing?”
A semi-hysterical laugh escaped Buck, matched and echoed by Jenni a second later, as Buck reached out a hand and pulled Eddie to his side, before thinking better of it, pushed him into a chair and knelt in front of him. “Eds, I need you to listen and not freak out, alright? Think you can do that?”
Inhaling sharply, Eddie nodded and shook his head simultaneously, making Buck reach up and cup his face, forcing eye contact, and slowing his breathing, Eddie copying him. Eddie wasn’t sure how much time passed, but he reached up and grasped Buck’s wrist, “I’m good, sorry.”
Buck surveyed him critically before speaking gently, “Eddie, a conservative estimate of the missing items, not including the jewellery, is over fifty million dollars.”
“Fifty-fifty million….” Eddie’s lips felt numb, and a hysterical laugh threatened as he shook his head and suddenly bolted, pushing Buck to the side as he raced down the hall and into the bathroom. Reaching the toilet, Eddie threw the lid back and heaved until tears rolled down his face, and he was a shivering, exhausted wreck on the floor. His eyes fluttered helplessly as a cool cloth wiped his face, and a glass was tapped against his lips, a soft voice commanding that he drink and spit before allowing him to drink again.
Finally, though, Eddie forced his eyes open, meeting Buck’s concerned expression, who wiped his face again, “you alright?”
“No.” Eddie forced out, tears coating his throat, “but I will be; you think my mother did this, don’t you?”
“Eds…” Buck whispered, eyes begging him not to make him answer, but Eddie didn’t listen and asked again, somehow feeling better when Buck’s lower lip trembled as he nodded.
***
Not wanting to disturb Pepa or Christopher or answer a million questions either party would have, they had decided to head to the loft. Stumbling in after midnight, dropping their bags just inside the door, Buck was exceptionally relieved not to face Pepa yet, feeling guilty for his ultimatum on top of what Eddie was already dealing with. It sucked, Buck hated keeping things from Eddie, but he wouldn’t drop that bomb, not tonight.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom, alright?” Buck asked softly, locking the apartment door and drawing the chain behind him.
Eddie sighed heavily, “Yeah, I’m good now, or numb. I don’t know. Water?”
“Please?” Buck requested, ducking into the bathroom breathing a sigh of relief as he relieved himself. Washing his hands, he gazed at his reflection in the mirror and winced at the bruising peaking above the collar of his shirt, not having realized it was that bad.
Grabbing the tube of arnica, Buck pulled his t-shirt off, flinching at the bruising. His left arm was a slightly swollen mass of black and blue, and his shoulder and chest matched. The bruise stretched across his chest, to his hip, and down his thigh. Trying to turn to get an angle of his back, Buck gave up, stripping his jeans right there, scooping them up, dropping both in the laundry basket and walking back out.
The glass hitting the counter stopped him in his tracks, and he flushed, “I-”
“Jesus Christ, Buck.” Eddie hurried forward, hands hovering as if terrified to touch, “Where’s your Tylenol?”
Grabbing Eddie’s hands, Buck pulled him forward, “Hey, I’m fine. Bruised, yes, but you saw the imagining; there are no broken bones or sprains; the Tylenol is upstairs, along with the Rub535; I have the arnica cream and was going to ask if you could get my back.”
“Of course, anything.” Eddie promised, taking the tube and ushering him towards the stairs, “I’ll get our water and meet you upstairs, alright?”
Leaning forward, Buck brushed a kiss across Eddie’s lips, “Thank you.”
Eddie’s nose brushed along his as the older man shook his head, “You never have to thank me for taking care of you, not after what you did for me today.”
“I didn’t do anything, Eds.” Buck protested softly.
“Evan, you have done more for me than anyone in my life today and every day since we met, so let me take care of you, please?” Eddie’s breath was a whisper but still even and steady.
Buck exhaled shakily and nodded, “Okay.”
leaving Eddie with a happy smile, Buck climbed the stairs, clambering onto the bed carefully. Grabbing a pillow, he curled around it and lay down, a groan escaping him at the instant relief that hit his body.
Buck exhaled and nodded, “Okay.” leaving Eddie standing with a smile of happiness, Buck climbed the stairs, climbing onto the bed carefully. Grabbing a pillow, he curled around it and lay down, a groan escaping him at the instant relief that hit his body.
Closing his eyes, he listened to Eddie putter around downstairs, the shuffling of their bags, followed by the sound of water filling the glasses, then the steady tread of Eddie’s feet on the stairs.
Opening his eyes, Buck watched Eddie appear and licked his lips as Eddie flashed him a heated look, setting the glasses down and slipping into the bathroom.
Sexual activity was probably not on the doctor’s list of recommendations, but Buck figured if they were careful and slow if Eddie wanted to do anything, he wasn’t about to say no.
Buck groaned as Eddie walked back into the room sans shirt and carrying the bottle of Tylenol, which he opened and knocked two into his hand.
Eddie raised a judgemental eyebrow and smirked as he handed the pills over and the water. “I know what you’re thinking.”
Huffing a breath, Buck tossed the pills back and drained the glass, commenting when he lowered it, “Not exactly hard to do when you look like that.”
Eddie flushed, took the glass back and set it down with a bit of tap on the table.
Picking up the tube of arnica, Eddie tossed it on the bed, undoing his jeans and shoving them down with the other hand.
“Jesus Christ, you’re going to kill me,” Buck complained, shoving his face into his pillow but peaking one eye over his arm to still watch Eddie.
Huffing a laugh of delight, he tossed the jeans to the side and slid onto the bed, picking up the tube of cream. “You know it’s probably not recommended, right?”
Buck flushed as his hips jerked against the bed. Eddie placed a hand on the small of his back, smoothing his thumb over part of the bruise. “Doesn’t make me want it any less,” Buck admitted, mumbling against his arm, then flinched as Eddie spread the cream slowly and carefully.
“Pepa texted and said she was taking Chris to Abuela tomorrow to give us a chance to rest and recharge before Sunday,” Eddie said, shifting to his knees as he added more cream, firming up his touch to add a bit of precision.
Unable to prevent it, Buck tensed, making Eddie pause and peer down at his face, “You alright?”
Nodding into his arm, Buck kept his eyes shut, avoiding Eddie’s gaze, as Eddie hummed, “You’d tell me if they weren’t right?”
Biting his lip, Buck rolled to his back, “They’re not alright, but I can’t talk about it yet.”
“Why not?” Eddie asked, grabbing the cream to start on Buck’s chest.
“I told Pepa I’d give her the chance to do it first. She’s supposed to Sunday.” After a breath of hesitation, Buck admitted, wondering if he should have crawled under the blankets so his lower half was covered.
Eddie froze and looked at Buck wide-eyed, “You gave my aunt an ultimatum, and you’re still breathing?”
Buck stared back evenly without breaking eye contact, “I did, and I’d do it again if it meant protecting you.”
“Evan?” Eddie asked quietly, “What-?”
Buck slid a hand over Eddie’s mouth, “Please don’t ask me because I’ll tell you, and I told Pepa I’d give her a chance first.”
Eddie frowned, pulling Buck’s hand away from his mouth, “how bad is it?”
“Thirty-odd years of secrets,” Buck whispered hoarsely, wincing as Eddie’s eyes widened before they flashed with a recognizable rage he’d felt for weeks. “There’s a lot of those going around.”
Snorting a weak laugh, Buck nodded, “way too many, if you ask me.”
Eddie pressed a kiss to the fingers he still held, “You’ll tell me if Pepa won’t?”
“Right in front of her.” Buck promised instantly, “I'm not keeping this a secret a second longer than I have to, if only because I respect your family and they-“
It was Eddie’s turn to cover Buck’s lips, ignoring the disgusted face at the taste of the cream, “I trust you.”
Buck offered a quirk of a smile, “It’s a gift, Eds. No one has ever trusted me the way you do. I’d never want to ruin that.”
“It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done, Evan.”
Blinking back sudden tears, Buck curled his hand behind Eddie’s head, “I love it when you call me Evan. It gives an entirely new meaning to it.”
Raising a brow, Eddie smiled, “Even if you started it to be a dick, I love when you call me Eds; it feels warm and safe, and my parents hate it, which is always a bonus.”
A mix of emotions flickered over Buck’s face before he could suppress and winced at Eddie’s expression that morphed into sudden understanding. Surprisingly, he didn’t question it, picking up the cream to continue treating Buck’s bruises, and changed the subject. “Is the artwork and stuff missing really worth fifty million?”
“More or less.” Buck winced, his heart hurting at the callous description, “I realize you don’t really understand, but that actually hurts a bit,” Buck admitted, adding with a teasing grin, “uncultured swine.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, “Alright, Mr.Potato Head, be serious.”
Still grinning, Buck’s eyes fluttered close as Eddie’s hand brushed along his nipple, wrenching his eyes open as Eddie chuckled and glared at him halfheartedly before answering somewhat thoughtfully, “Honestly, depending on the auction and the interest, some of those pieces could be sold for an unlimited amount of money.” As Eddie made a disbelieving face, Buck sighed, “Eds, I made a living assessing artwork. I knew what needed or could be grabbed, but no one could claim it was done because they already had the pieces illegally. If we’d done our job right, they became spoils of war.”
At Eddie’s skeptical expression, Buck’s nose twitched, “best comparison I have, for some people, it’d be like finding a mint condition signed baseball by Babe Ruth, which sold for three hundred and eighty-eight thousand plus in 2012.”
“For a baseball?” Eddie demanded incredulously.
Buck shrugged, earning a disapproving look from Eddie, “For some, it’s the idea of owning a piece of history. For others it’s the prestige. The artwork along, f*ck Eddie, Vincent Van Gogh, the same painter who did starry night,” at Eddie’s blank look, Buck rolled his eyes, “Chris did a report on it last year and then a replica painting…” he prompted and smiled at the remembrance that dawned in Eddie’s eyes, “that painting alone, is worth a hundred million.”
Eddie silently mouthed a hundred million and shook his head, panic filling his eyes, “I can’t even….” He trailed off, taking a deep breath, “Let’s talk about something else, please.”
Buck bit his lip to keep from commenting, making Eddie narrow his eyes as if he’d suddenly read Buck’s mind. As punishment, he purposefully thumbed Buck’s nipple, making him shudder, mouth falling open, “Eds…”
Eddie’s eyes darkened with lust, body swaying forward, and he flushed as he realized what he was doing. Placing his hand in the middle of Buck’s chest, his eyes darted to the bruises and whispered, “We really shouldn’t. I don’t want to hurt you.”
A little whine of protest escaped Buck, arms lowering to grab at Eddie, “Little bruising isn’t anything, and it sounds selfish, but I want Eds. I’m going to be sore tomorrow, I know that, and next week is going to be a sh*tshow. I want us to enjoy the child-free evening and forget the rest.”
Eddie licked his lips, shifting to his knees, co*ck rapidly filling his briefs, “What do-do you want?”
Hands sliding off of Eddie to the waist of his underwear, Buck gazed up at him, “Whatever you want, hand jobs, blow j*bs, penetration….” He trailed off as Eddie’s face flamed and drew in a sharp breath, “But, we-we don’t have to, Eds. I don’t want you to do something-“
Eddie finally met his gaze again, sliding his hand over Buck’s mouth. He pulled Buck’s underwear off, followed a second later by his own.
Buck inhaled as Eddie straddled his lap, staring into Eddie’s dilated eyes, his own rolling into the back of his head as Eddie experimentally rolled his hips, a gasp leaving his lips. “I- I don’t want to disappoint you, Evan. I know you have way more experience-“
“Eddie.” Buck interrupted firmly, one hand stilling Eddie’s hips, the other pulling the hand covering his mouth down after pressing a kiss to the tips, “None of that matter, honestly, just getting to love you is enough.”
A weird expression crossed Eddie’s face - part overwhelmed, partially disgruntled, “loving me had better not be enough, I want. I want more; how much I want is ridiculous and probably pathetic, and I don’t even know….” Eddie trailed off helplessly, rocking his hips, hands curling nails scraping along Buck’s skin, causing goosebumps to appear. “I don’t know where to start.”
A broken laugh escaped Buck as he shook his head fondly, hands curling around Eddie’s thighs, “Definitely not ridiculous or pathetic - remember I came untouched just from blowing you?”
Eddie’s hip rolled as he bit his bottom lip, causing Buck to groan, fighting the instinct to hitch up into the action. “f*ck. Eds. I don’t want to rush you, but you’re killing my self-control here.”
“Oh… that. I want that.” Eddie panted, half desperately, half pleading.
Tensing under the former medic, Buck’s hands unintentionally tightened around the man’s thighs, “what specifically are you-“ Buck grunted as Eddie dug his fingers into his skin, leaning forward and continuing to rut against his straining erection, “f*ck, baby, please.” Buck slid a hand up Eddie’s body, curling around his neck and pulling him down, holding him tight and just out of reach of his lips. “Do you want me to take control or give it up?”
A low whine filled Eddie, his lips parting on a breathless plea, “Take, take, please. I don’t-dont know what to do.”
Buck tightened his hand, pulling Eddie into a slow, soft kiss. Teasing at Eddie’s lips with his tongue, Buck flicked it along the seams, dipping it inside for a quick taste before slipping out, kissing down along the rigid jaw, lips and tongue tingling at the five o’clock shadow that wasn’t visible but definitely felt.
Eddie melted against him, his weight pinning him down deliciously as Eddie let him control the kiss, sinking further into it as Buck’s other hand trailed along his skin before curling around to squeeze his ass, thumb running between Eddie’s butt cheeks to press on his hole.
Eddie’s reaction was instant, a moan breaking free as he rutted frantically against Buck's stomach, “More, please.”
Reaching above the bed, Buck grabbed the lube with his free hand, fumbling with it as he opened it, unable to see as he slicked up his fingers, sliding them down to circle Eddie’s rim.
Buck opened Eddie slowly, wishing he could see what he was doing but unwilling to move. He cataloged every facial expression, gasp and moan Eddie let out as he rocked into the penetration, urging him on with a soft, breathless plea. It felt unreal and incredible when Eddie finally slid onto him, letting gravity do the work before he stilled fully seated, breathing hard.
At the first slight shifting of Eddie’s hips, Buck's hands clamped onto Eddie's thighs, sliding up to curl around and grab his ass, carefully controlling Eddie’s movements, letting Eddie get a feel for the sensation.
Time lost meaning, their actions lost in a haze of lust and reverence as they moved as one, the love whispered between them urging them on, until Eddie tensed, jaw slacking in shock, back bowing as he came between them, before collapsing on Buck’s chest as Buck fell a second later, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he came hard, and fast caught by surprise.
When Buck blinked back to awareness - minutes or hours later, he wasn’t sure, having just experienced the best sex of his life. It was to Eddie collapsing in the bed beside him, face twisting at the unpleasant sensation of cold, sticky cum clinging to his skin.
Forcing his limbs took work, but Buck crawled from the bed, stumbling to the bathroom, warming a cloth under hot water, and doing a cursory cleanup before rinsing it and bringing it out to Eddie.
The man in question watched him through heavy-lidded eyes and tried to take the cloth, but Buck brushed him aside, kneeling beside him on the bed, doing a much better job of wiping him clean.
Eddie flushed at the action, pulling him into a very willing kiss as he dropped the cloth on the floor.
Attempting to brace above Eddie met with mixed results, almost face-planting on top of Eddie, who wordlessly urged him to lay down, catching his wince of pain.
Once comfortable, they exchanged syrupy, sweet kisses intercepted by yawning and giggles. Before the yawning won, they wrapped around each other and knew nothing more.
Chapter 5
Chapter Text
Pulling up to the curb in front of Abuela’s, Eddie glanced towards Buck, who was visibly gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip and releasing a slow breath.
Eddie reached across the console, gently prying his hand off, smoothing the knuckle with a gentle hum and kiss to the back of the hand, and whispered, “Carińo, whatever happens, happens. Alright?”
Buck flicked an eye towards him, then back at the house, “I don’t want you to hate me for not telling you.”
Eddie swallowed at the admission and asked quietly, “Is it going to change how you see me?”
“Never!” Buck protested instantly, indignation making him frown, sniffing in growing ire as he glared at the house as if it had purposefully offended him.
Sighing heavily, Eddie sank against the cushion, glancing at the house in question and seeing the curtain dropping quickly. “Do I need to know whatever it is?”
The silence stretched between them for so long that Eddie wasn’t sure Buck would respond, but a quiet sniffle lifted his head, and he thunked it against the headrest. “Evan,” Eddie spoke softly, turning his head to find his fiancé’s eyes red-rimmed and his eyes filled with tears. “You’re fighting for me, even though it hurts you, so honestly, whatever happens, I know it’s not on you.”
“We could grab Chris and run.” Buck offered with a hint of desperation that wasn’t totally false.
Eddie shook his head, squeezing Buck’s hand, “I’d never want you to keep this locked inside. It’s already destroying you, keeping it from me for three days.”
“Four.” Buck correctly, somewhat bitterly, wiping his eyes, “Alright, let’s do this.”
Eddie opened his mouth then closed it, unsure if he should reassure his fiancé that they weren’t going to battle anyone, then thought better of it and squeezed Buck’s hand before sliding out of the jeep.
He shut the door as a car pulled in behind him, making him turn in confusion, his eyes widening in surprise as Adriana rubbed her hands together, pulling on a mask as she pushed open the door and then struggled to get out of the front seat not waiting for the driver. Eddie caught the bottle, Buck tossed over the jeep and quickly sanitized his hands, pulling his mask on before hurrying towards the passenger door. Eddie held out a hand, earning him a glare and a huff as she accepted it, then pulled him into a tight hug, her belly getting in the way. “Hey, big brother.”
“Hey, squirt.” Eddie yelped as Adriana pinched but didn’t release her and asked a Buck move to greet the driver confident and comfortable in a way Eddie wished he could be. “Seriously, how are you?”
Adriana pulled back, rubbed her stomach and laughed, “Excited. Ready for her to be here.”
“Her?” Eddie asked, only to be overlapped by Buck’s excitement, “it’s a girl?”
Adriana laughed as Buck hurried around the car and swept her into a hug, lifting her off the ground, “congratulations.”
Eddie shook his head fondly at his fiancé and then glanced at the driver.
Feeling uncomfortably shy, indecision warred within for only a second before Eddie stepped forward and held out his hand, mentally reciting the correct name before speaking. “Congratulations, Faith.”
“Thanks.” The somewhat deeper one-word response was still jarring, and he hated seeing how she flinched uncomfortably. He understood as best he could, given the circ*mstances. Their mother’s reaction to Adriana and Faith’s relationship going nuclear when Faith came out a female. It would make anyone sane uncomfortable, and Eddie felt confident in that thought because Evan Buckley was somewhat insane for how comfortable he felt fighting back. It was fast approaching a kink on how relieving having that sort of backup was. The undeniable fact that Buck would go to war and win was awe-inspiring, making Eddie love him all the more.
Glancing at the excited squeal, he found Buck bent over Adriana’s shoulder, viewing something on her phone. “Oh, look at the little toes! Eds, Come see.”
Adriana glanced up sharply at the name and frowned, speculatively glancing between them as Eddie slid in beside Buck, who slid an arm around his waist. “Something you wanna share, Eddie?”
Eddie froze and only relaxed when Buck squeezed his side, letting him take the lead. Eddie sighed and shrugged, “we talked, happy?”
Amusem*nt danced in his sister’s eyes, and she raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “not sure it was just talking.”
Eddie flushed as Buck chuckled, slipping a hand down to curve over his ass, and blurted, “We’re engaged.”
Rearing back in shocked surprise, Adriana's eyes darted between them before she surged forward, bumping them with her stomach as she tried to hug them both, a sob breaking free. “It’s about f*cking time.”
Eddie couldn’t help but laugh in relief, even as he secretly agreed. He’d been in love with the other man for so long it was a miracle he’d mustered up the courage to say anything.
“Tia Adri!” Chris’s excited shout broke them apart. Adriana hurried across the lawn and up the steps to sweep Chris into a hug. Whispering inaudibly, Chris’s face turned red, and he ducked his head when they parted.
“Can I introduce you to my girlfriend?” Adriana asked after a minute, then winced, darting a glance towards Eddie in sudden alarm.
Chris grabbed her arm, “It’s okay, I understand. Buck explained it to me.”
Adriana’s face showed her shock, but she kept it quiet as she held a hand to Faith, who climbed the steps to stand beside her. “Christopher, this is Faith. Faith, my nephew Chris.”
Chris held out his hand and grinned, “It’s nice to meet you. You can call me Chris or Christopher.”
Faith smiled shyly and returned the handshake, “Adri’s told me all about you, so I understand you’re really interested in the zoo?”
Chris nodded rapidly, “yeah, Buck and I go all the time.” He paused and sighed, “Or at least we didn’t until the stupid virus hit everyone.”
“We’ll be back before you know it, Bud,” Buck reassured softly, providing the hug Chris asked for wordlessly. “Maybe we can look next week to see if they have a restart date?”
Eyes shining, Chris glanced up from where his head smooshed into Buck’s stomach and nodded, “Yes, please, and daddy has to come too.”
“Dad will definitely be there.” Buck agreed instantly, which should have felt somewhat alarming given the unknown of today’s visit.
Eddie climbed the steps, ruffling his son’s hair, agreeing softly, “As long as I get to see some elephants.”
Chris made a face, “Dad, everyone knows the meerkats are the best.”
“Are not!” Buck argued, “We agreed that it was the penguins, remember? With their rocks?”
“Noooo, Buck.” Chris started to protest, only to be interrupted by Abuela, who appeared at the door, drying her hands, eyes crinkled with a smile, though worry and a hint of fear were reflected in their depths.
“Are we gathering on the front step or coming inside for food?” Abuela asked, reaching out to hug Adriana and buzzing her cheek, only hesitating briefly before doing the same to Faith, who stared at her in wide-eyed wonder. Ushering them into the house before turning to face Eddie and Buck, her expression changing to one of heartbreak that she tried to hide by hugging Eddie close. “Abuela?”
“Not yet, Eddie. Just know I’ve loved you from the moment I knew of you, alright?” Abuela whispered, voice hoarse.
Reluctantly, Eddie nodded, closed his eyes as she patted his cheek, and then looked at Buck, who was staring back, expression guarded. A sad smile appeared on her face, eyes glistening with tears, “It’s not your fault, Evanitto. In fact, you’re right to push it. It’s past time I stop letting others dictate how I live my life.”
Eddie watched as Buck’s lower lip trembled as he nodded, bending to engulf the woman in a hug, his expression hidden from her but visible to Eddie. It spoke of acceptance and love, and Eddie knew it went a long way to make Buck stop feeling guilty.
Abuela pulled back abruptly as if she knew and cupped Buck's face, staring him straight in the eyes, “Welcome to the family, officially.”
Buck let out a water laugh and blushed, not even bothering to ask how she knew. Instead, he buzzed her cheek and whispered, “Thank you.”
An hour and a half later, they were all gathered around the table, the remains of supper cleared from the table to be replaced with dessert, and a sense of anticipation that was starting to feel uncomfortable. Not helped by Pepa’s conflicting attitude that alternated between sorrowful as she gazed sadly at Eddie and judgemental as she glared at Buck, who stared back indifferently, not breaking under her silent condemnation.
Eddie only kept his mouth closed because Buck kept one hand on his thigh, squeezing it every time Eddie opened his mouth to defend him.
Abuela finally emerged from the house, ignoring Pepa's distressed glare, carrying a large photo album that Eddie didn’t recognize, followed by Adriana’s soft noise of confusion, showing she didn’t either.
Abuela set it down and slid into the chair, hand placed on the book as she glanced around before settling her eyes on Buck.
“Do you want to explain how we came to be here?”
Buck pulled back, looking startled as if not expecting the question, darting a quick glance to Pepa, whose face resembled stone but nodded after a minute.
“I’ve been going through some things, and it’s spilled over into work, even after I’ve repeatedly asked not to bring it inside. No one respected that, so I started listening to podcasts in my downtime.” Buck began, voice wavering, and he swallowed, “I stumbled across this podcast of unsolved murders-“
“Christopher should leave.” Pepa interrupted firmly, glaring at Buck with a hard edge.
Confused, Eddie glanced between them, then over at Chris, but Abuela spoke up, voice soft and commanding, “Chris will stay.”
“No, I won’t allow it.” Pepa denied instantly, “he’s too young and doesn’t need to be involved in a discussion about these subjects.”
Buck snorted, back straightening, “Do you think him not knowing will change the outcome? That Chris doesn’t already understand the concept of death and what murder is?”
Pepa puffed up like an enraged bull, slamming her hand on the table and making everyone jump, “You’re not his father. You’re not family when you’re sitting here destroying it!”
“I am Christoper’s father, and after we’re married, I hope to make that official.” Buck snapped back, voice brittle as he glared at Pepa.
“You can’t get married!” Pepa argued instantly, then reached a hand forward as Eddie jerked back, “No, listen, I love you, but this isn’t right.”
Eddie frowned furiously as he leaned forward, stabbing the table to emphasize his point as he demanded, “If I’m not going to let my parents interfere in my life, what makes you think you get a say?”
Eyes never wavering, Pepa glared at Buck, lips compressed into a thin line.
Chris’s head bobbled back and forth as he opened his mouth, but Abuela spoke unyieldingly before he could utter a sound.
“Josephine, you will be silent so Evanitto can continue.” Isabel glared at her daughter, who finally dropped her gaze.
It still took a minute and a mouthful of water for Buck to continue, “As I said, I came across podcasts of unsolved murders. One was a short - concise, and somewhat disturbing story.”
Eddie’s hand tightened in remembrance, and he swallowed, “Is that the one from breakfast….” He trailed off, unable to complete his question, not that he needed to because Buck’s flinch answered it for him.
Isabel spoke calmly as if taking pity on him, even if the question made Eddie feel like it made him a target. “Do you still have the podcast, Buck?”
Buck closed his eyes and nodded.
“Then I think you should play it. This way, everyone can hear it at once.” Abuela said firmly, glaring at Pepa when she opened her mouth to argue.
Hesitating for only a second, Buck pulled his phone up, fingers rapidly finding the podcast and set the phone down in the middle of the table after ensuring the volume was loud enough for everyone to hear. Then, with a deep breath, he hit play.
“This short podcast is about the 1990 murder of a Mexican immigrant on 15 Ross Ave, in Los Angeles, California.
This murder has been forgotten by society even though the 30th Anniversary is just around the corner. It proves that the social divide is still very much in play and evident throughout this podcast as it addresses the issues of assumptions and shoddy police work regarding those different or from a lower socioeconomic background. Much of this information comes from the incomplete police work, and an anonymous source, who requested they not be named as the husband in question, does not wish to be reminded of this time but has verified its accuracy by providing details only a family friend would know…
Gabriella Ramirez was a strikingly beautiful twenty-year-old with the haunted look of a woman constantly looking over her shoulder, and for good reason. She stood at five foot two inches, with thick waist-length hair with enough curl to give it a wild, untamed appearance. Classical heart-shaped face shape, with green eyes framed by thick, almost unnatural, long eyelashes. Gabriella was the type of beauty that didn’t need enhancement of makeup. She claimed that she only used sunscreen outside of cleaning products in twenty years of life, but only after moving to LA. She dressed conservatively for her age, but given her tragic circ*mstances that can be forgiven, the idea that she didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention given what happened.
Gabriella grew up in a large family. The family numbered over a hundred people. Remember, this is a Mexican family, spanning years and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and the like.
Gabriella was born to Juanita and Pablo Ramirez in 1970, the younger sister of Edmundo Ramirez, who was born in 1966. Tragedy struck the family the first time in 1972 when Pablo died of an undisclosed illness; the second tragedy took place in 1975 when Juanita passed away (unknown reason). The siblings were then adopted by her sister, their aunt, Mariana and Emmanuel Lopez, who loved those children, the couple never having surviving children.
For a time, everything was fine within the family. There were more marriages, births and deaths, Emmanuel’s grandfather passing away in 1985 of what was determined to be a heart attack.
Sadly, in 1987, a tale all too common, Gabriella, the only family member to attempt to complete an education living in Mexico, was being escorted home from the local school by her brother Edmundo when the cartel stopped them. After a brief encounter that turned violent, Edmundo was executed, and Gabriella was then gang raped.
Shortly after that, Gabriella met the oldest son(1956) of Isabella Lopez, a non-blood relative, but relative all the same, as she was Emmanuel’s sister, who immigrated to America in the early 50s, married her then-husband Javier and had two children, the oldest of which is the tragic sacrificial lamb of this tale. What is unclear here is whether that upstanding American knew the sad story. However, there is the belief and understanding he knew of Gabriella’s grievous attack and resulting pregnancy. He sacrificed his life to provide Gabriella with a better - somewhat safer life for her and her child in America. He married and brought her to fifteen Ross Ave, in Los Angeles, California, as his eighteen-year-old bride. Which unfortunately put to rest his intentions of continuing his interest in other areas of his romantic life.
For the almost two years the family resided in LA, they lived a calm, quiet life involving a close-knit family atmosphere.
His family consisted of his paternal grandparents, maternal grandmother, parents, sister and her husband, their three children, and the multiple aunts, uncles, and cousins on the paternal side. Gabriella included her aunt-turned-adoptive mother, who tragically passed away shortly after arriving in LA.
In August of 1990, the small family was presented with the opportunity to rise above their present circ*mstances, and the husband was offered a fully funded move to El Paso, Texas, motivating him to prove himself to advance further.
That opportunity was almost ruined on October 31, 1990, when he became the prime suspect in the murder of his much younger wife.
After taking the two-year-old child he was raising trick-or-treating, the two returned home, the husband allowing the child to go first to show his mom the ‘goodies.’ The child reportedly screamed, alerting the husband that something was wrong, and entered the kitchen to find his wife’s body sprawled at an unnatural angle.
The police had a lot of theories and suspicions in the first 48 hours, all pointed towards the husband. Jealous rage, infidelity, revenge, the burden of raising another man’s child, the speculation was rampant and vicious, yet in a surprise twist, the police could find no evidence of that.
Friends and neighbours reported that the husband was seen multiple times that night, in the reported hours of the murder, Gabriella having been deceased only an hour to two hours at most. No man was able to be in two places at the same time. With the streets crowded with families trick-or-treating, no one noticed any unusual or suspicious behaviour that could point to a definite creditable witness.
The family reported that the two married couples had a relationship based on mutual respect and love for the little boy they raised. The husband treated that child as his pride and joy, though there was temporary talk and suspicion that the woman and child were a front to hide his sexuality, but that rumour was dismissed when no evidence appeared to back that claim. It was also disproved thoroughly a year and a half later when his new wife presented him with a healthy daughter.
After the autopsy report was released, blunt force trauma was the official cause of death. Still, in a delay relating to the shoddy investigation, the only thing the police did was collect fingerprints from the kitchen before releasing the scene.
Unfortunately for Gabriella Ramirez and the orphaned boy being raised by a selfless man, the police never found a single suspect, though, in my opinion, they didn’t look very far….
The podcast finished, leaving an unnatural silence, even the noise of the city fading away as the seven occupants sat at the table staring at the iPhone that finally went black.
Eddie swallowed, eyes burning with unshed tears, glancing at Abuela as she cleared her throat and brushed at her face.
“Time should have taught me long ago that secrets don’t remain hidden, and a secret like this shouldn’t be.” Abuela sighed sadly, “I have spent thirty years mourning a good and beautiful woman. I feel like I’ve been haunted every day since, and all because I’d been ordered to forget her, and in that fear, I’ve not spoken her name since.” Abuela flipped open the album, turned it around, showing a family tree, and apologized. “I don’t know who knows what anymore, and that podcast, while mostly correct, is not completely accurate, so the easiest thing to do is start at the beginning. My parents, Jose and Lola Lopez had five children, including me. We immigrated here from Mexico in 1949, where Papa got a job at LA Times; he also met who would become my future husband, Javier Diaz. We married in 1955 and had our honeymoon in Mexico. To my great surprise and happiness, my best friend Mariana and brother Emmanuel got married while we were there, and we both got pregnant together. Unfortunately for Mariana, her child didn’t survive, while mine did. Ramon was born in 1956, Josephine followed in 1960, and Isiah in 1961. Mariana and Emmanuel had four pregnancies, no surviving children, and a doctor’s warning to not attempt a fifth.”
Isabel paused, hands fluttering over the page, as she gazed at Eddie's heartache spilling from her eyes. “In the meantime, Mariana’s sister had married, which resulted in two children, Edmundo and Gabriella Martinez. In 1973, after a series of unfortunate deaths, Mariana formally adopted her sister’s children, giving them the option of changing their names, which the sibling never did, and we all respected that. No one in the Lopez or Diaz family looked down on the orphaned children; we loved them.“
Abuela’s eyes drifted shut, a tear sliding down her cheek, “in 1987, there had been a shift in the range of the cartel in Mexico, and either through oversight or misdirection, they pulled Edmundo and Gabriella over, ripping apart their car. From what Gabriella said of the incident, it turned violet quickly. Edmundo was shot and killed instantly, and Gabriella was….” Abuela swallowed harshly, brushed a tear away, and cleared her throat, “Gabby was attacked and left for dead; a neighbour found her and brought her home.”
It took a few minutes for Abuela to collect herself before continuing, hands shaking as she took a drink of water, “I got a call from Mariana at three am, hysterical, speaking in a mixture of Spanish and broken English, about what happened. Javier couldn’t go with me, but Ramon was available, so he escorted Pepa and me to Mexico. We had the funeral, and Pepa and I stayed for a few months, helping where possible. Random came back to escort us home and, unbeknownst to us, spoke to Gabby privately, offering her sanctuary in LA.” Iseballa’s lip trembled again, and she buried her head in her hands, shoulders shaking, talking to the ground, “I suspected he asked Gabby because it was front; he’d never been interested in a woman before that day, and it’s horrible of me to speculate, because it was an amiable relationship, they respected one another, and love did grow between them. There was no blood relation between them, and Gabby was happier than I’d ever seen. We got her a Green card, they married and arrived in LA, and were happy.”
Isabel finally lifted her head and looked at Eddie, “Ramon was ecstatic when you were born. He bragged about his son to everyone and anyone. No matter how small, every new thing you learn might have been the creation of electricity. Not once was it hinted that you weren’t his by blood. You were his son, and he couldn’t have been prouder.”
Eddie swallowed harshly, mind whirling with confusion, as he clenched at Buck’s hand, unable to say anything.
“I don’t remember the dates anymore, but the podcast was correct that Ramon was offered the opportunity to move to El Paso. It was too good to pass up, and they talked it over endlessly before agreeing it would be for him to investigate in person. He left, came back excited, and they made their plans. We have no idea why or where, but you became obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja’s Nigna Turtles, so that Halloween, Ramon searched high and low for the orange one, your favourite and took you around the block. Unfortunately, it was too late. By the time you and Ramon returned home, Gabriella was already gone.” A bitter downward sneer crossed Abuela’s face, “the police arrived and, within hours, had arrested Ramon on suspicion of murder. They tried questioning you, but you couldn’t say much, not even your name. You understood it, of course, but you always said Eds.” A sad smile crossed her face as Buck tensed, “It was jarring the first time I heard you say it."
Buck squeezed Eddie's hand but didn't say anything, so Isabel continued, "Ramon had packed everything after he was cleared and moved to El Paso, claiming the change of scenery would be good, and it was at first. The last two months you were in LA, you were subdued and often silent, so by the time I got to visit you in La Paso, almost eight months had passed. You’d grown fast, spoke in full sentences and refused to respond to Eds, so it was never used again.” Isabel clasped her hands around her glass of water, “it was also the same time we met Helena. We had no idea that Ramon had even started another relationship. He’d never talked about or mentioned her beyond saying she’d been hired to care for you. I tried to talk to him about it, as it seemed rushed and disrespectful somehow. It hadn’t even been a year, but after he shut me down, I kept my mouth shut, as it had already felt like he’d started to avoid speaking with me. I got a call. I guess it would have been March or April of 91’. Ramon was drunk and crying, raging about injustice and how it wasn't fair. I couldn’t really make heads or tails of the conversation. He flitted from one subject to another before ending it with the information he was getting married and hung up. He refused all phone calls for five months when he called me in July and told me Helena had been delivered of a girl.”
Adriana gasped, eyes filling with tears. Faith wrapped an arm around her shoulders, but Eddie shook his head in confusion.
“I- what does that- what’s the significance of that.”
Everyone turned to stare at him, and he flushed and shrugged uncomfortably as Buck sighed, “If I’m understanding and reading behind the lines correctly, if Ramon was raving about the unfairness of life, given what he did for Gabreilla when Helena told him she was pregnant she would have been three to four months along when they married.”
“Oh.” Eddie whispered lamely, still not understanding, but Isabel nodded, “That’s correct. After that, things got weird. Ramon rarely called; if he did, it was to list accomplishments, but it was robotic, punctuary, cold even. It didn’t feel like my son at all. I was also never invited to visit, and the one time I did, I was made to feel unwelcome and unwanted. I only visited once more when Sophia was born, helping and entertaining you two. At night, I listened to Helena berate Ramon for giving me free rein, and I was asked to leave two weeks into my stay. The only compromise I ever achieved was while Javier was alive. I’m not sure what was said, as it was a private conversation, but that summer, Ramon escorted you two to LA, and you stayed for July, and it became our ritual with Sophia included until Javier’s death.”
As Isabel’s voice faded, the silence returned to the yard, each lost in thought.
Eddie licked his lips nervously, glancing between his tia and Abuela, the thought stopping him abruptly as he realized they weren’t. It was Pepa and Isabel. Sorrow and grief slammed into his gut so fast it made him breathless. “Ramon’s not my father?”
Iseballa paused and regretfully shook her head, “Not by blood, but his name is on the birth certificate, and he claimed you.”
Ignoring that, Eddie shook his head, “And Helena is not my mother.”
A tiny jerk of Isabel’s head made Eddie clench tighter at Buck’s hand, which had to be sore by now, though he made no noise. “My real mother was Gabriella Martinez?”
Tears filled Isabel’s eyes as she nodded, mouth parting, but Eddie spoke before she could, his tone getting colder, “And she was murdered?”
“Yes.” Isabel agreed simply, tensing.
“This mythical woman was murdered, and you forgot to mention it?” Eddie snapped, sarcasm dripping from his tone as he shoved from the table, “I thought hiding a dead brother was bad. Both of you offered advice on how I could help Evan. I was so grateful because I didn’t know how to help. I thought you were wise and helpful, but you’re not. You’re hypocritical experts!”
“It wasn’t like that!” It burst out of Pepa, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“From where I stand, that’s precisely what it is. You literally forgot about the existence of my real mother, letting me grow up under the weight of Helena’s expectations and never measuring up.“ Eddie shot back, angrily raking a hand through his hair, grabbing the hand Buck held out like a lifeline and pulling himself into Buck’s embrace as the other man stood.
Pepa was shaking her head in denial, “Mami and I never forgot Gabby; we just weren’t allowed to speak of her.”
“And that’s my fault?” Eddie demanded heart cracking.
“No, Edmundo, no. Not your fault, it’s never been yours.” Isabel spoke, rising to her feet, “At first, Ramon told us that you refused to speak of Gabby and had replaced her with Helena, and during that visit, I would have concurred. Helena dotted on you, and seeing you come out of your shell was wonderful. By the time Adriana was born, you called her mom, so we left it alone, though I swore to myself that if you asked, I’d tell you.” Isabel wiped her eyes and shook her head.
Pepa sighed and whispered, “You never did, so neither did we. It seemed easier to follow what Ramon wanted because he said you were happier.”
“I always wondered why I was the scapegoat. I was blamed and punished for every misdemeanour possible, and Dad-Ramon enforced it. Adriana got a pat on the head for doing everything right until she told them she was dating Faith. Sophia could never do any wrong and then got my house.” Snorting in disbelief, Eddie glanced between the two women and shook his head, “You want to know my first memory? I got the switch at five years old because I said Pierre Doyle had a pretty smile. There was no accompanying lecture, just the switch, bed with no super and massive amounts of disappointment and guilt thrown my way for weeks. At the time of Gabriella’s murder, I would have been two. How could you reasonably expect me to remember a woman if she was never talked about?”
“We didn’t want it to hurt you.” Pepa whispered miserably, dropping her gaze, “It’s why I didn’t want Buck to say anything. I knew it would ruin-“
“Don’t blame Evan for your own f*cked behaviour.” Eddie growled, stopped from taking a step forward as Buck tightened his hold, “You choose to forget a woman who had been murdered and let that murder go unsolved for thirty years, and the only-“ Eddie’s voice caught on a sob, but he forced it out, “the only reason you’re saying anything now is Buck refused to let me live the rest of my life believing a lie.”
Adriana’s soft cries finally penetrated the thick fog of rage, “You let us both grow up and live a quarter of our lives on a lie, and all you have to say is you mourned and grieved. You should feel guilty as f*ck, if anyone ruined anything. It’s the both of you for not stepping up and saying, ‘No, that’s not right.”
Pepa dissolved into tears, but Isabel bowed her head, admitting in a soft voice, “You’re right. We should have done better.” Isabel lifted her head, “I will do better. Any questions you have, I’ll tell you what I can.”
“Are there pictures of my real Abuela, tía Isabel?” Chris broke in, voice sharp and filled with a hint of anger. The question made everyone freeze and stare at the little boy, who glared back defiantly. “What?”
Isabel licked her lips, “I’m Abuela, Chris,”
Christopher shrugged, struggling to stand, “Not really. If Gabriella was Daddy's mom, that makes her my Abuela and her adoptive mom my other Abuela. You’re only related by marriage, which at best makes you a tía Abuela.” He frowned and glanced at Buck, “that’s right, right?”
Buck rocked his head side to side and conceded with a nod, “Close enough. I barely understand how it works in English; don’t ask me to translate it to Spanish, bud.”
Chris grinned and clapped, “Either way, it’s kind of the best news all week. It means Mrs.Helena can’t try and take me anymore 'cause she’s not daddy’s mommy, which means her argument that she knows best is false.”
Isabel winced, face still reflecting her hurt at Chris’s words, “I may not be related by blood-“
“No, not tonight. You’re not guilting my son into your beliefs or logic.” Eddie interrupted, uncaring how rude it was, “Chris is right though, and I would like to know if there are pictures. I want to take them and view them with my family because I’m too bitter to stay here longer.”
“I’m not- I wasn’t going to guilt him. I am your grandmother, Edmundo. That’s never going to change.” Isabel responded, voice wavering, but pushed the thick photo album across the table. “These-these are all the pictures I have. You have my permiss- they’re yours if you want them.”
Buck squeezed his arm, and moved around the table to help Chris get his things, snagging the album on his way past as Eddie stared at the two women who had sheltered him since he’d arrived in LA, and offered an olive branch, “I- I need time. How short or long that will be, I don’t know. Don’t call unless it’s an emergency, and for now, I prefer you text Evan. I trust he will know if he needs to pass something on.” Eddie took a breath and released it slowly, “I need you to be aware, though I won’t keep this quiet. It’s not right that this family, for all they’ve done for me, have essentially let a person get away with murder for over thirty years. Gabriella deserves justice for no reason other than being an innocent victim, and it’s what a decent person would do.”
Isabel released a heavy breath and nodded, “I understand. Take all the time you need, Edmundo, whenever you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.”
Eddie fought the sting of tears as he turned, pausing for a minute to curl a hand around the back of Adriana’s neck and pressed a kiss to the top, “Take care, Adri.”
Then, without another word, Eddie left the backyard, using the gate, half collapsing into Buck’s arms when he appeared around the side of the house, already waiting.
Hours later, after putting an overly emotional preteen to bed, Eddie exited the bedroom Chris had been set up in and moved through the secured condo, looking for Evan. He found the man, shifting through the cupboards and making a list on his phone with a little furrow on his brow. “He down?”
Yawning into his fist, Eddie nodded, “Yeah, he's still upset though.”
Buck set his phone down and leaned against the counter, “that’s not surprising. It’s a lot of information to take in as an adult, and I did hesitate, allowing Chris to stay, but I felt he deserved the truth.”
“He did.” Eddie responded instantly and rubbed his eyes, glancing around the modern kitchen, “How did you find the condo so fast?”
Buck had driven them from Abuela’s and ordered them to pack for two weeks, as he was taking them away, so they could all rest in peace, then asked for their devices while they packed. Eddie hadn’t been expecting the high rise but admitted it was a good location, with an onsite pool that Chris was excited for and a gym if Eddie needed to work off excess energy. It was an entirely modern place, including Hildy appliances, three bedrooms, two full baths, on a corner with a wrapped balcony with a view of the harbour.
“Michael through Athena. Explained selectively that we wanted a place we could hold up that no one knew about but still kept us in the city.” Buck explained, tilting his head, and asked quietly, “Did I do the right thing?”
“Yes.” Eddie responded instantly, “f*ck yes, never doubt that.” He fisted his hands and drew in a deep breath, holding it for a long second, “I know that they felt trapped - caught between a rock and a hard place, but that doesn’t justify what they did, as I know they would have never told me without prompting.”
Buck made an encouraging noise and then pushed off the counter, “How do you feel right this second?”
Eddie frowned, trying to parse how he felt, admitting somewhat surprised, “numb but also guilty and relieved.“
“In what way?” Buck asked carefully, pulling two water bottles from the freezer. They weren’t frozen but chilled, just the way Eddie liked them and handed one over.
“I-“ Eddie stopped and frowned, “I feel guilty for being relieved Helena's not related to me but guilty because of everything she’s put Chris and me through.” Eddie responded slowly as if testing out his words, before adding, “I also feel guilty for blind-siding Adriana, though I know it’s not my fault.”
“Adriana will be fine - right now, she’s alternating between crying and raging. I’ve texted Faith, and she’s promised to keep me informed.” Buck reassured gently, “What about the numb aspect?”
“Like I’m in a fog, I have all these new thoughts and concepts, questions I don’t know how to ask, and no one to give me real answers. Intellectually, I know I’m related to that woman, but at the same time….” He trailed off and shook his head helplessly, and Buck smiled sadly.
“It’s a foreign concept that doesn’t fit with what you know?” Buck asked carefully, “I do understand. I went through this when learning of Daniel’s existence.”
Deflating, Eddie nodded, “Yeah, something like that.” Eddie bit his lip and glanced at Buck, “I told them to give me time, but they had to understand I wouldn’t let this rest. Gabriella deserves to be remembered.”
“She does, but you also deserve to know what she was like, too, Eds,” Buck whispered softly, reaching across the island as tears sprang to Eddie’s eyes.
“Don’t ever stop calling me that.” Eddie whispered, squeezing Buck’s hand, “I don’t remember calling myself that, but I love that you do.”
Buck ducked his head, a blush climbing his neck as he nodded, “So I have a confession, I guess.”
“Gonna tell me why you took my phone?” Eddie asked dryly.
“Ah, yeah, I-ah, that was a little high-handed, but I won’t apologize exactly.” Buck stuttered, running a hand through his hair, “I got- not suspicious exactly, but as I buckled Chris into the jeep, I remembered the diary entry of Shannon’s and wondered how she knew where Shannon lived. It got me wondering, and given that I was planning on us hiding here, I decided to cover our bases and checked for tracking programs on your phone and Chris’s iPad.” He squeezed Eddie’s hand as Eddie tensed, “I didn’t find anything on your phone, but I will admit to checking your email and noticed that it had email forwarding targeted at specific emails, one of which was Shannon’s, any of those emails, were sent to the email the lawyer had.”
Eddie slumped dejected, “which explains how my mom found out. Shannon texted that she’d sent a copy of the divorce papers through email and by registered mail.” Eddie sighed and lifted his head, “what about Chris’s iPad?”
“It had a tracking app. I copied the information, deleted the app, kept the iPad off and mixed it with my stuff so he won't find it. I thought that given the age of that device, maybe tomorrow we could take him to the Apple Store and purchase a newer one for him, and maybe an Apple Watch. I don’t necessarily expect him to be out of our sight, but I’d feel more comfortable if he had the means to call for help if he was in a situation and we weren’t there.”
Eddie slid off the stool and paced around the island until he bullied Buck back against the counter, wrapping his arms around him and melting against Buck’s chest when he returned the hug. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Eds,” Buck responded softly, squeezing Eddie closer as his shoulders began to shake. Buck dropped his head to Eddie’s and brushed a reverent kiss across the top of Eddie’s head, “I got you, baby. I got you.”
It was true, too. Eddie had no idea what was going to happen. They had the 118 and Maddie to deal with, Janet and Shannon’s estate and the missing artifacts and collectables, the massive lawsuit on top of that, and learning about a woman who was his mother while demanding justice for her murder. It felt like a lot, but he knew that everything would be alright with Evan at his back. Evan had stepped up and in and had never failed him, and while it might have been fear that pushed him to say something, he’d never regret loving Evan Buckley.
